Driving

[Formershyguy]

I don't know if its me but I get a little anxious when driving. Like for example I hate it when any car is directly behind me. Sometimes I feel like they're going to follow me and attack me when I stop because I might have accidentally them up. I know that being anxious like this can make things worse and I shouldn't worry about it but I also hate it when you're about to go through a roundabout and I see a car coming which should be giving way to me but they are going so fast I'm scared they might not stop so I will give them a death stare! That annoys me because they should just stop or atleast slow down to make me feel more safe.

Sometimes though I will even turn into other places or car parks if I feel I'm being followed just to see if I'm being followed. Its probably paranoiia. But sometimes I feel like people are going to follow me and shout at me.

I'm sure we've all done it where we might have accidentally pulled out of a roundabout especially in the mornings and not seen a vehicle or been slightly too late. In that case I speed up. I like to think I'm a good driver and I'm especially careful with cyclists.

God thats another issue. Cyclists - Apologies to anyone who is a cyclist but they do annoy me too because I have to slow right down and I won't overtake unless I have a lot of room and its safe. I feel like other drivers probably get annoyed with me because I just allow myself to get stuck behind them.

One time I was going back home and its a little hilly on my way home. There was a cyclist plus a few parked cars. I was just being careful and there was a motorcyclist behind me. I could hear him shouting because I was being slow.

I mean I've been guilty of beeping my horn at people if they are holding me up, like people in cars stopping to chat to each other.

I tend to avoid motorways and A roads. I prefer to use country roads and try to keep my journeys local. So if I need to go anywhere further I prefer to take the train as its less stress.

[Bored]

I can't drive at all due to anxiety, so I reckon you are doing pretty pretty good , well done.

[Formershyguy]

Thanks! Well on the plus side it does give me more freedom and means I can get work out of the regular train or bus route. Hopefully after this job ends I can look for something much closer to home or remote.

[biscuits]

Yeah! Some situations make me nervous. Driving to new places that are far away gets me a little bit anxious. Mainly because I worry about getting lost or being late. Also when roads are closed unexpectedly in unfamiliar places and you have to find a diversion.

I prefer driving on the dual carriageways and the motorway because it's just going in a straight line.

The best thing is to keep having little goes in the places that make you nervous so you build up your familiarity and confidence

[Jen.]

Yeah, I'm also too anxious to drive on motorways, if I ever plan a route I always click the button that makes it avoid them. I'm getting better on A roads though, if they're quiet and it's one I've become familiar with I don't mind too much. I only got my first car last September despite knowing how to drive for years and I'm much less anxious now than I was when I first got it. The most I've driven away from home is about 75 minutes now, which was okay because it was so stop and start with going between different towns and through roadworks that the time went by quickly. It still always feels like a big deal to drive anywhere though, compared to how I imagine it is for "normal" people - I always have to psych myself up for it even if it's just going to the supermarket. I don't really like making journeys longer than 10 minutes on my own either.

Cyclists annoy me far more as a pedestrian than as a driver. You can never talk to a bad driver or bad cyclist though, they're the same as bad dog owners - it's always "the other ones" that are a problem

[Quietman]

I was such an anxious driver, it took me eight times to pass my test, one time I failed attempting to go down a one way street the other time failure to stop at a zebra crossing its safe to say I have never driven since.

[Dougella]

^ But you still passed!

I never passed my driving test so I don't drive, I'm not good at it at all mostly due to anxiety.

[Quietman]

^ For me its a mixture of things, anxiety to coordination, I always got my left and rights mixed up.

[Aelwyn]

I have to psych myself up whenever I drive. I hate slip roads, I'm always worried I'll get to the end and not be able to get out on to the main road.

[anxiouslondoner]

I haven't driven in years, I'd have to do a refresher course if I did.
I never really felt comfortable doing it. But I've no interest in owning a car at the moment.

[genovese]

Driving is one my greatest pleasures. I actually find it really relaxing. And I'm not a speed head or monster exhaust type.
I love it as much as walking and will do either anytime anywhere.

If you're struggling with motorways have a few practice runs...sounds obvious but pick a quiet time, stay in lane 1 behind a lorry. They're limited to 56mph so you can happily stay at a more or less constant pace. Drive a few junctions, and come back on yourself back home. Do that a few times and you'll start getting used to it. Practice practice practice.

[Consolida]

I can totally relate Formershyguy.

I passed my test first time at the age of 19 but, years later, I'm still like a nervous inexperienced driver. I avoid motorways like the plague and prefer to take an extra 4 hours to get somewhere by taking the scenic route, although I know it's been proven that country lanes are more dangerous to drive on than motorways.

I've never quite understood how anyone can enjoy driving or find it relaxing as for me it's only ever been a means of getting from A to B. Or to avoid being cooped up with people on public transport. Quite possibly the fact that the roads around my way are jammed packed with aggressive drivers in white vans and souped up Audi's doesn't help matters. I can't tell you how many bad accidents we've only just managed to avoid because of such lunatics!

Recently I've become increasingly dependant on both my husband and even my son driving me places which isn't a good situation at all because my confidence as a driver is declining further. Maybe I should start taking little trips out again. Maybe..

[biscuits]

Driving at night is always a bit of a struggle for me.

[Quietman]

^ Did you ever take any driving lessons Crafty Elf, I found driving extremely stressful it requires a lot of concentration which I don't seem to have.

[Moksha]

I sometimes feel close to losing my nerve. You don't have a second to hesitate or make a mistake. If you do, someone is right up your backside bibbing and swearing. Cars turn people into maniacs - especially men. I hate the damn things, especially those b*stard boy racers and their modified exhausts.

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by The*Crafty*Elf

I dread to think what i'd be like if i was on the roads. I imagine it would be something like Mario Kart with me chucking out shells and Banana skins at other drivers.

[Mellie]

Tried to drive before but I was too anxious, I might try learning again at some point it is scary though.

[humphrey]

I don't mid driving, in fact I sometimes quite enjoy it. I passed my Advanced Driving Test about 20 years ago, which makes me notice what the idiots are going to do even before they know it. When I worked as a staff driver sometimes I had to drive really fast on Motorways & dual carriageways (+100mph), so you had to be really paying attention when you are travelling a mile in less than 30 secs. If I get tailgaters I treble my distance to the car in front and sometimes slow down just to annoy them.

The thing I hate most about driving now is all the ANPR cameras at car parks, service stations etc., it stresses me out wondering if the have got my number on the way out as well as the way in.

[Marco]

^^ I'm the same with motorways versus busy towns and cities. Also, I don’t like driving along narrow, winding country lanes, especially when they're lined on either side with hedges or whatever so that you can't see what's around the bends. I seem to remember Cornwall was quite bad for that. Unfamiliar country roads can be pretty scary in the dark.

[genovese]

Originally Posted by humphrey

. I passed my Advanced Driving Test about 20 years ago, .

Ooh I've been toying with that idea myself for a few years now. Think it was about £150 when I looked into it and was done with volunteers. I need to get back on that.

[Dougella]

^ Maybe he works for the police or the security services?!

[humphrey]

I worked for the Police and had a legal exemption, also the cars had hidden blue lights and sirens, just in case. Used the blue lights when idiots tried to tailgate at 110mph, they soon backed off! I once managed Newcastle to Chester in under 3 hours, over 190 miles. One of the cars I was driving had an OTR price of £79,000. It was great, had double glazed windows and air suspension and a 4.5 litre diesel engine, 0 - 60 in 4.9 secs.

Ooh I've been toying with that idea myself for a few years now. Think it was about £150 when I looked into it and was done with volunteers. I need to get back on that.

I used to be one of the volunteers (called Observers), I got about a dozen people through their test. Including a taxi driver, who thought he new more about driving than anyone, until I started to point out all his faults. When he passed he gave me a gallon bottle of Southern Comfort, because he genuinely felt he had learnt more from doing his test than he would have ever learnt otherwise.

[Dougella]

^ Ooh I was right!

[choirgirl]

Yes, I'm a nervous driver. I get lost easily (in general), and I worry about not getting into the right lane in time and just a lot of things going on at once and finding somewhere to park, and successfully parking without looking like a dick. I only feel comfortable doing a familiar route. That said, when I picked my dad up from Heathrow, the relatively quiet roads made all the difference. I don't think I've driven since then. I find my parking skills go down more than my driving skills when I haven't driven for a bit. I do get stressed by people beeping, or even the fear that they will. I only really like driving somewhere new with my sister, so she can tell me where I'm going.

[Hayman]

I enjoy motoring in general as I've always had a strong interest in motoring and travel.

What I've grown to dislike more and more over the 20 years I've been driving is some of the 'aggressive' and 'assertive' nature of an increasing amount of other drivers. It's something I've seen a very notable increase of, post-Covid. Much to the point where I do actually worry when my near 70-year old father is out and about driving...and he is a competent driver but certainly starting to 'lose his touch' amongst more modern, complicated road layouts.

When it comes to parking, I openly admit I'm the sort of person who parks miles away from other vehicles as I'm protective of my own car.

[Sunrise]

I'm seriously considering giving up driving for the sole reason that my car has died, but I don't feel comfortable enough driving anything else.

I've even been trying to find the same model as my old one, but as it's 19 years old and automatic that's proving quite difficult as there's very few left and those that are still about seem to be complete wrecks. I'm not even sure if I would be comfortable with that though.

The thought of driving something else is making me very anxious. For a start modern cars feel like space ships to me, I really don't think I could cope with one. I feel like I would 100% either kill someone, or at the very least cause a considerable amount of damage to some nice old lady's garden wall. And I don't want either of those things on my conscience.

This is probably quite irrational, right? Is it one of those situations where you need to throw caution to the wind and just do it? It feels like there's a lot of very serious risks involved. I was fine with the old car, never had any sort of accident, but anything else is definitely a disaster waiting to happen.

Normal people don't think like this, do they?

[Mr. Nobody]

^
Yes,..well at least, I do,
I've only had 3 cars since starting driving and that was about 30 years ago,
I tend to get quite comfortable with the car I've got and end up paying silly money to keep getting it through it's MOT,
I've had to drive very different cars and mainly vans for work and it always feels really odd and uncomfortable,

Once, I had to drive 400 miles and due to circumstances had to jump straight in a car I've never driven before for the journey
Didn't have a chance to adjust the seat or try and familiarise myself with all the controls,..it was so awkward and annoying!

Cars are getting a lot safer now though,.so, if you do manage to change to a new car, chances are it'll be a lot safer and easier to drive than the last one.

[Sunrise]

I kept my old car going far longer than most people probably would have and spent far more than it was worth maintaining it towards the end, but I felt so comfortable driving it. I know comfort zones are generally a bad thing, but I didn't feel in any way anxious driving that car. I could just get in the drivers seat and go without a second thought, it just felt natural. I didn't really feel at all nervous driving it.

I was going to go and look at a car the other day, but I didn't in the end because I started really panicking about it. I convinced myself that if I tried to drive something unfamiliar it would end in disaster. It's stupid really as it shouldn't be that much different surely. I worked myself up into a right state about it.

Ironically my old car with it's dodgy brakes and broken suspension was basically a death trap towards the end and I was probably in a lot more danger driving that thing than I would be in something newer, that although unfamiliar would probably be much less likely to randomly fall to bits and kill me.

[Oddity]

I know what you mean about feeling comfortable, you don't need to think about where anything is. When you get into another car it feels so weird, even if you've setup everything. Took me a while to full adjust from an early 2000s Golf to a 2010 Civic, and when I drove the Golf again to sell it, it felt even more alien

Do you have access to any other cars to try out? Maybe we could help you find something that's similar

[biscuits]

I can relate, Sunrise! When my old car decided it wanted to be scrap, I found it hard to get a new car.

Every other car felt wrong. The gear stick in my old car was higher up than in all the other cars so I'd be fumbling around in the wrong place to change gear.

My legs are short, so it took me ages to find a car that I could comfortably sit in without my cheek being pressed up against the windscreen!

Going for a test drive felt really strange. You get so used to your old car and everything becomes a muscle memory.

I'm used to my current car now though