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8th February 2022, 21:46
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^/^^/^^^ Thank you so much for your supportive messages, it's very much appreciated, and I'm so very sorry to hear that you've also lost loved ones. The fact that the people most dear to us can't be around forever has got to be one of the suckiest things about this life!
I feel that in the space of a couple of days, I've gone from desperately wanting to keep my mum here whatever it takes, to hoping that she will drift off peacefully into her final sleep as it's just far too painful watching someone I love suffer. She's pretty much sleeping most of the time now, and isn't eating or drinking so I don't think it will be long now. From an SA perspective, I've had various carers coming in and out of the house and haven't once felt self conscious. I guess when the mind has far bigger things to focus on there isn't the time or space to think about me. 
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8th February 2022, 22:59
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^^^
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9th February 2022, 00:14
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
I'm really glad you managed to get in to see your Mum, Consolida. It shouldn't have been so hard. I hope you are able to get her home next week.
My grandad passed away in hospital during the first lockdown and no one was able to be there. It upsets me now to think about, even though he wouldn't have been aware of it. And I know that he'd probably be quite philosophical about it and tell me not to worry. He'd probably say something about it only being a moment in his life and we were there for plenty others. Still.
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9th February 2022, 01:24
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Thank you newbs, Biscuits, Chess&Junkfood, The Devil, Probably, and Appear x
@Appear - I'm so sorry that your grandad passed away during the first lockdown and for you not to have been allowed to visit him must have made it all the more upsetting  It's certainly true though about all the times you were there for your grandad over the years being far more important than the end bit. Sadly, too many people are seldom ever there for the ones they purport to love when they are living but then make the effort for the loved ones funeral when they are gone. Personally, I'd far rather have people there for me while I'm alive and well and can actually enjoy their presence. My mum's been at home for over a week now receiving palliative care as she didn't want to end her days in hospital. I'm so thankful that I'm able to be with her now, as painful as it is, instead of spending my days constantly pleading with the Hospital to let me see her.
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11th February 2022, 11:03
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Losing hope. I feel like for self improvement something more than hope is needed to put in the work. I even have to push myself to go gym today.
At work since my department has been quiet I work in one of the hotels restaurants and the manager is passive aggressive towards me. I’m shy and awkward.
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11th February 2022, 12:24
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
@Percy - Thank you for your feedback x
More of a Basement topic... @nothing_special_2501 - Try not to lose hope as I'm sure your search for a therapist that suits you will eventually prove successful. I think you'll find that with a little guidance and support you'll start to feel more motivated to attempt to confront some of your issues and achieve some of your goals. Your manager sounds horrible. Passive aggression is such a sneaky underhand form of bullying that it can be very difficult to call the perpetrator out about their behaviour. Standing up to such people is easier said then done when you are shy and lack confidence, but always remember that the actions of this person are not a reflection of you but of him! 
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12th February 2022, 06:31
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Quote:
 I'm so sorry about your mum. I hope your looking after yourself too though Quote:
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12th February 2022, 06:36
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
I'm so tired
 Had to catch a bus to Chichester and back yesterday for an appointment which meant a change at Midhurst. 25mins late going to Midhurst (ok). On the way back I got to the bus stop at 5.40 was due at 5.50 and the bus didn't turn up till 7pm!!! I have never been so bloody cold. Got back to where I live and still had a 20/25 min walk. So didn't get home till 8pm. And they wonder why ppl don't use public transport! And the cat has been at me since 5am to be fed 
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12th February 2022, 19:06
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
@ Mo - Oh no, that sounded like quite a trek for a relatively short distance.
Don't you have your car anymore? Sorry, if I've remembered that incorrectly and/or am being too nosy! Feeling mentally and emotionally drained. I popped out to the shops this afternoon for some groceries while my husband sat with my mum (my son drove me as I was feeling so tired and fragile) and ended up blubbing in the car as we passed by places with memories of happier times. I was scared I might start crying in the supermarket but I just about managed to hold it together and fortunately there were still a few people wearing face masks so I didn't feel too conspicuous wearing mine.
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12th February 2022, 21:11
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Quote:
Quote:
Oh someone hit my car (whilst stationary) was going to get rid but S who owns one of the sanctuaries I volunteer at insisted she send her friend R over to have a look at it. So he's replaced a front wing, the wheel/tyre and straightened the edge of the side of the bumper. It now just has to pass it's MOT.... Quote:
yeah I know how it feels. A good cry isn't a bad thing though.
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16th February 2022, 13:32
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^ Thank you Mellie x
I hope you are keeping well since leaving hospital Feeling very emotional. An old childhood friend that I haven't seen for years came over with her elderly mother to see my mum who managed to wake up for just a few minutes. Of course, as soon as one person started to well up we were all in floods of tears. So many happy long ago memories have come flooding back. Before leaving my childhood friend insisted that I must visit her some time and being the sweet person that she is I know she was being genuine with her offer, but of course it's unlikely to ever happen because that's just the way it is...
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16th February 2022, 15:23
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Hi
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16th February 2022, 18:20
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Frustrated. I hate when people pick up on your social Q’s, acknowledge they are aware of them then proceed to ignore them. Eg, “I can see you need space but please tell me why you need space?†or “I can sense you don’t want to talk much, if you never want to talk again just sayâ€. FU. Can’t stand being boxed in.
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16th February 2022, 21:34
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
I've found that if I go out of my way to be nice, I'm a tw*t. But if I'm quiet and keep to myself and to an extent my anxiety gets the better of me, then I'm a "c*nt/b@stard" [or add other expletive].
I haven't found a way out of this dilemma, and I'm not sure I ever will.
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16th February 2022, 22:01
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^ You sound like you're being way too hard on yourself, Limey. I can tell from your many posts on the forum that you aren't any of those expletives! I don't know if there's a way out of the dilemma apart from continuing to be yourself and
 to anyone else who has a problem with that. Feeling like a nervous wreck tonight Just as I think things can't get any worse they always do. It looks like my husband is suffering from food poisoning after eating bread that was still raw and doughy in the middle. Consequently, I'm on my own all night looking after my mum after pretty much sitting here all day. I'm okay on my own, sort of, just a little scared that she will take a sudden turn for the worse in the night. My son has been an absolute rock but I sent him home to bed. I was also incredibly shaky when the carers called round and started to have horrible SA thoughts. I'm sure they noticed that I was a little...odd. Of all the rotten times for SA to rear its ugly head! 
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How's it going?
