How is everyone feeling? (31) - Page 351

Clementine · #**10501** 16th June 2017, 09:10

Tired of being me. Tired of rapidly changing moods that I don't seem to have any control over. Tired of nobody being able to understand me because nothing about me makes any sense.

Quicksand · #**10502** 16th June 2017, 09:52

tf thats over with. another hour to go and some stupid noise of sorts from under-the-influence male attendants opposite me hoose singing an old CR song at the bench and the cement man on the wall above. no idea what thats about but its all really odd. gtg out again around 12 as next door woman with kid not coping with it. door slamming sends out a message. i thought huntleyburn would have taught her that before she got out of there. sigh.

Mr. Nobody · #**10503** 16th June 2017, 10:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by Animal mother

Like I need to move to Scotland to escape this heat!! I hate the British anyway so I'm a shoe in.

I had my heating on this morning,.. brrr

Jam · #**10504** 16th June 2017, 13:34

So bored

Cepaea24 · #**10505** 16th June 2017, 13:40

I'm so sick, it's 20 degrees out and I'm shivering with a fever

was going to go to an anxiety meet up group tomorrow so I hope this is one of those 24 hour bugs...

kirbycrackle · #**10506** 16th June 2017, 14:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carbon(cycle)Fodder

I had my heating on this morning,.. brrr

Heating?? Are you sure?

michelle06 · #**10507** 16th June 2017, 14:26

Somewhat disconnected from reality. I wish I was back in Barcelona where I was invisible and could pretend to be someone other than myself. At least I know I can do it, but now I just want to go away again!

Sphinx · #**10508** 16th June 2017, 14:36

Tired, and feeling sad about my breakup. At least that's marginally better than feeling numb/nothing.

Merritt · #**10509** 16th June 2017, 15:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clementine

Tired of being me. Tired of rapidly changing moods that I don't seem to have any control over. Tired of nobody being able to understand me because nothing about me makes any sense.

Ditto. Just got back from a really shitty follow up appointment where I had therapy, that just left me feeling angry and completely misunderstood. Wondering if this is going to be another dead end. What's the ****ing point in bothering, I'm not a real person and nothing is going to accommodate that.

Clementine · #**10510** 16th June 2017, 15:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merritt

Ditto. Just got back from a really shitty follow up appointment where I had therapy, that just left me feeling angry and completely misunderstood. Wondering if this is going to be another dead end. What's the ****ing point in bothering, I'm not a real person and nothing is going to accommodate that.

I'm sorry you're feeling that way

I know those feelings, I don't think we're not real though, sometimes I think we're actually a bit too real. We feel and experience more than the average person, that's just my opinion of course.

I think our sense of self/self worth is quite severely broken. I also think that that sense of worth is the foundation on which everything else is built, and that no matter how much effort we put into building ourselves up, if we don't work on that foundation then our efforts are always going to crumble. I think any therapy we have needs to be focusing on that before anything else, otherwise something is always going to give.

I know what I'm trying to say but I don't think I'm doing a very good job of it at all, sorry.

Mr. Nobody · #**10511** 16th June 2017, 16:28

Annoyed and a bit disheartened,
Just found out that my sister and her children are sharing a holiday cottage with my older brother and his girlfriend,
Seems stuff like this happens a lot,.. I never get included in round-robin e-mails or group texts about family get-togethers,
It***8217;s left me feeling quite depressed and somehow blaming myself for not being included,
It***8217;s not like there***8217;s anything wrong with me, apparently I***8217;m just not socially outgoing enough to be included,

This happens a lot in work, but I never thought my family would be an issue,. But I think this is the third or fourth year in a row I***8217;ve been excluded.

gonna' have to see the bright side to pick myself up again.

Mo34 · #**10512** 16th June 2017, 17:27

Too tired, too hot and too period-ey (?is that a word).

Clementine · #**10513** 16th June 2017, 21:06

Surprisingly strong

newbs16 · #**10514** 16th June 2017, 21:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clementine

Surprisingly strong

Sounds good Clem

Clementine · #**10515** 16th June 2017, 21:19

Yeeaah

Quicksand · #**10516** 16th June 2017, 21:36

I would like to know if anyone here feels that someone loudly DIY hammering next door the minute you get back from being out all day around 9pm is undermining your confidence in society and anti-social in nature? It would help shape what I have to say to housing in a couple of weeks. Totally pissed off with that woman on the end. I know she'll do it all weekend because she doesnt consider it to be affecting others around her. Total bitch from hell. Her lettter had said that she'd stayed quiet indoors for 12 years so why has it started again now? Sorry. Anyhoo, taking in a musical event tom evening slightly nervous but have to try. Book festival seemed fine and I was in control. Phew.

Merritt · #**10517** 16th June 2017, 22:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clementine

I'm sorry you're feeling that way

I know those feelings, I don't think we're not real though, sometimes I think we're actually a bit too real. We feel and experience more than the average person, that's just my opinion of course.

I think our sense of self/self worth is quite severely broken. I also think that that sense of worth is the foundation on which everything else is built, and that no matter how much effort we put into building ourselves up, if we don't work on that foundation then our efforts are always going to crumble. I think any therapy we have needs to be focusing on that before anything else, otherwise something is always going to give.

I know what I'm trying to say but I don't think I'm doing a very good job of it at all, sorry.

I'm genuinely feeling more and more like I'm not a real person, or a valid person, or something like that. I feel guilty for existing, and like I'm trespassing in the world whenever I go beyond my front door (and a lot of the time I'm indoors too)

I got the impression today that they're reluctant to even continue to offer me therapy, and that what they think I need is just to expose myself more to life and take small risks. But I feel like I don't have a life... not just in the way people usually say it, but that I literally have no lifeforce, no wants, no ambition, I'm empty. Something fundamental didn't grow inside me when it should have. It's like you have to already have achieved becoming a person before anything they can help you with even begins to be applicable, they can only help people who have enough substance to apply the help to. I'm left feeling like I'm not even a broken thing they can help fix, because I'm not even a thing. This is at a place that treats people with personality disorders, and to be met with this sort of response is like... what, do I not fall under any personality disorder? None of them? Do I not even have a personality? Maybe that's why no one can ever really tell me what's wrong, or give me a clear diagnosis, because that sort of thing is for actual people, and for me it's like asking what's the colour of nothing?

Sorry to rant, just feeling very lost today.

girlinterrupted · #**10518** 16th June 2017, 23:17

Resigned I suppose,or too sleepy to feel sad? Meh who knows anymore.

to all feel crappy,wish I had something useful to say but my brain is barely forming this much tonight,feels like trying to think through mud-soaked cotton wool

girlinterrupted · #**10519** 17th June 2017, 02:39

@Darth Sidious I`m sorry you`re feeling that way,horrible isn`t it

I am SO hot even with the windows open and fan on,but the noise of the fan is getting on my nerves so can`t sleep yet,which means I keep going dizzy. OCD is through the roof too for a couple of reasons I won`t say in case they`re triggering for anyone else. I`m feeling a bit sorry for myself all in all

,still fresh day today hopefully it`s a little better.

newbs16 · #**10520** 17th June 2017, 05:35

I feel a bit upset, starting to realise that anxiety has taken a massive hold over my life and things won't change. I thought I was getting better but clearly I fall to pieces very easily and am just a weird, shy, uncomfortable girl

. Please don't quote.

Silent Treatment · #**10521** 17th June 2017, 14:17

^^

try not to be too self - critical as it doesn't help..sometimes we get better at our own pace..!

kirbycrackle · #**10522** 17th June 2017, 14:26

^^^ I don't agree with any of that misses newbs. Do you need me to kick you up the bum? Stop being so harsh on yourself. You do a lot of good, positive stuff too!

newbs16 · #**10523** 17th June 2017, 14:33

^^^ thanks biscuits
^^ Maybe you're right silent treatment

cheers for the comment.
^ I was just moaning as usual

Quicksand · #**10524** 17th June 2017, 18:30

clem - thats great ur feeling stronger well done.

carbon - ur not alone being excluded from family life its part of the territory sadly. u could suggest mtg up for a coffee with anyone you feel close to in it to start things off again - or one of them come round to your house. just an adea.

one more day to go - well officially its over tonight but bloody hell that was totally out of control in the square last night from what i saw on the bus. seemed to be worse than previous years. its all down to who the standard bearer is and which attendants are chosen whether its a loud raucous affair or sedate and happy. sigh.

kirbycrackle · #**10525** 17th June 2017, 18:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darth Sidious

Lately I have a persistent feeling of hollowness and loneliness, really annoying.

Sorry you're feeling low. How is the art group going? Have you been again?

Professor Willow · #**10526** 17th June 2017, 20:53

That feeling of being surrounded by people yet still feeling alone.
Wish I had something in common with these people but I don't :/

BusterBluth · #**10527** 17th June 2017, 21:16

like I'm being embraced by the human torch

girlinterrupted · #**10528** 17th June 2017, 21:44

^ Tad humid isn`t it? I`m off to sit in a cold bath,seeing as I have no working shower

Quicksand · #**10529** 18th June 2017, 10:06

so like after a crap common riding weekend its ok for 8 yr old boy to go running around the block at 4am in the morning this morning? he's done it previous summers but around 6am. its no wonder police have been involved there and that was not me instigating it. really these parents need to look to themselves and how their parenting their kids if they even THINK about sending in another complaint about me. Housing will be told where to go under no uncertain terms. Furious. I seem to have a week's grace which must mean theyre starting to get it - after 15 years - its not necessarily me or i would have been hauled in next week under disgrace of behaviour. What exactly was wrong that weekend two weekends ago sitting out my front with a glass of wine when all that crap was going on out the back? Again, small minded bigoted individuals trying to drive a depressed person out of the housing street. i even got a confused look from the takeaway delivery guy yest cos he knew i was done in. he hovered outside my door for a good few minutes before going away. not nice at all.

Clementine · #**10530** 18th June 2017, 10:07

^