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  #22531  
Old 16th May 2021, 00:42
anewyear anewyear is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Kooky - is that assignments?
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  #22532  
Old 16th May 2021, 21:02
T T is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Does anyone feel at times that you can't connect to people lately i've been feeling like this for a few weeks now just getting me down abit!
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  #22533  
Old 16th May 2021, 23:10
Tembo Tembo is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ Yes, certainly. Especially in recent months. Including people I am fairly close to.

I hope you feel a better about it soon T. Is it because you haven't been socialising as much due to obvious reasons?
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  #22534  
Old 17th May 2021, 00:00
TheLostSoul TheLostSoul is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

So fed up. No progress after 10 years of this shit. No progress after meds or therapy. The hardest thing to admit is that I've not done all I can to change things, I've sat here and let it continue and pitied myself.

At this point I'm hopelessly waiting for them to produce a drug as effective as benzos that's safe to take every day long term. Can't see any other way out of this.
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  #22535  
Old 17th May 2021, 00:37
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ It sounds like you really have been trying , it's really hard when you feel like you're still not improving (I know that feeling well). There are different approaches you can try, different types of therapy maybe. Don't give up but don't be too hard on yourself either.
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  #22536  
Old 17th May 2021, 00:44
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I agree with dougella, the most important thing is to never give up. If it doesn't work, move on and try something else.
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  #22537  
Old 17th May 2021, 02:36
Tembo Tembo is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Completely hopeless. Would be good if just one aspect of my life had some sort of hope. I wish I had someone really close to I could talk about this, but no one wants to listen, not that I’m particularly close to anyone anyway.

It’s 1.30am and my alarm goes off at 6. My week is already off to a bad start.
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  #22538  
Old 17th May 2021, 11:17
Counterpoint Counterpoint is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Sorry you're feeling that way @Tembo. There are definitely people here who would want to listen! But I understand that feeling of not having somebody really close to share things with. I have felt that a lot myself recently.

I had a rough night too. I often use use those youtube relaxation videos if I can't sleep, as I hate that feeling of knowing the alarm is going to go off only a few hours later.

Try not to lose heart @TheLostSoul. Sometimes when things seem really bleak it can be worth just changing a few small things that you know are within your control (eg. exercise, eating well, keeping a diary, try to change some bad habits), and forgetting the bigger things until you are in a better place to deal with them. I've got at least 20 years of this shit and I'm still ticking, although that might not sound encouraging, there is always hope even if we can't see it, and most importantly you are not alone in this.
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  #22539  
Old 17th May 2021, 15:09
Tubbs Tubbs is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Just sort of low-level(?) depressed of late, for no good reason. Been trying to weather the storm as it were, wait for it to pass, but it won't shift. 😪
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  #22540  
Old 17th May 2021, 15:12
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^Tell it to bugger off tubbs.
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  #22541  
Old 17th May 2021, 15:17
Tubbs Tubbs is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

hehe. Bugger orf, depression! 😬😬😬
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  #22542  
Old 17th May 2021, 15:27
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Poke it with a big stick if it refuses to budge
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  #22543  
Old 18th May 2021, 16:07
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Somewhat Meh. Just had a counselling session. Which was fine. But a lot of the conversation was around work. How unenthusiastic I am about moving across to a new social activities team. Came home and saw a work email (hadn't signed out from yesterday) and gave it a read, can see my new line manager (politely) putting the pressure on the manager of my old/current team. I can see me being stuck with doing mindfulness which I had never intended to do it was kind of shoved my way due to lockdown. I'm annoyed? disappointed? that one of the new workers has bagged the out and about /walking group for my area (esp as they live out of area). In my probations and supervisions (with my original manager) this is what I had expressed an interest in and had been told i'd be able to be a part of actively developing. Course we restructured and that all went out the window.
Some of the time I wan't to leave but need the money and need to hang onto the opportunity I suppose as I've got nothing much else going for me.

Hate being stuck/trapped/whatever and unable to do the things I'd have liked in life. There's not really much to look forward to. SA, dead end job in a sector I'm not sure I want to be in (if i'm ever able to work properly again i.e full time rather than permitted work), old age, loneliness, poverty and death.
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  #22544  
Old 18th May 2021, 16:39
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ Hmm, it's annoying when things like that happen and you're stuck doing something you're not happy with rather than the thing you were originally expecting to be doing. If the subject comes up you could point out that you live in the area and you were previously talking about being in charge of the walking group etc, incase it makes them think about it more. They might need more than one person, who knows!
Also the fact that you've been doing some permitted work for a while might lead to something else you'd enjoy more somewhere else, you shouldn't have to stay somewhere if you find you're not really happy. (I now practicalities mean you probably can't just leave immediately though, obviously.)
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  #22545  
Old 18th May 2021, 17:37
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^^ I'm sorry you are feeling 'Meh' Mo

You've come such a long way over the last few years - quite frankly your perseverance and determination are an inspiration - that I am sure you will get to where you would like to be in the end. You certainly deserve it.

It sucks that you missed out on being in charge of the walking group, especially as you'd already said that you were interested and actually live in the area. Like Dougella says, maybe they will eventually need another person to help run it, or perhaps you'll be able to take over if the lady has time off, and then who knows. Or something may come up that suits you even better. Once you've got your foot in the door, so to speak, another one usually opens that may lead you on to better things. Sorry I made that up, but hopefully you get the general gist

For what it's worth, I think you're awesome Mo and better things are yet to come
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  #22546  
Old 18th May 2021, 18:52
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Thanks Dougella, Consolida and Nanuq.

Think i'm just having a down day with all the changes at work. My line manager has put in my supervision notes about me looking at outdoor stuff like an allotment group or linking in with community groups. Not sure she's aware that the geographic team have already linked into a local conservation project - albeit it's about them/their volunteers running it rather than us. Will have to see. I do have my foot in the door and other opportunities may arise. Though whether I can ever work more outside of permitted work rules remains to be seen.

I think it's that, all the changes/moving teams again. But it's also listening to a lot of the young(er) volunteers we have at sanctuaries who are doing Animal management, or going of to uni. One older girl was telling us about her degree at Reading Uni, Wildlife and conservation and what she plans to do - wildlife landscaping etc. etc.. I suppose, whilst i'm happy for them, it leaves me feeling sad about my own life and what I could have achieved if circumstances had been different. Instead I'm stuck with the options of Mental health work, Support work or failing both of those care work. It's frustrating as I have a Agricultural collage literally 2 miles from my front door but could never afford to do any of the things I'd like to. In terms of living costs.

I can safely say, although the organisation I work for is amazing and they do treat their staff generally really well, I don't really feel any passion or even much enthusiasm for what I do currently or the idea of support or care work. I'm just doing it cause it feels like theirs nothing else. I do realise that lots of ppl do jobs that they hate but I guess as I've got nothing else important in my life - family, children, a home etc etc.. work is the one area I feel I should have some fulfilment from.

Sorry I'm just having a moany old ramble!
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  #22547  
Old 19th May 2021, 01:26
TheLostSoul TheLostSoul is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

To chihuahua, Brother Mouzone and Beethoven - the words of encouragement are really appreciated!
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  #22548  
Old 19th May 2021, 11:57
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Feeling so worried and panicky

I noticed this morning when my cat jumped off the bed that she was a little wobbly on her feet. I've never seen her like this before, she's usually very agile for an 8 year old. I found her as a stray kitten scavenging in the bins for food scraps. When she went to be spayed the Vet bodged things up resulting in her having a kidney removed. At one stage they talked about putting her to sleep. But, by some miracle, she pulled through. I'm totally besotted with my little tortoiseshell girl and couldn't bare for something to be seriously wrong with her especially on top of everything else. When everything else in life seems bleak she never fails to make me smile. She's back on the bed now and as I didn't sleep a wink all night because of my leg pain I'm going to snuggle up with her and hope that things will be alright.
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  #22549  
Old 19th May 2021, 18:06
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLostSoul
To chihuahua, Brother Mouzone and Beethoven - the words of encouragement are really appreciated!
He is a chihuahua, well spotted and you're welcome.
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  #22550  
Old 19th May 2021, 18:09
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^^ I hope your cat is ok Consolida, she sounds lovely
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  #22551  
Old 19th May 2021, 22:05
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLostSoul
To chihuahua, Brother Mouzone and Beethoven - the words of encouragement are really appreciated!
You're welcome.
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  #22552  
Old 20th May 2021, 03:10
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dougella
^^ I hope your cat is ok Consolida, she sounds lovely
Thank you. She is lovely, but I'm very biased
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  #22553  
Old 20th May 2021, 08:36
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Feeling absolutely dreadful. Not slept at all.
My cat is much worse this morning and keeps falling over. I'm so scared I'm going to lose her
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  #22554  
Old 21st May 2021, 15:13
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Still feeling so desperately worried.

Took my cat to the Vets again yesterday where she was given an anti-dizziness injection and some antibiotics. After sleeping all night on my bed, and all of the morning, I hoped she might be a little better today, but no such luck. She keeps falling over like a drunkard, and it's so distressing to see. It's back to the Vet's later. The Vet talked about the possibility of a brain scan if things don't improve, but if I start thinking too much about the possible outcome of that I shall start to panic big time
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  #22555  
Old 21st May 2021, 17:20
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Sorry to hear about your cat Consolida

I know Nanuq has posted about her dog having the same thing, so perhaps it will just take a little time for her to get better. I know that doesn't help lessen your anxiety when your going through it though.
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  #22556  
Old 21st May 2021, 17:50
Tubbs Tubbs is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

@Consolida I really hope it's treatable and your tortie will be okay. My cats are my best friends, I'd be beside myself if anything happened to them. I have everything crossed for you.
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  #22557  
Old 21st May 2021, 19:50
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Consolida, I'm so sorry to hear that your gorgeous tortie is unwell

Could it be an ear infection? Let's hope the antibiotics help to clear it all up. Did the vet say how long it would take for them to take effect?
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  #22558  
Old 21st May 2021, 23:30
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I'm all a

The s'morning I went to dry my hair and there was this big wet patch on the carpet in the corner of my bedroom. I really couldn't work out where it had come from. No drinks or water/vases etc. So I concluded maybe it was Harvey (my cat) though it didn't smell of pee. Anyways went to sanctuary and then in the afternoon had to do various stuff so didn't get home till after 3pm and I noticed a wet patch on my living room carpet, not as big but odd. Had a while of chilling as I felt tired, got up and realised the wet patch had got bigger. For the life of me couldn't work it out. Only later did I realise that there was a massive wet patch like really massive of water in the corner of my kitchen and opened the cupboard where my boiler is to find it well I would say dripping but leaking would be more accurate. So obviously being an idiot I went into panic mode.

I finally got onto the landlord emergency repair number and was in the midst of trying to explain when someone rang the bell. I opened the door asked whoever it was if they could hang on and carried on with my phonecall. Seemingly my downstairs neighbour had reported a leak as it was coming through his ceiling so the guy I shut my front door on was the plumber :/
We did eventually sort it out and he found my stop cock and turned the water off (I had tried but couldn't find it - which to be fair he had a big problem finding it too). He was really nice though which helped.

So am sitting waiting on the heating/gas ppl at the min to look at the boiler. As I have no water.
Not the best evening. I'm not equipped to deal with such things, i'm really not
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  #22559  
Old 21st May 2021, 23:33
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ Oh no! That would send me into an absolute panic aswell. Is someone coming tomorrow to fix the boiler?
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  #22560  
Old 21st May 2021, 23:39
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Well someone should be coming from the gas heating company to look at it, don't know what they'll do about it, or if they can fix it right now. I guess just maybe to isolate it so I can have the water back on

They said within the hour though it's probably been an hour or more now already. Might be a long night
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