How is everyone feeling? (31)

[Mo34]

I'm feeling very awake. Doesn't bode well for sleeping tonight.
Did my first full (non blended) group since before covid and 1st non blended by myself.
I was fine once everyone was there but was super stressed out at the beginning, with people turning up that I didn't know, trying to orientate myself with the room and kitchen.
And them facilitate a group for 90 mins, wiped me out a bit.
Wish I could be happy or see it as an achievement but somehow don't. I guess cause even if on the surface I managed to wing it. I know that truthfully I'm crap and probably out of my depth.

[Dougella]

^ Well done for doing that Mo, it is an achievement even if you found it really hard.

[Percy]

Yeah well done Mo

Sad aboutTom Parker

[Mo34]

^ Thanks Dougella / Percy.

[Rocket Spud]

Awful heartburn.. ? Coming in waves. Ugh. I'd just had my breakfast and about to enjoy a tea

[Alone.]

Helpless, I can’t really stick to my words. Anxiety does stop me from doing some stuff I want to do.

[Rocket Spud]

My life is such a ****ing mess.

[biscuits]

^

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

My life is such a ****ing mess.

Chin up Rocket Spud.

[Dougella]

^^^ Things can get better

[biscuits]

Originally Posted by nothing_special_2501

Helpless, I can’t really stick to my words. Anxiety does stop me from doing some stuff I want to do.

Same - I have bursts of optimism.

What specifically would you like to do? Perhaps we can help to break it down into the smaller steps to make it achievable

[Alone.]

Originally Posted by biscuits

Same - I have bursts of optimism.

What specifically would you like to do? Perhaps we can help to break it down into the smaller steps to make it achievable

I was just thinking that I met my aunt. She took me shopping one day, more window shopping, though we brought some necklaces. I was thinking of going shopping yesterday to buy some new clothes and shoes but just couldn't push myself to go shopping in a busy place, was too anxious. I also feel online shopping doesn't cut it as you don't know how things would fit on your body. She was also speaking a lot about rich people on that day.

The best I could do yesterday was to buy some food at my local Tesco's at 10pm. My councillor was asking if I could do the things my aunt was speaking of and I thought I could but anxiety takes over.

I wonder if I have some BDD as some family members and peers use to pick on my appearance growing up. I feel I am visually oriented though.

As I came back home I saw my mum as a bit entitled. We live in a council house but unlike my aunt she doesn't need to turn the heating off, yet she would think her house isn't that good. My aunt also seemed to maybe have adhd. But now I am thinking those thoughts were projection because I am so afraid to just go outside if I don't need to. I am also feeling down that my holiday has stopped and since my department isn't busy I have to work in one of the hotels restaurants. I feel I don't like my job. When it's busy it takes over my hours and then I feel like my boss can be infantilising, certain colleagues are not nice as well. But it isn't the worst.

I feel to help myself I have to accept my shortcomings, my anxiety. It seems simple but the step just seems so hard to take.

[Alone.]

Unsatisfied, but if I said this in real life I feel I would just be told to deal with it. Which is true advice but I have been doing that for too long and nothing, I am not exaggerating, changes. So it's time for change.

[biscuits]

^^ shopping on a Saturday is bahhh. Everyone is in the way. I'm in everyone's way. It's okay if you know exactly what you want. I also don't like queuing unless necessary. If there's no choice but to go on a Saturday then I'll go really early or later on in the day when it's quieter.

^ making a big change can be amazing and life changing. It's challenging of course and best to think of how to prepare or plan how to make sure you commit to it.

[Rocket Spud]

Originally Posted by biscuits

^

Originally Posted by Percy

Chin up Rocket Spud.

Originally Posted by Dougella

^^^ Things can get better

Thanks.

I made a couple of phone calls today and have moved things forward a little. Well, in some direction at least

[Professor Willow]

I'm feeling like I need to just up sticks and go as far away from my family as possible, maybe even create a new identity.
I'm sick and tired of how toxic my family have become, if my grandfather was alive now he would go ballistic.

[Rocket Spud]

^ Do you think you're capable of doing that? Is there anything keeping you where you are?


Better for finally writing up and submitting an econsult thing. The ailment has only been an issue for the past year! I'm well aware this could be something that would've been better checked sooner but that's good 'ol apathy for ya!

[Consolida]

I'm feeling so unhappy and have been in tears tonight
I'm sure my mum wouldn't have wanted a relative, who hadn't bothered to see her for the last 2 years of her life, upsetting me 5 weeks after her passing over where to scatter her ashes but that's families for you!

No wonder I'm mental.

[Dougella]

^ I think if the relative hadn't seen her in the last two years of her life then they have no right to have an opinion on where her ashes should be scattered. And they certainly shouldn't be upsetting you about it.

[Consolida]

^ But the relative is causing me to feel as if I'm massively letting my mum down if I don't fulfil what she is now telling me so I feel, yet again, like my thoughts and feelings don't matter. I just want to do the right thing for my mum, whatever that is.

I'm so very weary of life

[newbs16]

^ You and your little family knew your mother best, you shouldn't let this person who clearly didn't care that much when your mother was alive to get in to your head.

They should keep their nose out of your business and you carry on with what you think is best, not what they want you to do.

Sent from my SM-A530F using Tapatalk

[Dougella]

^^ If it was that important I think your Mum would have told you. It sounds more like this relative's wishes than your Mum's, to be honest.

[Rocket Spud]

I'm not feeling too bad. I've just been for a blood test, which went fine. I may have some good news tomorrow regarding the work situ, so that's promising. And i'm committing myself to a family thing on Saturday evening.

[Dougella]

^ Well done, sounds like you're making progress

[Rocket Spud]

Yeah, thanks, watch this space...

[Consolida]

^ It's good to hear that you are feeling more positive Rocket Spud


I'm feeling apprehensive. I'm going to be chatting to my birth half sister this evening but although we've talked on the phone a number of times before I still feel nervous. She doesn't feel like a sibling (whatever that feels like) but neither is she a friend in the 'normal' sense of the word. However, she's a lot more than an online acquaintance. I can't think of an appropriate word
I'm starting to wonder if we might even meet up someday. She knows that I suffer with social anxiety so that shouldn't be too much of an issue but I've got it into my head that I need to look more presentable first as I don't want to be an instant disappointment. This will require me to lose some significant weight. But the only thing that brings me comfort these days is food. Quite frankly it would be less daunting to climb Mount Everest

[Quietman]

Feeling slightly sad chosen the co op funeral care for my moms funeral also feeling quite nervous trying to think of new volunteering opportunities to try and get me out of the house

[Consolida]

^ I'm sorry to hear about your mum
Getting out of the house sounds like a good idea and I'm sure you will find something that will suit you re volunteering. One day at a time

[Quietman]

Thanks Consolida, I was also sorry to hear about your mum too, it’s always hard to lose a loved one especially a parent.

[choirgirl]

^Agreed.