Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Professor Willow]

^ hope you're feeling better soon Clementine

John Cooper Clark is coming to Yeovil in a few weeks!
I wonder if I can get hold of a ticket, would love to see him perform again

[Merritt]

There's a beauty parlour type place round the corner from me, and I can't shake the suspicion that it's a brothel.

The Evidence: It's nearly 8pm and I just saw that it's open. Who pays for a go on a sunbed in the evening? You can't see anything from the entrance, just a cramped little waiting area and counter, with a few beauty products with massive colourful price tags that scream 'YES WE ARE DEFINITELY A LEGITIMATE BUSINESS'. The waiting area is dimly lit with what looks like mood lighting; literally no other shop I've ever been in looks like that. There's often a guy stood outside, not really doing anything. You can't see in any of the windows. It's right next to a takeaway, possibly to mask the musky scent of illicit rumpo.

It's definitely a brothel, isn't it.

[Schmosby]

There's only one way to find out

[Still Painfully Shy]

Just how different the weather is today compared to yesterday. Yesterday it was like a beautiful Spring day, and today it's heavy snow!

[Pandapop]

Wow been working out since half 7 and still not finished. Just eating breakfast and I already feel the high from exercise.

[Oddity]

^

I'm definitely definitely probably going to workout today too

[Fantastical]

Panicking about Saturday evening. Been invited to a cocktail party. About eight people going I think, of whom I know three or four. I think it would probably be good for me to go and I have been looking forward to it, but now it's closer and scarier and I'm so tempted to cancel.

[Pandapop]

Originally Posted by Oddity

^

I'm definitely definitely probably going to workout to day too

Lol and have You...?

[Bambos]

I'm thinking about Doris, in my current incapacitated state I think she might just be able to take me down.

[Oddity]

Originally Posted by Pandapop

Lol and have You...?

Once breakfast is settled I'm determined to maybe do it

[Generation Erm]

It was so windy walking the dog.

[Pandapop]

Originally Posted by Oddity

Once breakfast is settled I'm determined to maybe do it

Don't be a lazy bum Mr.

[Merritt]

^ I wonder if that's a boy thing? I was fascinated by snails in the garden as a nipper. Still am, really. I get a warm feeling in my heart when it's been raining and I see one slithering along the outside of my window.

Snails: a great bunch of lads.

[Jam]

Originally Posted by Victoria Lucas

There was a giant African land snail at my son's nursery today. It was so gross. He loved it though and kept wanting to touch it. I do hope he doesn't ask for one as a pet.

African snail? Im assuming they're like regular snails, but have to travel 12 miles a day for water.

[Indigo_]

Originally Posted by Victoria Lucas

There was a giant African land snail at my son's nursery today. It was so gross. He loved it though and kept wanting to touch it. I do hope he doesn't ask for one as a pet.

I have about ten of them if you want me to mail one up to you I really like them, but I'm weird like that.

Originally Posted by Clementine

I had one of those giant snails once, a neighbour gave it to me. He was called Cedric. One day I picked him up and he just sort of poured out of his shell into a puddle of black, stinking goo I don't know if it was old or if I did something wrong. Poor Cedric. I love snails.

This is indeed how they go, they ****ing stink Poor Eric went the same way. I have too many to name now

[Professor Willow]

Beginning to wonder if there is any point in going to my counsellor.
I pay £35 to sit there for an hour and talk about all the things depressing me, I've been doing this for months and to be honest nothing has changed, I'm still lonely, depressed, anxious and hate myself.
I did try the whole positive thinking thing and all that led to was me getting emotionally hurt and now I find it even harder to trust people than I did before.
Cannot help but think I'd be better off to spend £35 in the pub getting hammered once a week, it's what everyone else seems to do and they're a damn site happier than me.

[Appear]

^ What type of counselling is it? It may just be that it isn't quite suited to you.

^^ Degree level study absolutely isn't beyond you. It may take a bit of time to get into the swing of studying and writing essays if it's not something you've done for a while, but you'd get there, I guarantee it. I don't know if you've seen already, but the OU do 'Access Modules' which act as little pre-degree tasters for various subjects - they might be a good choice if you don't quite have the confidence to commit to something bigger at the moment. The OU level 1 modules do start quite softly though, as they're specifically designed for those who may have been out education for a while or who don't yet have all of skills or experience usually expected for degree level study.

'Ope that meeting goes well later.

[Omar Little]

Originally Posted by Clementine

I'm a bit annoyed that I got up early because the scaffolders were coming but they haven't turned up. It does me good to be up and busy though, I usually struggle to find the motivation.

I'm meeting my son's girlfriend later so bit nervous about that but I'm surprisingly upbeat at the moment.

I've been trying to think about the future a bit, it's terrifying but maybe there's still something I could do. I don't know.
I thought about looking into studying something with the OU or similar, something to keep my brain active. I have such little confidence in myself though and I don't know if degree level study is beyond me. That's partly why I never considered university years ago, I always felt too dumb and was scared I'd be out of my depth.
One thing I am brilliant at is managing to talk myself out of anything remotely positive

Degree level study is not beyond you. I imagine you probably want to do something like literature, writing, philosophy or history? If so, you'd walk it in.
If you've not been in education for a while, you might want to get your beak wet with a foundation course or something first though, just to acclimatise to all that would be required of you.

[Omar Little]

I did not see your post before posting, Appear. Our first sentences were almost exactly the same...

[Omar Little]

I'm having some ****ed up nightmares of late.
Three nights ago I stpped in quicksand and went right under. I woke up dripping with sweat.
Two nights ago a big black snake as long as a street chased me up the high street. Again, I woke up dripping with sweat.
Then last night a big, broad-shouldered, rough-looking woman with tattoos on her knuckles forced me into a toilet cubicle, where she pulled down my pants and said in a gravelly voice "Well, it's not much to work with..." I took offence to that, but I wasn't going anywhere, I was into it at that point, if you catch my drift. She went on "Aye, it'll do for a small bite" then bit the head clean off in one big bite. Again, I woke up dripping with sweat, but unlike the other two nights, my heart was pounding and what little she said she had to work with was, you know...

[Pandapop]

I need a massage all over, oh my.

[Appear]

^^ Your first sentence is classier and more restrained, like an understated but sleek black dress. Mine, with my contraction and an 'absolutely', is more a Mel B style leopard print leotard. We're both right though.

Reading through dream three made me wish I did my knot tying badge in Cub Scouts (for my legs).

[Oddity]

^^ I volunteer for this

[Omar Little]

^^I actually burped as I read the bit about being 'classier', so...

It was like she was biting off some tough toffee.
Google tells me that all three dreams have very deep-rooted fears and insecurities attached.
Ah well.

[Fantastical]

About whether to try and see a counsellor. So expensive though.

[Undecided]

Originally Posted by D1662

Beginning to wonder if there is any point in going to my counsellor.
I pay £35 to sit there for an hour and talk about all the things depressing me, I've been doing this for months and to be honest nothing has changed, I'm still lonely, depressed, anxious and hate myself.
I did try the whole positive thinking thing and all that led to was me getting emotionally hurt and now I find it even harder to trust people than I did before.
Cannot help but think I'd be better off to spend £35 in the pub getting hammered once a week, it's what everyone else seems to do and they're a damn site happier than me.

I've had counselling before and feel like it didn't make much of a difference either. It tends to be the first thing people suggest(along with medication) when you mention that you're suffering from depression or anxiety. I feel that some people would benefit much more from receiving practical help to change their situation. Have you ever looked into befriending services? It's something I'd be interested in trying but it was never something I was aware of, or was mentioned, when I was accessing mental health services and now that I'm not I wouldn't be able to get a referral.

It could be helpful to you. You'd have someone to go out with and do social stuff you were interested in, plus it could help you improve your interaction skills. I can understand the idea feeling too "weird" for some, but just a suggestion anyway.

[Appear]

Originally Posted by Clementine

Oh thanks so much, Appear and Omar, that really means a lot.
I'm going to have a look online and request a prospectus, see what's available. I think one of those access modules would definitely be the best way to start. I suppose it all depends on what financial help I could get, there's also the very real worry of my depression/being mentally screwed up potentially ****ing it all up but I can't carry on going through my entire life not even trying to help myself.

That's great! Definitely worth a good look. The OU allow pre-arranged extensions for most assignments and on some modules you can 'bank' assessed pieces of work you've already completed if you want to defer study of the module, so there should be options if you do go through a bit of a rough patch with it.

(Sorry for sounding a bit like I'm on the OU's payroll. I wish I were.)

[Fantastical]

I've achieved nothing today. I've say crying over my uni books. Falling even further behind.

At work but can't engage with people. And people are avoiding me.

Got to walk home and hip hurts.

Had enough. Can't cope.

Sorry spamming the shit out of SAUK this week. Got nowhere else to turn to.

[Schmosby]

I'm quite impressed with my laptop, I unplugged it this morning and left it running a script while I was at work. It's still at 60% charge after 10 hours.

[newbs16]

If should stay in the house alone tomorrow, or go and see my family. Sometimes I enjoy my own company, I don't get to be alone very often.

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