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26th October 2020, 22:27
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ Every people??
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26th October 2020, 23:13
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^
 what's the matter Skittles?
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27th October 2020, 00:13
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Can’t say what’s going on but I have seen a side to me I didn’t like this evening and totally flipped and scared my house mate. A lot of people are pissing me off right now
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27th October 2020, 20:50
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
I'm using you all as my free therapy. I'm sure it's getting annoying. I think I need to find an actual therapist at some point, but I need to deal with a LOT of stuff and it's all in a big mess and I need to lay it out on the table and go, help! So I need someone who knows what they're doing with LGBT issues, which narrows the field considerably, but also is able to deal with other stuff.
I've got a lot of unprocessed/semi-processed stuff. I think there's some half-processed grief stuff in there, there's all sorts. I seem to process something until I'm functional and then go, that'll do! Let's get on with things now. And that's if I know I have something to process! I didn't know I had a lot of school stuff to process for example. We're talking 30 years of accumulated shit to deal with at this point. To think I was delusional enough to think I was sort of ok. Well, I'm not exactly happy but you know, this is fine, I'm not super stressed or depressed most of the time, I'm sometimes happy, so that'll do for now. And man, the whole shame/self-hatred thing? That is some insidious, pervasive shit, turning up in all sorts of places you wouldn't expect. There I was, not even worrying about it. It's a mind****. 
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27th October 2020, 21:20
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ You can self refer
https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/ot...onSearch/10008 See what's available in your postcode area. Be detailed (as much as is reasonable) when filling in the form, so that they can allocate you to the right service or advise of a more suitable resource to contact.
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27th October 2020, 21:39
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^Thanks. I assumed I'd be paying for it myself. Also, no CBT, for the love of God! Not for all this mess. Will have to see what they have to offer, if anything.
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28th October 2020, 17:20
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^ Aw, it's so great to talk to a GP like that isn't it! They should all be like that, and the younger ones seem to often be a bit better,but unfortunately there are still quite a few who are quite frankly rubbish with mental health and other things too.
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28th October 2020, 17:46
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
wondering why they want to ring me about disease that I have - I'm just a carrier for anti trypsin deficiency, only reason I can think is my dad may of told them I'm smoking. I probably won't stop it, I'm addicted to it now.
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28th October 2020, 19:14
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
^^^^Wow! That sounds amazing!
My problems with procrastination are threefold, owing to anxiety, neurological deficits, and, probably deeper psychological stuff around self-doubt, self-sabotage, self-loathing. Fun times. So it's a psychological AND a neurological problem. The procrastination advice was always moralistic, and that never helped me. It did mention self-sabotage, and I was like, why would I be doing that, and anyway, often I'm really trying! It was only when I read about ADHD and executive function that I started to think about things differently. And yes, I am procrastinating by writing this comment. Of course I am.
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28th October 2020, 23:50
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Ugh - bloody jobhunting. It's so depressing. I'm going off the delivery driver thing. God, if only I'd got a grip on my anxiety in my 20s blah blah blah, I really painted myself into a corner. I do intend to do the self-employment thing properly at some point but I just don't have the headspace for it at present to earn real money. I just need to be able to get another decent wodge of savings together in the next year or so, then maybe I can finally resume my life! At least I know I self-sabotage now!
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29th October 2020, 13:08
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Thanks. I'm not earning much at the moment and I need to get the savings going again. Wish I'd been more single-minded earlier in life but all I can do now is get focused again.
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29th October 2020, 13:46
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Shared houses. (I will stop myself from going on a housing rant.) I didn't mind them when I was in them for about six and a half years, but once I moved back home I couldn't face them again. It was a sort of lose lose situation. It's like, you can have more freedom and being yourself in some ways, but more security and overall more being yourself at home. I think it's the strain of being a normal person, being around people all the time, that does my head in. You have to work all the time to pay for stuff (not unreasonable) and then again at home. Too much peopling.
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29th October 2020, 14:23
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Had a phone interview for a job on Tuesday which ended promisingly with them saying they’d be in touch about arranging a trial shift for next week. Haven’t heard back from them and now I have my current job asking about my availability for next week, plus we already have some house viewings booked for Monday. Why can’t the job hunting process be simplified and less obtuse?!
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