Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Pine]

I don't know, I'm trying to "scooch", as in move a small amount. One of my CBT instructor people says I should do it in certain ways but some of them are difficult. I must accept the negatives though, always a mixed bag.

[Mo34]

How do I have so much bloody stuff

[Alone.]

I’m so codependent

[Percy]

Originally Posted by hellotiger

Don’t buy the bongos. You don’t need the bongos. There’s nowhere to put the bongos. You’ll play them for a half an hour and then realise you can’t play. You’ll watch a YouTube video about it, realise it’s way harder than you thought and give up. You won’t be a naturally gifted bongo wizard. People will not flock to the sound of your drumming. Don’t buy the bongos.

Replace bongos with whatever instrument/ tool/ hobby I’ve just seen, and the amount of times I’ve had this conversation with myself is silly.

I've had this same convetsation with myself.

[choirgirl]

^^^I nearly bought a ukelele during lockdown.

[Pine]

I do not like how in some of the zoom things if there's too many people I can't say anything and sometimes that's the very thing that we're talking about lol… That is awkward but getting past that threshold feels like it may always be more difficult, if there is more than three people or something.

[Alone.]

I watched some footage in an Amazon warehouse. It didn't seem too bad but would depress me. You know why? I saw people my age that I think I might find it hard to get on with due to being shy, interaction difficulties. I would probably be an easy target, maybe my mindset is wrong. Also I might be bad at it as it focuses more on speed than quality of work.

This type of job, similar jobs seem to be the most accessible option if I were to quit university. This type of job suits someone who is better at fitting in with others.

[Deer]

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

Keep up the walking, it's good for you! I find it easier to have a set local walk (of 30-45 mins) where you don't have to think about where you're going because you've done it so often, and you can just pop your earphone in, walk out your front door, and go.

Where you looking at adventuring? I've only really been (in Europe) to Romania

Aye, the hairs on top of my head are lengthening. I really need to cut it!

Yes. I'm pretty inconsistent with walking the dog. Some days I just feel too out of sorts, the idea of someone stopping to talk to me fills me with dread. I don't like the idea of becoming familiar with people in my area either. I just imagine I'll be highlighted for being abit odd and always on my own.

Earphones works wonders when I go outside like. Can't seem to buy any that don't breakdown though.

Just let it grow, man. I let mine grow and it's down to the lower end of my neck now. Think I'll keep it this way until I go grey

I haven't ventured outside of UK since I was 19 so this will be a first for me too.
I was looking at the Euro rail. I was going to travel to the Scandinavian countries but decided against that for a simpler option. I think I'm going to go to Spain and Portugal to do adventure stuff. Cliff diving, horse trekking, hire a scooter, hiking, surfing etc. And finish off at Amsterdam for the last few days of my travels.

I haven't quite got the wheels in motion yet so I'm already doubting if I'll get to do it. I know what I'm like. I'm so unreliable lol determined to do it though.

[Mo34]

I'm an idiot.

[Dougella]

^ Why do you say that?

[Percy]

^^No you aren't

[Deer]

^^^ Get singing while I'm practising guitar :p we can start something haha

[choirgirl]

I've always identified with the three sisters in Chekhov. And now I am like them - I never did go back to Moscow.

[Deer]

Are you Russian?

[Mellie]

I ate too many calories today. Keep comfort eating.

[Dougella]

^ But before you weren't eating much were you, so maybe you need some extra

[choirgirl]

^^^No, I've never been to Moscow and you don't need to be Russian to have a Chekhovian flavour to your life; you just have to be unable to get it together. I am one of three sisters though!

[Mellie]

True dougella but put on weight!

[Alone.]

Codependency is so painful

[Deer]

Mental illness- two jigsaws scrambled together with a few pieces missing.

[Deer]

Originally Posted by choirgirl

^^^No, I've never been to Moscow and you don't need to be Russian to have a Chekhovian flavour to your life; you just have to be unable to get it together. I am one of three sisters though!

What is the main theme running through his works like, or isn't there one? I have read Dostoevsky and one Turgenev novel. That's about as far as my Russian Literature as went so far.

[choirgirl]

Christ man, you've really put me on the spot. I'm not a Chekhov expert, I've hardly read any of the short stories and haven't been near the plays in a decade until I thought of Three Sisters today. I just always liked the plays a lot; there's something very real life about them (apart from the fact that someone usually gets shot). The characters show how ridiculous people are, but in a sort of humane way? There's a sort of tragicomic absurd vibe going on. Someone take over this please, help! I've never actually seen one performed irl; I wouldn't mind if theatre was more in my budget.

Yes, I think my Russian literature knowledge is the same as yours. Always meant to read more. Where's Moksha?

[Deer]

oh sorry, I did read Solzhenitsyin too. Not sure I finished that though. I can remember it being quite interesting but I'd already read quite a few stories on personal experiences of concentration camps and I don't think I got that he shared anything that was different. Actually I preferred Dostoevsky's House of the Dead.

I did put you on the spot didn't I? If it was the other way round, you'd probably not receive a response for a week haha

Nothing can describe the human experience quite like a good piece of lit.

[choirgirl]

I read that too. Not read House of the Dead. Think I've only read Notes and Crime and Punishment, both of which I liked a lot. I've started/read bits of a few others, but I'm very bad with long novels. I've tasted far more books than I've actually read. And I seem to have lost the desire to read fiction/literature. Hopefully it will return at some point.

[Deer]

Yes! Same here. I find myself looking at my bookshelf every night annoyed that I have so much to read about but so little will to want to read at the moment.

I think I a little fed up of having life explained to me I guess. I think when I read alot, it was because I was looking for answers but now I don't have that yearning like I used to. It's almost like reading doesn't serve any purpose at the moment.

Well strange thing is, Solzhenitsyn's novel I partly read was just a short story. House of the Dead was pretty lengthy. Dostoevsky had that brilliance of writing though. You look at some of his works and wonder how on earth you will get through it but you (or Me rather) do and with alot of ease.

I will always have a fondness for Dostoevsky's work though. He is yet to be surpassed in my humble experience of reading. I haven't read anything that has even came near to the satisfaction I got from reading his works.

Yeah, I think I'm just sort of fed up of having secondhand experiences of life. Its been that way too long and I think now I want to experiment and have my own experiences.

[choirgirl]

Yes, I think part of it was searching for answers, and part of it was it was just fun to be in someone else's life. I was the same as a child.

[Deer]

And what takes up your time these days?

[Alone.]

Why am I so angry?

[Pine]

I had a bad dream that people were being vacuum packed into boxes on a shipping truck. Then I could hear their breathing and then that's when I woke up after hearing the measured breathing. Probably from seeing pictures of freezer trucks outside of hospitals.

[Mellie]

I’m anxious about my appointment later. Got to go doctors for a learning difficulty test which I don’t think have but will probably fail it cos I’m stupid and a slow learner.