Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Alone.]

Now I feel I live a bit in the past as I'm thinking of a past colleague who I thought was my friend but turned out to ghost me and was manipulative but at the time I chose to ignore the signs cause I was so desperate to be liked.

At least I know to take the signs of a fake friend more seriously now.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Kooky Monster

^ Oh I am well aware, they make sure I know!

As does mine.

[Deer]

It was never sharing that was the problem.the problem was who gets to call the shots.

What would Buddha be like in the Bronx? The Krays in wilderness surrounded by bears? Hitler in art school and Mussolini was tall.

Mysteries are only as good as they last.

The truth of the matter is a contradiction.

Blind moles, cave dwelling crocs. Microbes that conquer space. Trees communicate to one another. Other worlds exist. I scratch my ass when it's itchy whilst grandma lies in hospital hooked up to wires just breathing.

Love quickly fades for anyone who has been disconnected from the operating room.

What act is completely selfless?

Bin Laden was concerned with climate change.

People would be angry if I said I liked him but not if I said I liked Obama or Che Guevara.

Pedophiles shouldn't be punished causes a stir too.

A member of mental health team once said to me. I have to deal with all sorts. What like? Oh, you know, we have to visit pedophiles. That must be tough? Yeah but I'm surprised they haven't killed themselves, you know?

Afterwards I felt angry and understanding, and sad.

Most serious crimes are committed by the most pitiful
of people. Charles Manson- bless him he thinks he's going to be a pop star.. Ted Bundy- poor lad thinks he's god's gift to women. Oh and poor Dahmer can't stand being alone. The Krays bless them, got very hurt because some fella in the pub called him a puff.

Evil was once healthy.

At what point is the body responsible for what the mind does?

I'd die for my dog. I'm just not sure I have the energy to.

The problem is that advice these days is a dead end. Delivered like a prescription. Just read and repeat. Simple.

People who don't think telling people who obsessively think how to think.

I hate how alien I feel just because of slight altercations here and there.

Even the best bee keepers can't keep all the bees from stinging.

We are emotionally attached to probability.

People thought that the Dalai Lama stating he had never heard of self hate as beacon of light on the dregs of western culture. I'd say he's lived a sheltered life.

Some people are who they think they are, others who think they are who people tell them they are. The rest linger uncomfortably in-between.

We are told how to live without being asked what we think.

A good friendship is a feather to the breeze. A bad friendship feels like a contractual agreement.

Would I have the same thoughts if I wasn't mentally ill? Is the thoughts the problem or is it the lack of strength to carry them?

[Deer]

Some days I'm split in two but other days in can be in 3s, 4s, 5s, 6s, 7s.

Is being thirsty for water in a desert wishful thinking?

Mental illness is the endless yearning for the highly possible turned highly improbable.

[Deer]

Bought three DVD's today. Iceman, Dogman and Birds of Passage. Anyone seen any of them?

Hopefully I can get a smoke as well and that's me sorted for the night

[Deer]

Originally Posted by Mellie

Thinking how generous my friends and relatives are, already got up to £320 for charity I’m raising money for. Hoping to get to at least £500 maybe more then that :-) feels good helping people out.

Have you posted your donation page?

[newbs16]

^ if I was to ever win the lottery, I would love to move to a quiet place and only see my family or the food delivery person.

[Merritt]

I've got a PIP form that needs sending back by the 28th. I just know I'll keep putting it off and end up panicking and doing it on Christmas day.

I hate how I have to will a really shitty mood on myself for forms and assessments, otherwise I'll downplay things and give the impression everything's tickety-boo.

[Jen.]

Have you tried just closing your curtains once the sun has set? That's what most people do.

[Dougella]

^ I already made the suggestion of blackout curtains!

[Jen.]

Once you've closed your curtains they have no idea what you're doing. Why not just close them once it starts to get dark every day and then try to forget everything that's going on outside?

[Tonkin]

Originally Posted by indignant misanthrope

These damn toxic neighbours, they monitor my place all through the day and night and spot any routines or habits that I might have

Is there anyone you can speak to about these thoughts you're having?

[Tonkin]

That's a shame. I hope this changes and you can get help with this.

[Percy]

Wondering if i should get my cat a flippity fish.

[Jen.]

I got one for my two earlier this year and they were never really interested in it. HOWEVER, it came with two sachets of catnip to put inside it (they look like tea bags) and the cats absolutely love them! It must be a different type of nip than the normal stuff, or maybe just much stronger, but they go crazy over those bags

[Percy]

I tried growing catnip during the summer with little success

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Jen.

I got one for my two earlier this year and they were never really interested in it. HOWEVER, it came with two sachets of catnip to put inside it (they look like tea bags) and the cats absolutely love them! It must be a different type of nip than the normal stuff, or maybe just much stronger, but they go crazy over those bags

Everything is more interesting when catnip is involved.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Kooky Monster

^ Oooh I've been thinking about getting mine one of them. Don't know if it'd scare them though as they seem a bit big.

I'm sure they'll be fine.

[Mellie]

yes I have deer its in the lounge section and also on my signature.

[choirgirl]

I've had cabin fever for over a year. Good for avoidance though.

[choirgirl]

Pushing through anxiety isn't always a good idea.

Also, how do you know when to give yourself a break because you'll damage yourself otherwise and when that's just the avoidance talking? So hard to know.

[Rocket Spud]

^ Give yourself a break when: you've made some progress? When you aren't making progress and need to rethink your approach? When you begin to think about banging your head against the wall?

What are you trying to attempt anyway?

[Percy]

Originally Posted by choirgirl

Pushing through anxiety isn't always a good idea.

Also, how do you know when to give yourself a break because you'll damage yourself otherwise and when that's just the avoidance talking? So hard to know.

That's when intuition comes in. You'll know when you're pushing too hard because your mind will tell you.

[Deer]

Originally Posted by choirgirl

Pushing through anxiety isn't always a good idea.

Also, how do you know when to give yourself a break because you'll damage yourself otherwise and when that's just the avoidance talking? So hard to know.

Yes, it really is. I like that you are thinking along those lines though. I think asking questions like that can expell all the crap that's not useful to us on an intellectual level. You sort of feel your way through it.

I'm a slow learner. I need hitting over the head ten times before I realise. Ha! So for me its just from the gradual familiarity with mind. I have a strong reaction to modes of thinking that I now know lead to circular fretting.

What I've noticed too is that I can quickly get lulled by my immediate reaction or assumption. Almost to tired to tend to the garden so to speak. Quite surprising watching how easily my mind gets stuff completely wrong.

And these questions are what show how important it is for mental health support to be tailored, flexible, not means to an end based. It should help and guide through exploring not with the aim focused singularly on gettin 'better'.

I think 'getting better' is too hasty an approach. Trying to run before you can walk. In sufferer, they are bound to feel like that, especially in earlier years of struggle where it is all new and terrifying.

Yeah, to answer your question in a literal sense. I don't think you can know unless you have someone in your life who has had a level of insight that helps you. Apart from learning for others Id say it just helps not to think of it all in a life or death basis. Each avenue you go down will give you a little more certainty in some little way.

Less rigidity the better and a nothing has to be set in stone approach.

[Deer]

Fear of being disliked is to forbid yourself from feeling ill will towards another.

[Alone.]

Quote

[choirgirl]

Hm. I've just been thinking of past things and looking forward to future things. Maybe I am too impatient. I don't trust my own mind. I think it makes sense to just push myself and then if I break at some point, I'll review. Because there is no other real choice. If I swim, I swim. If I don't, at least I'll know.

[Professor Willow]

Yay tier 3 from Boxing day

[choirgirl]

Maunderings:

It's bizarre to me that I have been thrust into some pre-feminist era spinster role. Make yourself useful, take up as little space as possible. That sort of thing. I really didn't see this coming. I wish I'd been paying closer attention to what was going on during the noughties, and obviously, worked a lot harder and had something to show for it. I haven't been socialised for this. It's weird as hell. It is interesting how old ideas and new ones juxtapose, but when something from the history books creeps back to bite you in the arse, it's a shock. Everyone is 'liberal' nowadays, but somehow this old social role has come back. Ofc, rich or adventurous spinsters had a good time or got shit done. I do not get shit done. That's why I'm in this mess.

On being long term single and childfree in a glamorous way: it seems like you are supposed to be one of life's nomadic adventurers, always meeting new people, moving around, living happily with housemates (no!), having many lovers, doing interesting things. I admire them too, but it's never been me. I've generally assumed I would settle down by myself when I eventually got my shit together. At least initially. And probably for ever. It's odd you're not allowed to care about stability if you're not part of a couple or a parent. But I feel I care more about stability than a lot of people because I get so easily stressed.

[Toxic]

I've had to spend £150 on dog food just so I can get it delivered in time before he runs out. (he has special prescription stuff for food allergies that dont exist in a shop or a vets?)

He won't be remotely thankful, I'll still be trying to retrieve my shoes out of his mouth.