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  #25711  
Old 5th April 2022, 12:29
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Downstairs has had her fb over for two nights running and i'm wondering when he's gonna **** off - he must have the day off or something today cos he left early yesterday. He usually only stays the night and it's sporadic at that, like once every fortnight. I'm so used to how quiet things are when it's just her, it's quite jarring hearing his louder voice. I feel a lot more self conscious as well, though, hopefully they don't pay me any attention.
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  #25712  
Old 5th April 2022, 13:04
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ What's an fb?
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  #25713  
Old 5th April 2022, 13:24
Jam do Bronx Jam do Bronx is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ Friends with benefits.
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  #25714  
Old 5th April 2022, 14:00
Your Mum Your Mum is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Very sad to hear that Dot Cotton from off of EastEnders has died.

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  #25715  
Old 5th April 2022, 14:51
Professor Willow Professor Willow is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Being a nice person doesn't get you liked or loved, it gets you used.
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  #25716  
Old 5th April 2022, 14:51
Professor Willow Professor Willow is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dougella
^ What's an fb?
F*ck buddy
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  #25717  
Old 5th April 2022, 15:00
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^^^RIP June Brown (Dot Cotton)
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  #25718  
Old 5th April 2022, 15:18
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

RIP Dot Cotton
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  #25719  
Old 5th April 2022, 16:31
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ It's sad about Dot Cotton.

It's exactly 5 weeks today since my mum passed away. I can't believe how quickly the time passes. I somehow expected the world to come to a stop afterwards but it just keeps on going. It's so true about time waiting for no one.

I haven't heard back from the undertakers yet regarding collecting the remains. In some ways I don't want to hear back yet as I'm afraid. I want my mum back but not like that. However, I'm also worrying that they may have lost them although I guess that's unlikely. My husband says he can give the undertakers a call to set my mind at rest but I don't think it will. Nothing will.
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  #25720  
Old 5th April 2022, 20:36
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

It would be nice if e ink displays replace paper posters in public. Obviously lcd screen seem to replace paper adverts but for less stimulating things like a bus schedule e ink seems better as it could blend into the background whilst being able to show updated info unlike paper.

https://youtu.be/5wF3U17-rTU

Surprisingly, compared to a standard screen I wonder if this type of display is still in its infancy.
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  #25721  
Old 6th April 2022, 11:22
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^^ Are you planning to scatter her ashes somewhere significant Consolida? Or keep them, some people do like to keep them.
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  #25722  
Old 6th April 2022, 11:49
Scurrilous Rumour Scurrilous Rumour is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^

Years ago I was in a crematorium waiting room and they had a display case full of ornaments and jewellery on the wall and a big advertisement offering you the chance to have your recently deceased relative's ashes incorporated into any of the items in the display case. I remember thinking my deceased relative would have burst out laughing and said "if you imagine for one moment that I want to be made into an ornament you can think again...."

Personally, I thought it was a bit odd, but I guess lots of people like it. I suppose everyone has different ways of remembering the dead.
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  #25723  
Old 6th April 2022, 14:19
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^^ Dougella, my mum wanted me to scatter the ashes in a countryside setting but never told me anywhere very specific. However, according to a relative, she was very specific about the place when chatting to them a number of years ago. A couple of weeks ago I went to look at this place and it wasn't as nice as I'd envisioned and is somewhere that has absolutely no significance to me although it holds long ago memories for my mum's relative. It's already clear that this relative won't be happy with me if I search for a different place. This issue has been causing me A LOT of stress on top of the grief so I'm thinking I may do nothing for now and just hold on to the ashes for a year. Accept they are in a bio-degradable tube which I'm worrying may disintegrate if I wait a year? The undertaker (who actually phoned today to say they are ready to be picked up) is advising me to buy an urn off the internet (the ones I've just come across look tacky and hideous) so that they can transfer the ashes because I don't want to attempt that myself and end up with what's left of my beloved mum on the living room floor.

^ Scurrilous Rumour, I think my mother would have had the same reaction to your deceased relative. She certainly wouldn't have told me to incorporate her ashes into a glass paper weight or a tattoo, another popular option. But, like you say, everyone likes to remember loved ones differently. Each to their own and all that. I know that if there is anyone to miss me then they can do whatever they want to do with my ashes. I've told my husband and son to flush me down the toilet.
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  #25724  
Old 6th April 2022, 15:16
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^^ Ah yes that's where it becomes tricky doesn't it, if the person didn't ask for their ashes to be scattered in a specific place and then relatives start having different opinions on where it should be! It sounds like a good idea to perhaps have them put in an urn and think about it for a while.
I don't think your husband and son would want to flush you down the toilet! I'm sure they'd probably scatter you in a nice garden or the grounds of a nice stately home
I don't think I'd want to be a paperweight either, that would be an odd thing to inherit.
"What's this object?"
"Oh that's just Auntie Dougella in a paperweight."
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  #25725  
Old 6th April 2022, 19:32
Quietman Quietman is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

All the good memories of my mom and that I have to try and start a new life and try to make friends it’s going to be incredibly hard as I’m 30 now and hardly go out
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  #25726  
Old 6th April 2022, 20:14
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ 30 is still pretty young. You can start with small steps. Do you work at the moment or do you do any kind of volunteering?
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  #25727  
Old 6th April 2022, 20:17
Quietman Quietman is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I did volunteer in a charity shop once but found it to be to much, I have also worked in the Royal Mail but with my disability it didn’t go too good anywhere where’s there’s people and things always go wrong I hardly leave the house these days and when I do my nerves are really bad
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  #25728  
Old 6th April 2022, 20:28
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ Charity shops can be a bit much, I found that too. Have you had any professional help or support with your anxiety? (Sorry if this is too many questions, don't feel you have to answer!)
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  #25729  
Old 6th April 2022, 20:32
Quietman Quietman is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I’m on citolopram and I’ve also had CBT sessions but I didn’t find the CBT helpful I understand how thoughts can affect our emotions but sometimes I think it’s more than thoughts that’s the problem, I was referred to the community mental health team but all they wanted to do was drug me up
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  #25730  
Old 6th April 2022, 20:46
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ Lots of people here have had similar experiences, including me! Good that you tried though. Hopefully you can find some more advice here and things that others have found helpful, or atleast those of us that understand.
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  #25731  
Old 7th April 2022, 01:21
3stacks 3stacks is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

How to stop putting people on a pedestal and thinking I'm not good enough for them

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  #25732  
Old 7th April 2022, 23:12
choirgirl choirgirl is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

One of my many delusions is wrongly thinking I'm a patient person. I'm not. I find it very hard to be productive and patient at the same time for years at a time. When I'm being patient I quite often just get lazy and depressed and distract myself instead of being productive. If I want the feeling of being productive I do/did projects that don't/didn't help towards moving out/financial/earning a decent enough living goals. I'm doing it now. Plus worries have a chance to creep in over and over because of the long wait. I need to have an end in sight that's quite close for that not to happen, and that's not realistic.

If I had it in me to be both productive and patient and patiently and productively find ways to manage workplace anxiety, find an occupation/type of workplace that I could do full time for years that would pay me enough to live off on my own, I could have done all that by my mid 30s like other women/other people here. And I would be less paranoid about destitution. My life could have started or resumed when I wasn't completely past it. I wasn't willing to compromise on everything in life, I always knew that I wanted something I really wanted. But I didn't put the work in to finding what I could cope with over the long term that would pay enough. Yes it would all have taken longer than expected, but there's nothing that could be done about that. I should have paid more attention to all the forces in society that were making things take longer. I really didn't put the work in, and have the confidence to just go for the minimal acceptable life to me, accept that might take a lot of effort and time to get there, and worry about building on that later.

Ugh I haven't got the job I applied for. And I'm still wondering what the **** to do job wise. It's all about what I can cope with that pays enough and isn't too unethical, that's all I care about now. It just kills me I've brought this on myself, not getting to become and adult and a person by my mid 30s. It's so depressing for so many reasons. It's not even one thing, it's just not getting to my life in time because I'm not good at handling long term goals. And because I'm depressed about not being able to go back in time and be more productive and handle my emotions better, I'm stuck in resentment about it and back in the same old cycle.
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  #25733  
Old 8th April 2022, 22:29
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Isn't anxiety a strange illness, feel fine, not anxious ten seconds later feel really anxious .

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  #25734  
Old 9th April 2022, 11:19
Quietman Quietman is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by newbs16
Isn't anxiety a strange illness, feel fine, not anxious ten seconds later feel really anxious .

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Anxiety is very tiring one minute I feel fine the next I’m anxious, even medication doesn’t help sometimes it just comes quickly on
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  #25735  
Old 11th April 2022, 13:16
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ That's quite normal, i'd say, and probably good practice.


Just wondering whether i'm gonna get a phone call about my blood test. They said Monday latest i'd hear anything, if anything needed to be addressed. I was hoping for a deficiency or something that could be corrected with an over the counter thing.
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  #25736  
Old 11th April 2022, 14:06
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I need to update my wardrobe. I don’t feel happy wearing what I have, I feel embarrassed. I think having a job where I wear uniform that I can wear from home as it’s smart but not distinctive has made me abandon my wardrobe since I have zero social life.

Feeling like this isn’t wrong I think but sometimes makes me feel guilty as I feel like I am being too much in my head. That’s why I probably feel extra nervous if I have a haircut and think I look better. I feel like I look good to myself, but I would feel like I’m not meant to feel that way and then caring about my appearance is greedy and I’m too much in my head.

But then I think I can be a visual person. I enjoy things that look good to me.
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  #25737  
Old 11th April 2022, 18:21
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Wondering what to say to someone at work who engaged me in convo today when I next see them (tomorrow). I hate having no social imagination.
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  #25738  
Old 11th April 2022, 19:17
SpectralOwls SpectralOwls is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I'm just wondering how the h*ck do parents have any time for anything?? My toddler nephew visits every now and then, and just the few hours that he's here I'm exhausted. I can't imagine how it'd be having him with you all day. And the thought of parents having more than one? two? THREE? How????
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  #25739  
Old 11th April 2022, 21:01
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

My lack of purpose. I'm just slaving away with a job I don't exactly like. Doing night shift this week and staying at the hotel as well.
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  #25740  
Old 11th April 2022, 23:35
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ Me too.
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