Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[3stacks]

How to stop putting people on a pedestal and thinking I'm not good enough for them

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[choirgirl]

One of my many delusions is wrongly thinking I'm a patient person. I'm not. I find it very hard to be productive and patient at the same time for years at a time. When I'm being patient I quite often just get lazy and depressed and distract myself instead of being productive. If I want the feeling of being productive I do/did projects that don't/didn't help towards moving out/financial/earning a decent enough living goals. I'm doing it now. Plus worries have a chance to creep in over and over because of the long wait. I need to have an end in sight that's quite close for that not to happen, and that's not realistic.

If I had it in me to be both productive and patient and patiently and productively find ways to manage workplace anxiety, find an occupation/type of workplace that I could do full time for years that would pay me enough to live off on my own, I could have done all that by my mid 30s like other women/other people here. And I would be less paranoid about destitution. My life could have started or resumed when I wasn't completely past it. I wasn't willing to compromise on everything in life, I always knew that I wanted something I really wanted. But I didn't put the work in to finding what I could cope with over the long term that would pay enough. Yes it would all have taken longer than expected, but there's nothing that could be done about that. I should have paid more attention to all the forces in society that were making things take longer. I really didn't put the work in, and have the confidence to just go for the minimal acceptable life to me, accept that might take a lot of effort and time to get there, and worry about building on that later.

Ugh I haven't got the job I applied for. And I'm still wondering what the **** to do job wise. It's all about what I can cope with that pays enough and isn't too unethical, that's all I care about now. It just kills me I've brought this on myself, not getting to become and adult and a person by my mid 30s. It's so depressing for so many reasons. It's not even one thing, it's just not getting to my life in time because I'm not good at handling long term goals. And because I'm depressed about not being able to go back in time and be more productive and handle my emotions better, I'm stuck in resentment about it and back in the same old cycle.

[newbs16]

Isn't anxiety a strange illness, feel fine, not anxious ten seconds later feel really anxious .

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[Quietman]

Originally Posted by newbs16

Isn't anxiety a strange illness, feel fine, not anxious ten seconds later feel really anxious .

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Anxiety is very tiring one minute I feel fine the next I’m anxious, even medication doesn’t help sometimes it just comes quickly on

[Rocket Spud]

^ That's quite normal, i'd say, and probably good practice.


Just wondering whether i'm gonna get a phone call about my blood test. They said Monday latest i'd hear anything, if anything needed to be addressed. I was hoping for a deficiency or something that could be corrected with an over the counter thing.

[Alone.]

I need to update my wardrobe. I don’t feel happy wearing what I have, I feel embarrassed. I think having a job where I wear uniform that I can wear from home as it’s smart but not distinctive has made me abandon my wardrobe since I have zero social life.

Feeling like this isn’t wrong I think but sometimes makes me feel guilty as I feel like I am being too much in my head. That’s why I probably feel extra nervous if I have a haircut and think I look better. I feel like I look good to myself, but I would feel like I’m not meant to feel that way and then caring about my appearance is greedy and I’m too much in my head.

But then I think I can be a visual person. I enjoy things that look good to me.

[limey123]

Wondering what to say to someone at work who engaged me in convo today when I next see them (tomorrow). I hate having no social imagination.

[SpectralOwls]

I'm just wondering how the h*ck do parents have any time for anything?? My toddler nephew visits every now and then, and just the few hours that he's here I'm exhausted. I can't imagine how it'd be having him with you all day. And the thought of parents having more than one? two? THREE? How????

[Alone.]

My lack of purpose. I'm just slaving away with a job I don't exactly like. Doing night shift this week and staying at the hotel as well.

[Dougella]

^ Me too.

[Dougella]

^ Yes, and men are more likely not to have a six pack I would think so that works out well for us lol.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by SpectralOwls

I'm just wondering how the h*ck do parents have any time for anything?? My toddler nephew visits every now and then, and just the few hours that he's here I'm exhausted. I can't imagine how it'd be having him with you all day. And the thought of parents having more than one? two? THREE? How????

Toddlers are exhausting

[Alone.]

I want to be rich

[Dougella]

^ What would that change?

[Alone.]

Not having to slave away at my job. This week I'm doing five days night shift where I stay at the hotel. Next week maybe the normal times. Money seems to provide more opportunity or freedom. I can buy more stuff I want. More access to better private therapy and counselling. Nicer house. It would be easier to meet family in Nigeria.

But with money comes more power so I have to be careful with how money makes me and not allow it to get to my head too much.

[Dougella]

^ What do you have to do during night shifts?

I guess it would depend on how you became rich. Whether you had a really well paying job or you inherited or won a lot of money. Having enough money does make things a lot easier.

[Alone.]

Be a waiter for the hotel I work at as it is housing Afghan refugees who are doing Ramadan.

[Dougella]

^Oh, well that's quite interesting.

[limey123]

Do you ever feel like there's one rule for you and a different rule for all other folk? For example, colleagues can sit listening to their headphones the livelong day while they work, but as soon as I do this, I'm told that I'm too quiet and why aren't I talking.

[Merritt]

Aww, Gilbert Gottfried has died He could have read the phone book in his voice and have you crying with laughter.

^Spoilered for rudeness.

[Quietman]

Originally Posted by limey123

Do you ever feel like there's one rule for you and a different rule for all other folk? For example, colleagues can sit listening to their headphones the livelong day while they work, but as soon as I do this, I'm told that I'm too quiet and why aren't I talking.

I get this too, once when I used to work at the Royal Mail they used to say can’t you talk or your quiet, also when volunteering at my local charity shop the manager who liked to talk couldn’t understand why I was so quiet and used to say I forget your here sometimes I wish people could be more understanding as not everyone wants to be a social butterfly also from my past experiences especially when working most of them were acting like 12 year old children I used to think I was back at school. These days I like to just be left to be by myself as I find it draining having the constant chatter.

I’m thinking the quote for my mother's memorial at the local crematorium is too much and I could create one in my back garden for a fraction of the price but I’m worried what people will think I just can’t decide.

[Rocket Spud]

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

Just wondering whether i'm gonna get a phone call about my blood test. They said Monday latest i'd hear anything, if anything needed to be addressed. I was hoping for a deficiency or something that could be corrected with an over the counter thing.

Got a text msg - "The result of your recent test is normal".

.... Wtf is it then! I wish i remembered what type of blood test it was. They took three phials, so it was probably more comprehensive than the one i had before where they only took one.

I should be pleased i suppose

[Rocket Spud]

^^ Probably. I keep meaning to do the online thing so i can do stuff like that. It'll come in handy for repeat prescriptions for my hay fever meds.

[Rocket Spud]

Did anyone see the moon this evening? It was (is still?) a good'un. I was driving and pulled over to take a picture, then looked at it and thought why do i bother, lol. Those sort of pics always look shite with camera phone.

[biscuits]

^ aw yeah, it looks beyoodiful. It's shining through my bedroom window and lighting up my bedroom as I lie in bed.

I'd love to have a telescope that takes pictures.

[Mike.Kzov]

Originally Posted by NeverWas

I could really use another pandemic.

You really want another one already?

[Alone.]

Originally Posted by biscuits

^ aw yeah, it looks beyoodiful. It's shining through my bedroom window and lighting up my bedroom as I lie in bed.

I'd love to have a telescope that takes pictures.

I just searched telescopic lens they are expensive.

[biscuits]

^ well, it would end up being one of those things that I’d been interested in for a bit and them it would sit in a cupboard forever more! I’ve always wanted to go to The Royal Observatory so maybe I will just do that when I’m next in London

[Rocket Spud]

Originally Posted by biscuits

^ aw yeah, it looks beyoodiful. It's shining through my bedroom window and lighting up my bedroom as I lie in bed.

I'd love to have a telescope that takes pictures.

Nice...... what were you wearing?

The moon looks fugly when up close, don't bother

Originally Posted by Lee S

Yeah, big and bright!

I saw it at dusk and it looked surreal, really took me aback.

[biscuits]

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

Nice...... what were you wearing?

nothing but cucumber slices and a smile

pyjamas, of course! My moons were all covered up with a top with the phases of the moon and some black leggings.