The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

[Mellie]

family and friends don't want to talk to me at the moment, I can flip too easily.

[Quietman]

Stay strong Mellie, your going through a bad patch but things will improve

[Mellie]

I wont talk to my dad he told staff that i need to grow up and i canthelp going unwell , i was people would stop calling me pathetic i cant help BEING MENTALLY UNWELLL

[Mellie]

I'm done after this sending me to mental health hospital won't help me this has ruined me.

[AuroraSky]

Really sorry you are going through dark times Mellie. Don't forget even if it doesn't always feel like it you have people that like you on Discord, of course none of us has medical qualifications to support you that way but if hospital gets very boring a bit of company can maybe help the time pass.

[biscuits]

Mellie, that all must cause so much confusion and make you terrified. I hope you find someone who helps you to feel safe and listened to.

What's your current situation?

[Percy]

Sorry you're having problems right now Mellie

[Quietman]

Struggling I’ve never felt this bad before but I’m having really strong urges to say goodnight it may seem pathetic but I just don’t want to live without my beloved mom she kept me going.

[Mellie]

Sorry you are struggling so much quietman, is there any close friends you can talk to. Aurorasky I have really not been good I would like to go back into chatroom but I left it

[Quietman]

I have no one now, so much pain life isn’t worth it

[Consolida]

^ You are going through a truly horrendous time at the moment but, in time, you'll find that the intense pain will start to ease just a little. Please try to stick around, Quietman, as I'm sure you have people that still love you and care about you. Also you are now a very much valued member of this forum so you can't go anywhere! x

[Quietman]

Thanks I’ll try to keep going as long as possible, it’s just so hard I guess it will take to adjust.

[Orwell20]

Originally Posted by Quietman

Struggling I’ve never felt this bad before but I’m having really strong urges to say goodnight it may seem pathetic but I just don’t want to live without my beloved mom she kept me going.

I’m very sorry Quietman. It doesn’t sound pathetic at all.

[Quietman]

Again really struggling, experiencing very strong urges to end my life, i'm trying to fight it but I feel like im loosing ive never felt this bad before.

[Consolida]

^ Do you have someone that you can talk to? A relative or a friend? Or perhaps even someone here on SAUK?
In the distant past, I called the Samaritans one night when I was really struggling and although the person at the other end of the line was only able to listen it did help me to get through to the morning when things looked a little less bleak.

Please continue to vent here if it helps, we all care.

[Quietman]

There's no one really now, just feel so tired.

[Consolida]

^ What about your dad or your sister?
I'm so sorry that things are so bad for you at the moment. Only time will ease some of the awful pain of losing a loved one

[Quietman]

My Dad does his own thing and my sister is in New York so she doesnt like to talk much. The problem is because I was so close to my mom Ive lost my best friend to, I just cant see a future for myself.

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by The*Crafty*Elf

People only truly die when we stop talking or thinking about them

Very true. That's what brings me comfort at the moment. I talk about my mum and to my mum every day and it kind of makes me feel like she is still close by. And, who knows, maybe she is.

@ Quietman, although I obviously didn't know your mum, I am sure that she would want you to have a go at making a life for yourself and opening yourself up to the possibility of enjoying new experiences and perhaps making some new friends (as challenging as that can be with SA) before you are someday reunited with your beloved mum

[Quietman]

I seem pathetic but at the moment every minute seems to be a struggle I may have to go somewhere for my own safety

[Consolida]

^^ You most definitely aren't pathetic. You are coping with a situation that anyone would greatly struggle with. I sometimes find that when my thoughts take me to a dark place distracting myself with a feel good film, a book or listening to music can bring some respite. If you do feel like you might hurt yourself tonight then please call your dad or even the Samaritans. Also, it may well be worth contacting your GP and/or seeking the support of a grief counsellor.

Look after yourself Quietman

[Quietman]

The doctors upped my medication, wanted to refer me to community mental health team I said no because they aren’t very good and it’s in a really rough area, I’d fear for my life if I had to go there.

[Percy]

Get well soon Quietman

[Quietman]

Thank you Consolida, Crafty Elf and Percy, I’m hoping I will it just seems one piece of bad news after the other and it’s all come together with one big punch.

Really struggling again I’ve never known a hardest time as this so much pain, I get we all loose people we love, but god does it hurt.

[Mellie]

hope you feel better soon quietman. does anyone else feel suicidal every single day or is it just me? people think I have good days, I just put a act on.

[Quietman]

^ I have felt suicidal every day before and after my mom died, for the last five years really but never more so than now. I really think that this time next year I wont be here theres just nothing for me anymore, I no how you feel Mellie

[Mellie]

hang in there quietman, things might change for you. yeah I have been like this pretty much all my life, I just feel like I don't belong... sounds pathetic, like everyone in here is saying that to me

[Quietman]

^ I have always felt like I dont belong in this world, that I'm different somehow and not worthy, its only got stronger since I have gotten older.

[Mellie]

same with me

[Quietman]

^ I agree with you, on everything you have said, I dont think people should say suicide is wrong because I feel that they dont know somebody else's life and what they are going through to get to that point.