How is everyone feeling? (31) - Page 791

Consolida · #**23701** 7th January 2022, 16:09

Thanks Dougella, ChessandJunkfood, Percy, SpectralOwls and Azalea for your support. For what it's worth, I think you lot are amazing too

I haven't taken any extra Lorazepam (I've been binging on chocolate instead) and am sticking to my taper. I'm feeling ever so very slightly less mental today and am just trying to take one day at a time.

Consolida · #**23702** 8th January 2022, 18:04

I'm feeling distraught..

It's now well over a week since I was last allowed to see my mum in Hospital because of restrictions on hospital visiting. When she went in she had the cancer and a worsening fractured back which meant she wasn't even able to get up from her chair, but now she has a serious chest infection, and when I phone her she is increasingly disorientated to the point that today she has full blown dementia. A week ago she was mentally very sharp. I feel like that place has taken my mum away and replaced her with someone else. Nobody ever phones from the ward to give me any updates and it's always me who had to phone. I phoned earlier and the Nurse said that she didn't know anything about my mum and that a Nurse who does would phone later. I'm still waiting. I know the hospitals are understaffed and we have to be careful because of Covid but this is ****ing inhumane. My mum said she thought about killing herself but is trying to remain strong. What would someone else do if this was their loved one?

If someone bothers to phone I'm going to insist that they allow me to see her and if they refuse I'm going to turn up on the door and do battle with the security guards. No wonder my mum believes that she's in prison!

Sorry for the vent but I'm bedside myself with worry and needed to let off some steam somewhere

Percy · #**23703** 8th January 2022, 18:45

Aw Consolida

Dougella · #**23704** 8th January 2022, 18:47

^^ Yes, absolutely insist that you go and see her, you are her next of kin and you have been her carer since she has been more ill. You absolutely should be able to make sure that she's getting the proper care and also that she's not too distressed, which it sounds like may be starting to become a problem. (Even something like dehydration can make an older person start to become confused can't it, so they have to watch that carefully and unfortunately sometimes staffing levels mean that keeping a close eye on a patient's liquid intake can slip.)
You're fully vaccinated, you take regular tests anyway and no-one in your household is positive any more so there's no reason you shouldn't visit.

Consolida · #**23705** 8th January 2022, 20:08

^ A Nurse didn't phone back as was promised so I phoned the ward again, asking if I could see my mum. She responded that it's against Hospital policy to allow any visits. I informed her that my mum has been sounding more and more distressed and disoriented when I phoned her each day and that she now sounded like someone with severe dementia and the Nurse replied "Ohh, if she has dementia then you can visit" I said that my mum was totally dementia free just over a week ago and then the Nurse hesitated and admitted that she'd been looking at the wrong patient notes. After that it was back to telling me that visiting is against Hospital policy.

I want to drive to the hospital but there's no way that security will allow me to get in. There's always at least 2/3 burly guards on all the entrances. My husband says that I'm letting my heart rule my head and should wait until Monday when there might be Doctors available and I could make a complaint to PALS. I guess he is right but this is absolutely killing me

Dougella · #**23706** 8th January 2022, 20:13

^ So if someone has dementia they're allowed visitors, but not if they don't. Doesn't seem very sensible. You could tell a little white lie, and say to whoever tries to stop you visiting that your mother is showing signs of dementia and you've been told you're allowed to visit.

Your husband is probably right about what he said, but I can see why you are finding it so difficult.

Consolida · #**23707** 8th January 2022, 20:17

^ The thing is, even I got pass security with a white lie I still wouldn't be allowed onto the ward that my mum is on because all the wards are also locked. The Nurses would simply refuse to allow me in.

Dougella · #**23708** 8th January 2022, 20:21

^ Unless they're looking at the wrong patient's notes ofcourse. What a terrible situation.

biscuits · #**23709** 8th January 2022, 20:38

oh Consolida, how awful. I hope the hospital is able to allow visitors soon.

newbs16 · #**23710** 8th January 2022, 22:18

It's bad that they won't let family visit, things can't go on like this forever we have to start to live with this virus.

Sent from my SM-A530F using Tapatalk

Consolida · #**23711** 9th January 2022, 16:41

I'm feeling happy, sort of.

The hospital has finally relented and is allowing me to see my mum this evening. Only today, it seems, but it's a start. I've had to step way out of my comfort zone - terrifying for someone with SA - and not allow myself to be constantly fobbed off. I wasn't going to take no for an answer anymore. When someone you love is is literally fighting for their life and doesn't have a voice then I've discovered that you somehow find the courage to speak up for them.

Consolida · #**23712** 9th January 2022, 16:50

I'm also feeling so scared and I've got the runs (sorry tmi)

biscuits · #**23713** 9th January 2022, 16:57

That's great news, Consolida!! Such a quick turn around in being able to get yourself on the ward. I don't mean to sound patronising, but well done - it takes a lot to challenge these things

Do you think you can arrange the next visiting time when you are there this evening? It might be an easier process than trying to arrange it on the phone again.

biscuits · #**23714** 9th January 2022, 16:57

Not so great news on the possible runs, but maybe it's a nerves thing?

Dougella · #**23715** 9th January 2022, 17:28

^^^^ That's great! You were right to push the issue and not take no for an answer.

anewyear · #**23716** 10th January 2022, 00:18

How did it go Consolida? Did you manage to get to see her?
And to echo others.. well done for finding the inner strength to push through with arguing your case.

Consolida · #**23717** 10th January 2022, 04:21

^/^^/^^^/^^^^ Thanks for the kind words and support everyone

Yes, I saw my mum and although she's not in a good way it was a huge relief to be able to spend some time with her. The Nurse on the ward also said that I can return tomorrow.
It does seem that the only way to get anything you want is to speak up and refuse to take no for an answer which is so incredibly difficult when you are a socially anxious person who doesn't feel at all comfortable making any kind of fuss.

Consolida · #**23718** 10th January 2022, 15:57

I'm feeling gutted, scared, hopeless...

So much for being allowed to visit my mum in hospital again today. It's transpired that the old woman in the bed opposite to my mum has tested positive for Covid this morning so I can't visit her after all, and I won't be able to for god knows how long

SpectralOwls · #**23719** 10th January 2022, 18:17

Back to being stressed out and disappointed again.

Found out I got covid from the plane ride over here, and now me and my fiance have had to cancel our appointment for our marriage interview... And wouldn't you have it, it's fully booked out for the rest of the month and beyond...

I am so sad about this. Finally felt like things were going well, and then THIS happens... It feels like nothing can ever be easy for me. Some kind of BS has to happen always.

My visa loses validity on the 22nd of February so on top of this I have some worry over my situation. The immigration office was absolutely terrible and useless when my fiance called in to ask about what needs to be done. I felt like I got whiplash from them telling us to call different lines and being wrong about it each time. He has to try again tomorrow.

Why is it so hard to be with the one I love!?!?

And now idk what this will mean also for my dogs situation too... It feels like a domino affect where it just ruins all my plans and... Ugh... I'm just so damn tired.

The Devil, Probably. · #**23720** 10th January 2022, 18:40

This covid nonsense needs to stop. Fortunately Boris is moving things in the right direction now. No good to those caught up in these stupid rules now though.

Dougella · #**23721** 10th January 2022, 19:13

^^^ Really sorry to hear that! Will they put the woman who has tested positive ina seperate isolation place? Hopefully it won't last for too many days and you will be able to visit your mum again very soon.

^^ Oh that's a shame SpectralOwls! You only get a visa for a month? Is the situation for Civil partnerships the same as marriages, or do you have to have a marriage interview no after what kind of union type thing you're having?

Hope you recover from covid very soon.

Azalea · #**23722** 10th January 2022, 19:24

Oh no Consolida, that's terrible timing

Spectralowls it's a shame they can't do an interview over zoom.

Dougella · #**23723** 10th January 2022, 19:29

^ That's a very good point, surely they should be able to do it over zoom.

SpectralOwls · #**23724** 10th January 2022, 19:57

I had to go and take a long walk to cool my head. I feel a lot better now. Kind of glad there was a mist outside to cool me off walking up all these hills lol.

I was thinking of that too (the zoom call), but it looks like they don't do it. Perhaps they can't because it's basically proof of me being physically in the country? Seems like it should be pushed during these times though. :/

My visa was originally for 6 months, but because of complications and wanting to save money, I left the country last week. Even though my visa has over a month left there's a stupid rule that you have to get married after 28 days after the meeting I think.

If we don't get an extension then we'll have to reach out to his MP I suppose.

All of this ruined by getting covid at the worst time.

biscuits · #**23725** 10th January 2022, 20:17

^ In the UK we have something called Citizens Advice. It might be worth your fiancÃ© contacting them to see if they can offer any advice with this. They're really good and will be very helpful.

Percy · #**23726** 11th January 2022, 15:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpectralOwls

Back to being stressed out and disappointed again.

Found out I got covid from the plane ride over here, and now me and my fiance have had to cancel our appointment for our marriage interview... And wouldn't you have it, it's fully booked out for the rest of the month and beyond...

I am so sad about this. Finally felt like things were going well, and then THIS happens... It feels like nothing can ever be easy for me. Some kind of BS has to happen always.

My visa loses validity on the 22nd of February so on top of this I have some worry over my situation. The immigration office was absolutely terrible and useless when my fiance called in to ask about what needs to be done. I felt like I got whiplash from them telling us to call different lines and being wrong about it each time. He has to try again tomorrow.

Why is it so hard to be with the one I love!?!?

And now idk what this will mean also for my dogs situation too... It feels like a domino affect where it just ruins all my plans and... Ugh... I'm just so damn tired.

Sorry to hear you're having problem spectralowls

Percy · #**23727** 11th January 2022, 15:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by biscuits

^ In the UK we have something called Citizens Advice. It might be worth your fiancÃ© contacting them to see if they can offer any advice with this. They're really good and will be very helpful.

Excellent advise, I always said biscuits was wise.

Consolida · #**23728** 11th January 2022, 17:45

@ SpectralOwls - Oh noo, that's awful that you caught Covid on the plane over and now it's threatening to mess up some of your well laid plans. Talk about it never rains but it pours! Biscuits advice about contacting Citizens Advice is excellent advice.

Hope things eventually work out for you

newbs16 · #**23729** 12th January 2022, 04:10

@SpectralOwls Have you already cancelled your appointment?

Isn't this annoying, you've tried to go about things the right way, as you tested positive and you're now isolating and look at the thanks you've got.

are you able to do another test to see if you are now negative so you can attend your appointment.

SpectralOwls · #**23730** 12th January 2022, 11:41

Thanks guys. <3 I definitely still have it... I tested with an antigen test and it was positive, and I'm still feeling it.

Just feels like a light head cold really (I think since it's the final days, it's kind of coming back). Been horrible coming here and being cooped up and now stressing over this.

Apparently my visa vignette is completely incorrect....... So now I'm focusing on trying to fix that, and it's been awful because of immigration being slammed by brexit/covid so I have to wait 5 days for a response about that anyways. :/ And if I get no response or help, my fiance will have to contact his MP to escalate it. It's awful. We just want to be together.