Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Alone.]

Had a good sleep for the first time in two days I would say.

[Alone.]

Originally Posted by Dougella

What did you confront him about? Did you feel like he was criticising you?

About the question and staring for a few seconds. He only said it to me in front of a few chefs and no one else so I felt targeted. I felt targeted more than criticised. He apologised and I think with things like this, you have to be there or experience it to understand it.

I know things like this are small but I’ve read it’s not good to bottle up stuff and go against gut feelings, apparently in the long term as it can even lead to poorer health as it’s kind of like ignoring your central nervous system.

[Dougella]

^ Ah, ok.

[blancmange]

Originally Posted by biscuits

^ i struggle with a change of plans and with uncertainty. If I don't have a clear mental run through of what's vaguely going to happen then I'm on edge. It depends on how in control I feel. If I was doing something on my own then I wouldn't mind just winging it, but if someone else has invited me and I don't know the venue or what's going to happen then I can't relax. I clam up and shut down rather than panic. But in the lead up to it I'll be anxious and it takes over my thoughts.

Hope you are okay . Do you think there is anything you can do to help you with adapting plans next time? Maybe having or imaging a few plans or ideas of what might happen might help. Or talking through the plans with someone before you go, or going with someone else.

Originally Posted by twosocks

^^ yeah. Especially if last minute or i've not been told in advance. Get a bit flustered.

Originally Posted by Dougella

^^^^ Yes I do, if it's last minute or it's something that someone hasn't told me is going to be happening.

Thank you for your replies guys I'm sorry to hear you also struggle with this. It can really throw me off, however I did manage to get through it, and it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

@Biscuits Thanks for the tip, I do tend to overthink every possibility and outcome, if that's what you mean? Luckily I'm always going out with my mum, so I could talk it through a bit and have that support

[Professor Willow]

A part of me wishes that we were still in lockdown, it was lovely to not hear drunken idiots brawling in town on a Friday night.

[The Devil, Probably.]

Yeah me too, more so with antisocial idiots out and about making unnecessary noise. The older I get the greater the pool of people I detest becomes.

[biscuits]

Woah - I woke up thinking it must be about 6am. It is not. Whoops

[Percy]

Thinking about going back to bed.

[Alone.]

That lots of things, not really but major things, have to change in my life.

[Alone.]

This is Hip Hop, it's much more than music, it's like a way of doing things.

[Alone.]

Is it the wrong mentality to want to be attractive, liked, cool etc?

I know it's pretty normal to want these stuff. However I've wanted these stuff when in reality I am socially anxious and socially awkward. I am so isolated, even from family, that I have no idea on how to even act around kids.

I think social media makes us want these things more. For people who don't have the direct traits or haven't acquired stuff like social skill, knowledge of pop culture to be cool. Wanting these things too much is probably damaging to their mental health.

I have met people, even teachers, that came across a bit awkward, weren't really liked by the majority at first glance, but still had a lot to offer. In fact, I think their skill and what they had to offer spoke for them.

Also saw a few garden renovation videos, makes me feel I should do more DIY. It must feel good to build stuff. I think it makes you feel like you are making something better.

[Professor Willow]

It's 5 years since I came out as gay (although I now consider myself bisexual) I can remember people at the time saying how it would make me feel happier to be myself and that a whole world of exciting opportunities lay ahead of me, new friends, new experiences, blah blah blah.

So here I am 5 years later still no friends, still less sexual experience than most 16 year olds, still unhappy with life and feeling powerless to change it.

[Alone.]

Maybe I should go trade school.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoJ_H_W3VGY

[twosocks]

You have the stairway to heaven and the highway to hell. But no one has written a song about the moving walkway to purgatory..

[Alone.]

Quitting keto, although tbh some keto experts would probably say I was low carb, high fat as I was probably too stressed to go into ketosis.

I may try it again in the future, I may even go back to it in a few days but now I think I am quitting it. However I will carry some stuff from it. I'm still not gonna eat bread that often, won't eat chocolate bars more. Now I am eating rice, because I have done and read about keto it feels kinda unhealthy so I think I probably won't eat rice too much as well. Will probably just go back to having certain fruits that I couldn't have on keto.

[Dougella]

Stepped out of my Mum's front door today and was confronted by half a mouse, the bottom half . The cats round here are savages!

[Chess&Junkfood]

How brutal, Dougella! I've never had a cat, but I see a lot of cats. Not in the dating sense of course. But where I live, there are quite a few cats that travel through my garden. I'm not entirely sure why they travel through it so much. I suppose it's sort of like a cat highway to them. I also never go out to them, as I don't like to bother them. Although a cat did notice how I was staring at him once. At which point, he started to stare back at me. Which then led me to lowering my gaze after about 5 seconds. I think he then realised that I didn't want any trouble. So I guess my point is, apart from that one time when I was dominated by a cat, the other cats where I live are quite respectful. And by that, I mean I've never noticed any bits of anything dangling from their mouths. Which surprises me, as I come from a fairly roughish area. Although when the cats move on from my garden, then it's probably a catastrophe in the next garden. But I just seem to notice the disney version of cats in my garden.

Anyway, I've got dishes to do!


and also........


I hope the cats where your mum lives become a bit less savage in the future.

[Dougella]

^ I'm glad you don't see cats in the dating sense.

The ones where my Mum lives are pretty docile usually, they just potter about the place. This was quite a surprise!

[biscuits]

One of my cats knows I don't eat meat, so she used to leave kitchen sponges on the door step haha

[Dougella]

^ Aw that's so kind of your cat

[firemonkey]

That even mental health forums often have the same hierarchy of popular to far less popular people that was a factor in people like myself becoming mentally ill.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Dougella

Stepped out of my Mum's front door today and was confronted by half a mouse, the bottom half . The cats round here are savages!

It's a gift, you're supposed to be grateful.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by firemonkey

That even mental health forums often have the same hierarchy of popular to far less popular people that was a factor in people like myself becoming mentally ill.

They can do. But the funny thing is that particularly on forums like this for social anxiety nearly everyone seems to feel like they are not popular or they are the odd one out atleast at some point!

[Percy]

It's a classic symptom of sa.

[Alone.]

Sometimes popularity is overrated, we should rather aim to be people of value. Because modern society is based on excessive consumption and convenience I think we forget this. I notice this with my generation going by what it seems the biggest priorities are for most of my generation if I look at online content.

[Alone.]

I wonder if being easily offended is a sign of poor boundaries.

I say things because I notice that the reason I have found small things such as dirty looks offensive because I internalise the other persons behaviour or literally take it as me being a bad person or doing something wrong.

I’m just realising a dirty look, passive aggressive behaviours are others options but not facts, if they feel the way they do about something that’s them so I don’t need to internalise what they feel.

[Chess&Junkfood]

I really appreciate your contributions to this forum, Firemonkey! And that's what I like about this forum, it's such a great mix of contributors! Where everyone has something to bring to the table. Like a great orchestra! All playing their own instruments. And your instrument I have to say, is very impressive!

As for hierarchy in general, I kind of view that as being like a structure of honeycombs. Where each honeycomb has it's own part to play. Where the overall goal........


Firmonkey, can I have a quick chat, please?


I'll be honest with you. This analogy isn't going well. At first I thought I was going somewhere with this analogy. But then the analogy started to fragment very quickly.

Now the problem is, I've already invested a fair amount of time on this post. Where I wanted to convey my appreciation for you as a member.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, it seems a shame to waste what I've already typed. So I hope you don't mind, but I need to take a slightly different direction with this post. But I can't stress this enough. The intention of this diversion is with good intentions. For my appreciation of you as a member of this forum!


Just give me a second, please, Firemonkey.......


Ok, Firemonkey! I've got it all sorted! Well, more or less


So I've decided to stick with the honeycomb analogy. Mainly as it's late and I have to be up at 8am!


And with regards to the honeycomb analogy, it's fair to say that I gravitate more towards a certain type of honeycomb. The rubber chicken kind I suppose you could say.


So without further ado, I would now like to invite you to be a member of the Rubber Chicken Honeycomb, Firemonkey! And of course everyone else is welcome to join!

I'm sorry, Firemonkey. I thought I could somehow salvage this post. But what with being late right now. And what with having to be up at 8am.

And again, I can't stress this enough. The intention of this diversion is with good intentions. For my appreciation of you as a member of this forum!




Disclaimer:
I'm sorry, it's late!

[Consolida]

^ I echo your thoughts Chess&Junkfood.
Following on from your honeycomb analogy thingy, I think Firemonkey is the Bee's knees. Honeycomb...Bee...get it?

Originally Posted by firemonkey

That even mental health forums often have the same hierarchy of popular to far less popular people that was a factor in people like myself becoming mentally ill.

I can relate to this. I've never fitted in anywhere including on a mental health forum and am convinced that I am disliked by 99% of the members (when in reality most are probably totally indifferent) but that's SA and low self esteem for you

As C&J so wisely says, everyone brings something to the table.

For what's it's worth, I've always found your posts very interesting Firemonkey and would miss you if you didn't post


I'm thinking about some of the unkind and damn right ignorant comments that I've read on Facebook by random strangers regarding the poor Afghans fleeing for their lives. I shouldn't get so wound up about such things but I always do because I'm so sick of all the hypocrisy and bigotry. I occasionally make the mistake of wading in with my opinion but of course it's met with derision from the 'All Lives Matter' brigade. I recently tried to explain to some racist oik that all lives matter but Black Lives Matter too but he retaliated with 'Go Away little girl!'. That such people exist is so depressing.

[choirgirl]

It is as I thought. Living on your own is amazing, so relaxing. Ofc in real life it involves responsibility for everything and paying for everything, I know.

Consolida, I reckon you are liked by 99% of this forum.

[Chess&Junkfood]

I couldn't agree more, Choirgirl! And after doing some recent calculations, I believe Consolida's likeability is now at 99.99%

And coincidentally, Choirgirl. Your likeability is also at 99.99%

Consolida and Choirgirl! Both fantastic members on this forum!

I've also done another calculation. This one is for the entire forum. And this calculation says that you all have a 99.99% likeability calculation!

I would now like to dedicate this song to everyone on the forum!

Disclaimer:
I won't lie to you. There was sugar involved in this post. But even when this sugar haze has worn off, I will still stand by that 99.99% calculation!