Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Clumsy*]

^Snap Hollie I'd be up for it, it's on my bucket list, but I live to far away from you (South). Hope you find a buddy to go with. How about asking in this thread:

https://www.social-anxiety-community...ad.php?t=93995

You never know...
I miss Gregarious_Introvert now.

[Hollie]

^ thank you Clumsy and ditto about the bucket list! Even if it's just to poke my head in and see what's going on

[biscuits]

^ ah yeah maybe they'd go if it's a specific themed night? You can get ones that do 70s nights. There was a club near me that only plays rock music - different nights had different genres. I'd also go if I was closer because I love to dance

[biscuits]

I went to a place today and ordered the vegetarian taco dish. I started eating it and thought, "Wow, this tastes so realistic like chicken!"

I gave a piece to my meat eating sister and she was like, "That IS chicken!"

[Alone.]

Leaving my job for certain now though it's difficult as I plan to travel at the end of next month.

Today towards the end of my shift a coworker from a different department was showing a man around the hotel and when she was showing the section I was working at, it was like she was ashamed of me or didn't want to acknowledge me or felt awkward around me. There were other people in the section I was working as well. Even when my manager introduced me to the new Hotel manager, he didn't seem to do it with much pride and just said he takes care of "back of house duties."

I think I don't want to work in a hotel environment again. To me it is full of gossip and feels shallow and fake. Then the shifts are too much hours because of how you can either do morning or evening shifts, have doubles, have off days really spaced out that you work 14 days in a row. I feel it doesn't directly impact my health as I try to sleep enough but it makes it hard to focus on being healthy.

I work in a refugee hotel at the moment and the hotel doesn't seem keen on helping the refugees. At least the restaurant. They act like it is a chore. Anything they ask for, such as green chillies isn't taken to account and the chef says they don't have many green chillies but if the refugees repeatedly ask for that then it's common sense that the hotel can provide a bigger batch of green chillies. Recently some refugees were acting out and making accusations. They accused me of spreading the virus because I have to polish some glasses but the refugee was saying that I was putting my hand in the glass which I wasn't. They accused another colleague of staring at a woman. Initially I was angry about this but then I feel like they feel we don't treat them that well so were projecting. Also they are moving to another hotel. Like me moving to another job, if I haven't found my job pleasant it's not like I would think nicely about the job I am leaving. My colleagues say we shouldn't be too nice to the refugee otherwise they would take advantage but maybe they need some niceness, or someone who makes them see opportunity.

I feel the industry is not for me. It's too much performing, about social status and not always about doing actual work. At the moment I am looking at some janitor positions.

[Dougella]

^ I'm not sure how being nice to people causes them to take advantage. A bit of kindness goes a long way I would think, for people who have been through so much and are in a completely new country. It sounds like you're much more understanding towards them, Alone.

[anxiouslondoner]

^^^ oh no! I hope not. I've been there though. "hmmm, this vegetarian dish tastes a bit TOO convincing..." not sure how I can tell any more, but I think I can.

[biscuits]

^ it turned out that it was chicken, Al! We asked the guy and he was like, "Yes, it is the chicken version."

I definitely ordered the vegetarian dish because I've been vegetarian for forever, I didn't suddenly forget (I didn't say that hahah).

[Dougella]

^ True, and perhaps also your Dad and maybe siblings if you're lucky.

[Alone.]

Originally Posted by NeverWas

Thinking about how no one will ever tolerate or deep down care about you unconditionally like your mother. As dysfunctional as mine is, I know that. It must be a great loss to lose one. No one will ever have as much regard for you as a mother, and especially no man for sure. Everyone else will want something or other in return but her.

How are you so sure? Maybe most people but not everyone.

[Alone.]

I haven't cried for years. I feel like to genuinely access the feeling of crying again I need to express my anger, release it and ten imagine pain will come out which I am scared to actually express because it feels weak although it isn't. I don't know if I could do this alone. It seems like I am more anxious in social situations but they can also make me more sad. However it's very hard for me to feel safe in most social situations to be able to express my emotions.

[Alone.]

I'm broken

[Dougella]

^ You're not broken Alone

[Clumsy*]

It's amazing how the grass has sprung back to life after a day or two of rain.
It's lush and green now.

Does it grow new leaves, or do the yellow dry ones rehydrate?

I wish I knew how to take life less seriously. What's the secret?

[Alone.]

Originally Posted by Clumsy*

It's amazing how the grass has sprung back to life after a day or two of rain.
It's lush and green now.

Does it grow new leaves, or do the yellow dry ones rehydrate?

I wish I knew how to take life less seriously. What's the secret?

To be vulnerable I guess??? Is it bad to take life seriously? I think it’s all about perspective. I think ultimately we should learn to be vulnerable as to reach our potential, feel joy, we need to allow ourselves to be open to pain as well. Something society doesn’t tell us.

Bring authentic us vulnerable and we may be seen as too sensitive or steps by some for that.

[anxiouslondoner]

^ it's dangerous to be vulnerable in a world full of and run by sociopaths, people who would destroy you for their own amusement and face no consequences.

[choirgirl]

I'm 20 years behind in my maturing. Stupid becoming ugly and sa and my own lack of direction. How I wish I could redo most of the noughties.

[Clumsy*]

Originally Posted by Alone.

Is it bad to take life seriously?

No, it's not bad, but taking life too seriously strips the joy off life.
Too much worrying, too much regret, the usual negative patterns I get into.

[3stacks]

Can I become a nice better person or am I stuck like this? I've been a nasty person in the past and I don't ever want to be like that again but I seem to still fall into those bad habits even though I'm trying not to

Sent from my SM-S908B using Tapatalk

[Alone.]

Originally Posted by Clumsy*

No, it's not bad, but taking life too seriously strips the joy off life.
Too much worrying, too much regret, the usual negative patterns I get into.

I don’t know if I fully agree. Allowing yourself to take it seriously or however you take it would allow joy. Losing, loss or failure is part of life as well as winning and success. I kind of say this because I’m wondering if not taking life serious is holding back, I think it depends on the person. I think what stops joy is when we go against our desires due to fear.

Reading a book on vulnerability is actually making me question some popular cultural beliefs and mentalities.

Thinking about it maybe the answer is about mindfulness or just accepting things as they are, and what we can and can’t control.

[Alone.]

Right now working in the main restaurant. Usual managers are not there. I’m expected to know what to do but then there isn’t much to do at this particular moment. So most colleagues are small talking. This job isn’t for me.

[Professor Willow]

Does anyone else spend all their time at work thinking about things to do with your time off but then when you are off work can't be bothered?

[cymruambyth26]

My brother just told me he's going to go to a speed dating event on Wednesday. I'm just thinking....gosh I couldn't think of anything more anxiety provoking than that for myself.

He's got no expectations though and will just give it a go. Fair play to him.

[Alone.]

Why don’t uni’s and schools use audiobooks to learn?

[Dougella]

^ Because they're still stuck on everyone learning in the same way, a lot of the time. People who have diagnoses like dyslexia can use audio books instead I think.

[Rocket Spud]

... And that's the last bank holiday before xmas. Enjoy the rest of your evening.

[anxiouslondoner]

^^ Audio books are very slow. I'd much rather read a paper book.

[Alone.]

Originally Posted by anxiouslondoner

^^ Audio books are very slow. I'd much rather read a paper book.

That’s you, that isn’t everyone. I prefer audio books for example.

[anxiouslondoner]

^ I expect most people of even average reading ability can read a page of text in a fraction of the time it takes someone to say it all. Then if you want to go back you've got to skip and then find the bit you wanted. As opposed to just moving your eyes or skipping through pages.
Audio books are crap for reference. They're OK for stories because they provide atmosphere, and random access is less important.
I believe that the idea of individual learning styles has been debunked.

[Dougella]

^ I suppose it depends what you're reading the book for. I like listening to audio books that are fiction, it's nice to be able to do other things while you listen. But yes it's harder to go back and find a bit you've already listened to.