Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Alone.]

Originally Posted by anxiouslondoner

^ I expect most people of even average reading ability can read a page of text in a fraction of the time it takes someone to say it all. Then if you want to go back you've got to skip and then find the bit you wanted. As opposed to just moving your eyes or skipping through pages.
Audio books are crap for reference. They're OK for stories because they provide atmosphere, and random access is less important.
I believe that the idea of individual learning styles has been debunked.

I find audio books easier to listen to than read. Sure we may be able to read faster but some of us see it as a chore which can make reading take much more time.

[Alone.]

The main thing stopping me from studying Christianity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n078cvLw8I

[Alone.]

Autism and feeling unemployable.

I actually took a day off from work today as I found it hard to sleep yesterday. I had to wake up 4am for a 6:30am shift. It’s not because I have sleep problems but because of stress or unresolved conflicts. I haven’t really had sleep issues at my current job but did at my last job so can clearly see the pattern.

With this job I didn’t even get an interview. My manager offered it to me after doing a temp kitchen porter job in my current workplace. But what I do is much different from kitchen portering.

I work as an Events waiter and organise the items needed for the events and clean them up with my team after an event. This summer our department was dead so I was working in the main hotels restaurant and mostly in the Afghan refugee hotel.

Yesterday, I actually had decent sleep so wasn’t tired at my 6:30am shift. I ended up b helping the main restaurant with room service and polishing the glasses, plates and cutlery. I think one thing my brain is good at is logistics. So I was doing a good job. A colleague pointed out how I was fast but I responded I was organised, not necessarily fast, as I find keeping a flow of rhythm with what to wash and polish can make it efficient. For example, in the Afghan refugee hotel I have found that there are more customers than glasses. So sometimes I would wash and polish glasses even if it was only 6 glasses so that they don’t run out of glasses.

Anyways it seemed like the restaurant manager wasn’t happy with me despite doing my job. She appeared somewhat irritated. Offered the two kitchen porters who were working with me Apple Juice but not me. The restaurant colleagues also seem to avoid me. Today I called a sick day to my manager. I know no response is good or better than being told off or sacked but then it also appears careless. I feel my manager only wants me there because his department is understaffed and has had new people quit due to overtime they weren’t properly told about, taking a sick day. I feel my work environment is toxic for me. My manager even has a WhatsApp group that all my department are in except for me.

I have been thinking of going back to a job like kitchen portering. I feel that people looked down more on that but this current job isn’t for me. I can probably do more skilled jobs. Even work with people as it feels good to help people. But I need the support to be able to do such a thing as my anxiety is reduced when I feel truly supported or am less depressed. I can say I was probably better with people although also more awkward, due to less social awareness, as a 10 year old kid as I wasn’t depressed and my anxiety wasn’t as high as it is now.

I feel unemployable as it’s hard to find somewhere where I fit in. I was thinking of how I have disliked certain colleagues as well but they weren’t exactly that nice. I feel somewhat capable but also feel like I can’t display my capability because of how socially awkward I appear but then look normal that I’m expected to act neurotypical and not have anxiety.

Recently quite a few people were terminated from the hotels restaurant. I am sure that one was possibly autistic.

[cymruambyth26]

Goodness, I've managed to save a fair bit of money on my phone bill......this is my thoughts fresh from my head. I got to laugh/smile.

[Merritt]

It's not even September yet and Iceland are rolling out their Christmas sweeties.

[biscuits]

^ reeeesult.

[Stepford]

What shall I do next? I've got to pick up my prescription and buy Paracetamol and I want to buy a large ceramic pot at Waitrose for my water feature project, pretty sure I can't do both. Will the chip shortage ever be over and whether Raspberry Pi Compute Modules will ever be available again?

[Dougella]

^ There's a chip shortage? I had heard that there's going to be a potato shortage.

[Stepford]

^

[Stepford]

How do you make avatars smaller? I resized my boomer avatar 90x90 and it's still the same size.

[SFC01]

Originally Posted by Alone.

To be vulnerable I guess??? Is it bad to take life seriously? I think it’s all about perspective. I think ultimately we should learn to be vulnerable as to reach our potential, feel joy, we need to allow ourselves to be open to pain as well. Something society doesn’t tell us.

Bring authentic us vulnerable and we may be seen as too sensitive or steps by some for that.

Take just a few things that are important to you seriously...and **** all the rest.

Of course, being vulnerable and taking risks lead us to where a lot of the rewards in life are, but it can also make us miserable and joyless if its not for us. I've been there with work and I wouldn't do that ever again.

If you are not the kind of person, right now, to put yourself in vulnerable situations then dont do it. Work on yourself and your development, keep your eyes open and im sure the right opportunities with the level of vulnerability you are comfortable with will come along.

and sometimes perhaps you just have to flick the "**** it" switch, and do it.

[Wham Bam Thank You Jam]

Feeling a bit paranoid. I've lost my house keys today and I have a feeling I might have possibly left them in the front door as I left for work in a rush this morning. I've done that before. Twice. I'm kind of worried someone saw it, nicked it, and waiting until the house is empty to ransack it. And then I'm worried someone will try to enter while we've got the kids at home. And I'm also worried for the thief if they try to enter while I'm the only one at home. I don't know what to do. Unless it's one of you guys that's picked them up, then that's fine. In which case feel free to pop in for a cup of tea. We don't have tea at our place, so you might wanna pick some up on your way. And if you could, get some chicken wings also.

[biscuits]

^ have you found them? I have so many spare keys because I'm forever losing them! At least four times a week I am looking for a misplaced key!

I lost my car key the other day. Next morning, I went to the wheelie bin... and there the key was... on the roof of my car! It had been there all night! All night long. Lionel Ritchie wrote a song about it. Worst of all was that my dad drove my car around with my spare key with the key on the roof.

Is your door one of those that you can't unlock from the outside of there is a key in the lock on the inside? That might offer some extra comfort if you're worried that someone has the key.

[Wham Bam Thank You Jam]

^^ No not found them. It's really bothering me cos I heard that the first 24 hours are the most important in finding house keys that has gone missing. And after the 24 hours, only 5% of lost keys are reunited with their owner. It could be sex trafficked to Albania right now for all I know.

I've conceded that I've lost them. I reckon it happened during my commute to work, cos at one point I was rummaging through my backpack looking for my headphones while waiting for the tube.

[Professor Willow]

Why is it when someone makes you a cup of tea that resembles dish water you still feel compelled to drink it?

[biscuits]

I woke up with period pains, took some ibuprofen and heated up Bagpuss. Luckily the pain killers kicked in after an hour. Then I went for a walk around the woods/lake. I'm glad I didn't go back to bed.

[Percy]

I'm glad bagpuss is keeping you warm

[anxiouslondoner]

We should probably just admit that Royalism is a religion, and treat it accordingly. It has all the signs of one. It also happens to be the true state religion of the UK. Anglicanism, CoE is simply a distraction.

[cymruambyth26]

It's probably a good thing there is no football tomorrow as I didn't want to see my team lose again...they could do with more time on the training pitch at the moment.

Also, I have a pint of semi skimmed milk in the fridge that has lasted through 2 monarchs and 2 prime ministers.

[biscuits]

I need to go into town to get some shoes for the change in weather. I gave all my shoes away and forgot that I would forget to get new shoes. Now I only have sandals left to wear in the rain.

[Mike.Kzov]

^ Why did you give all your shoes to someone?? What did you get in exchange?

[Wham Bam Thank You Jam]

^ She was fed up of being criticised, so she decided to give others the opportunity to walk a mile in her shoes.

[biscuits]

^

^^ I gave all my shoe-shoes all away to a lady who was collecting shoes for people fleeing Ukraine. I was thinking that I wouldn't need them over the summer so just gave them all to her!

[Mike.Kzov]

^ Aw I see, that was kind of you :-)

[Wham Bam Thank You Jam]

^^ I dunno why, but I had a feeling it was for that reason. That's a very thoughtful thing to do and is in keeping with the kind of person you are.

[Alone.]

Maybe the path to success or doing what I like, isn't just pushing myself to do activities I like but also finding support, genuine support. I said that I seemed to make a friendship with one security guard at work, though I was scared of the connection as she is an older woman and I am attracted to her but think a relationship isn't an option.

Yesterday, after not seeing each other for a few day she greeted me, showed interest to connect with her conversation with me, it was actually mostly her speaking, and that helped to make my day much better yesterday. find that she always helps to make my day better. Right after the interaction I felt like more was possible. It's like when I have some social support automatically life feels easier.

So I was thinking doing activities I like to do or being more open about what I enjoy helps my sense of self and wellbeing. But social support helps even more. Maybe I need a mentor or something, but one that I feel genuinely wants to help me and that I also feel like I can connect with. Or I need a tribe.

[Bluebear]

Originally Posted by biscuits

^ nice! I've been on the cable car. It's not as scary as taking the bus

I haven't been on the cable car, or the bus (does sound scary )

[SpectralOwls]

I think... I'm really upset that people don't accept me as who I am. I feel like, every time my depression flares up this is what consistently goes through my mind. It's been honestly really bad after moving here and living in this house. I have to pretend to be someone I'm not and it's so rough and taking a toll on me. I hate dressing up to conform to someone else's standards, I hate pretending to have a different set of beliefs, and I hate also pretending that everything is okay.

I've finally gotten a job though, but I haven't started yet. The money will be paltry but I don't care, we're getting out of here no matter what. I just can't mentally take it... I'm full on getting depression now and it's rough. So rough.

[Dougella]

^ That does sound really rough. Well done with getting the job and I hope you can move out really soon! Are you able to wear what you want just in your own room and then put on a cardigan or something, when you go elsewhere in the house?

[Percy]

SpectralOwls