Sending another member a message???

[enilorac]

Ok am I the only person who pays attention at what people post and think ooh that person sounds interesting I'll just send them a message and get to know them a bit better then freak the heck out in cae they think I'm stalking them
Or is it just me being weird again lol

[enilorac]

Originally Posted by mark101

I've only pm'd people for a specific reason really i dont like to push myself on people.

That's excatly how I feel but then I think of how many potential friendships albeit online I might be losing just by thinking that

[Toxic]

Originally Posted by Ninja81

I've never made first contact on here, I'd feel like I'm bothering people tbh.

dis ^

ive had a few private messages and them visitor message things, but ive never initiated a single one

especially women, id feel a right stalker/pervert/creep etc

dunno if i have a valid reason for men...

[enilorac]

Originally Posted by VinceMasuka

Who are you stalking?

lol noone just seen a few peoples' comments and thought I'd like to get to know them better but EEEK!

Cavegirl that's excatly what I'm thinking how else would I kow people if I don't make first move? It feels almost like an extension of real life where I want to get to know people but back of in case they think I'm pestering them.

[enilorac]

So basically this is just another SAD thing? ok I know its not funny but it's making me laugh in a sad way hw we all want to make new friends because e all have something in common but that one thing is also holding us back

[enilorac]

Originally Posted by Emma792

If you were sending them a billion messages a day asking for sex then yeah thats weird, but if not I would just not worry and go for it. What's the worst that could happen?

I like seeing that little thing pop up telling you you have a message. I am really sad... haha

Nah I'm not after sending those type of messages lol

I'd like to see mine pop up and say you got a message too lol

Vince you're probably right now who to send message to lol

[enilorac]

Originally Posted by VinceMasuka

Reach out to us, SAUK folk?

One of these days I will do it
or someone else can bat me to it lol

[Toxic]

dammit i was gonna respond to that

if anyone wants to pester me for se.. nvm

[Colin80]

It's always a nice surprise when I recieve a pm, I assume most people will feel the same.

[Toxic]

Originally Posted by Ninja81

Go on then, but it's gonna cost ya young man!

I've only ever been pestered for sex once in my life but tbh I always said there was something wrong with her, and I was right.

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

I send out messages to all the socially anxious hot ladies I fancy on here... ops, sorry forgot this is not a dating website.

Seriously though, if you like something they have written, want advice or hold a similar interest I'm sure they will appreciate a compliment, there's no harm in making conversation if the intention is just chat and friendship but don't always expect a reply back and take offence.

[princess1985]

I have messaged people on here and others have me either way it's a good thing. When I've pm'ed someone it's normally after reading a thread or post never just random. Either way it doesn't bother me aslong as theirs no hidden agenda (i.e. the sort that may use the forum to look for women then pm every woman they come across kinda of thing)

[We_Hate_You]

I'm an unsociable a-hole so any attempt to be friendly is always painfully forced and it shows even online.

[Golz]

Originally Posted by Emma792

I have initiated messages with people and had people initiate messages with me, I think it's a good thing, I like seeing that little thing pop up telling you you have a message. I am really sad... haha

Don't think your alone, it's nice to see even more so when that you're not expecting a message. Well and I can say I've done/ had the other part done a bit myself too. Whenever I've sent one it's usually been started in a direct response to a post, that I probably replied too also but felt like I could say more but didn't want to say it in the open or the person seemed interesting (or both). Never really thought about it seeming creepy or something if they were female and don't think I've had any taken that way.

[Pandapop]

I don't think I've sent any messages to people first who aren't on my friends list. I probably don't because I like to 'click' with someone and if I think I do over the forum then I'll start talking to them.
It is nice to get a surprising message in your inbox from people you've barely spoken too :D

[wjfox]

Anyone can send me a message about anything, I don't mind at all.

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

Originally Posted by Pandapop

I don't think I've sent any messages to people first who aren't on my friends list. I probably don't because I like to 'click' with someone and if I think I do over the forum then I'll start talking to them.
It is nice to get a surprising message in your inbox from people you've barely spoken too :D

Are you suspicious they might be just trying to chat you up and get a date though?

[Pandapop]

Originally Posted by AlienBuddha

Are you suspicious they might be just trying to chat you up and get a date though?

Depends what they say you can separate the perves from the just wanting to chat to you guys easily.
I get loads of messages from females surprisingly for advice tbh.

[Mr Ploppy]

Any PMs I get tend to be from mods. I don't see the point in random PMs to be honest. Difficult to think of any reasons I would contact someone and vice versa.

[across the pond]

Originally Posted by Colin80

It's always a nice surprise when I recieve a pm, I assume most people will feel the same.

I agree! I have sent a couple of PM"s myself - one of which has resulted in me working through a mindfulnss book with a really lovely lady whom I would like to think of as a friend. The other - and the boot on the other foot here - to a man whose posts I absolutley loved and we are now having regular weekly contact. I am a a married woman with two kids and it didn't feel at all weird for me to be in contact with another man on-line - my hubby is completely on board with me helping myself on my own recovery journey and if that involves me interacting with other men on-line to talk about SA related issues then that's fine with him. I think it is a shame if we don't use the PM facility here - if we want to of course - just getting to know other people and their point of view is so interesting.

[Tom123]

Getting a PM is only slightly less exciting than getting a text message for me but then that probably says more about the state of my life currently than anything else.

[Connor]

It's very rare for me to be the messagee rather than the messenger so I wouldn't know. I don't think it's too stalkerish to send messages. It can be stalkerish though when people find me hiding in a tree spying on them. While eating butter. I do love my butter.

[HardRockGlamour]

I often feel like PMing somebody that I think I have things in common with, or that I admire from their posts, but I rarely PM first. I can't remember if there was a time when I did, but I sure don't now. I guess I worry that I'm bothering them and that we may not have anything to talk about after all. There are people here I've wanted to talk to but they'll never know! I can be quite crap at replying too, messages take a lot of brainwork lol. =/

[enilorac]

Originally Posted by WhiteSwan~

I often feel like PMing somebody that I think I have things in common with, or that I admire from their posts, but I rarely PM first. I can't remember if there was a time when I did, but I sure don't now. I guess I worry that I'm bothering them and that we may not have anything to talk about after all. There are people here I've wanted to talk to but they'll never know! I can be quite crap at replying too, messages take a lot of brainwork lol. =/

That's excatly hw I feel.

I don't mind getting messages from either sex to be honest wouldn't think it weird if it was from a male.

I got a message today yay

[Detox]

I had 4 messages today!.... well they were a bit old as I've been gone for a bit.
But it still counts I guess.
As for PM'ing people I don't PM people first really, I'm not a good talker and don't like getting close to people either so its a vicious circle. :p

[Detox]

Originally Posted by mark101

Rub it in to us billy no mates peeps why dont ya

Well they were mainly asking where I was. I'm still a billy no mates, just they probably wanted something from me.
*fights having friends* I don't want em!

[Invisible]

When I first joined the forum I did send a few people PMs. One person specifically told me they were not interested in receiving PMs/making potential friends from this site, despite them being a regular poster on the forum.
I like receiving PMs and in particular one person that PM'd me first I have regular contact with

[STRING3R]

To be honest I can't be bothered. It never goes anywhere anyway.

Just a bland exchange of generic questions.

[timmytim7]

i like writing to people so feel free to write to me if you want a penfriend


tim

[talisman]

I never used to send messages but I do a lot more now, though like others I still feel like I'm annoying people if I message them. I don't think anyone's ever replied saying they don't want to talk (though some have declined chatting on Instant Messengers), but sometimes it seems like they're just replying out of politeness not because they want to chat. I guess I do tend to message more women than men, but I think that's understandable really.

I prefer chatting in chatrooms or IM to messages on here though. It's too slow...I much prfer to interact at a conversational pace, but getting the guts to message someone is the first step. Can't say I've made many friends from it though. Maybe one a year at best.