Type what you're thinking about right now (11) - Page 307

Fantastical · #**9181** 13th August 2016, 09:49

Hope you manage to get there D1662.

For some reason we left rather late this morning, someone doesn't do early mornings for climbing. So now going to be a very long journey down - driving to Weymouth on a hot weekend so going to be busy. Only one weekend out of my holiday so trying to be relaxed about it. Is annoying though. Can make up for it over the next three weeks hopefully. Always annoying climbing with people who are a lot less motivated, had it for a week in Wales earlier this year (different persont though).

Professor Willow · #**9182** 13th August 2016, 10:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fantastical

Hope you manage to get there D1662.

For some reason we left rather late this morning, someone doesn't do early mornings for climbing. So now going to be a very long journey down - driving to Weymouth on a hot weekend so going to be busy. Only one weekend out of my holiday so trying to be relaxed about it. Is annoying though. Can make up for it over the next three weeks hopefully. Always annoying climbing with people who are a lot less motivated, had it for a week in Wales earlier this year (different persont though).

Hope you have a good time in Weymouth,
I've got an hour and a half drive which hopefully won't be too bad and then the dreaded park and ride

all I can think about is whether people will be judging me on how I'm dressed, what I look like, etc.
I've abandoned the idea of wearing my pride t-shirt in favour of being a little less conspicuous, I will take it just in case I do grow a backbone on the way down.
Oh bugger I forgot i need to get fuel

Fantastical · #**9183** 13th August 2016, 10:33

^ Ah, hate it when you forgot the car's empty! I do that all the time

Everyone normally ignores each other on public transport, at least around my area. Like your idea of writing down negative thoughts and comparing them to what actually happens, might pinch that one. Hope it goes well

Professor Willow · #**9184** 13th August 2016, 11:18

Just doubled the value of my van, put £45 of diesel in it

Fantastical · #**9185** 13th August 2016, 11:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by D1662

Just doubled the value of my van, put £45 of diesel in it

anxiouslondoner · #**9186** 13th August 2016, 12:29

Wish I cared enough about anything that I had things to do in my spare time rather than just trying to distract myself. Everything seems pointless at the moment.

Mo34 · #**9187** 13th August 2016, 18:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

Oh, cool, 'sneaking'.. as in not paying?

Tut, Mo ... full of surprises!

I wouldn't feel too weird about it, you're there for your dad who clearly needs help. I'm glad you fought for the extra help too, it must be overwhelming for you at this moment.

My Mum's dad is beginning to need help, but she's a carer so it's second nature to her, totally routine. Still, it's time out of her life and she's busy enough as it is. My Dad's parents are still just about managing together. I worry though ... Dad's sisters live close by (to them), so he won't be getting dragged about.

Well, have a good time in Brighton, enjoy your wandering, watch those seagulls - make sure you get an ice cream!!

yes it's surprisingly easy to sneak into a hotel room when it's full of wedding guests

. Well technically I slept in my friends daughters bed and she slept with her mum (twin bed room) but still....

Yeah Brighton was cool, took a couple of pic's of the i360 thing on my phone.
Alas I missed out on ice cream. Lol I should have stuck around and had one with spectrelight!

Quote:

Originally Posted by newbie2013

^^ Why is your dad being abusive?

Oh he wanted to go to bed, the carer hadn't turned up, so he took himself to bed and couldn't do, causing more problems. He seems to think I will be around all the time and sleep on his sofa, have no life of my own etc.. I've told him he has to get on with the carers and adjust. Anyway we got into one and he got nasty (not unusual). i threatened to leave or go in the morning and well that kind of crap... He can be very difficult at times.

purplerose · #**9188** 13th August 2016, 19:18

Sorry to hear how bad it is for you living at home Johnny !!
It's a shame it is the way it is and they won't even try and have a conversation with you.
I hope things look up for you soon, keep your head up

That's one of the reasons I don't want my picture as my avatar as the while world can see and what if someone I know sees it!

purplerose · #**9189** 13th August 2016, 20:04

^Glad your ok now

I'm ok thanks, Although I do feel like I've wasted my whole day as ive just been sat in my room all day avoiding my family because they aren't well and I don't want to catch nothing of them ! On the plus side I got to see my niece for an hour or so earlier and that always puts a smile on my face!

have I read somewhere before that you have a niece ?

Professor Willow · #**9190** 13th August 2016, 20:15

How things can turn around in a matter of a few hours.
This morning I felt optimistic, a bit nervous but not too bad, got myself together and set off for my day out in Plymouth, drove there without incident and then it all went for a shit.
Because I was too SA to use the park and ride in my infinite wisdom I decided to try and park in the city, what a mistake to make

without a decent map I managed to get lost in a maze of one way systems and shitty little streets, adrenaline is now pumping big time, so I spend a good hour aimlessly driving round Plymouth eventually I did find somewhere to park but by now I was ****ed off, I could see where I had to be and people were buzzing about the place with their pride flags and costumes, they just looked so happy and normal and that was it, my bottle went, I couldn't go in there alone.
So I sat in the van for a bit procrastinating and beating myself up before deciding with tears rolling down my cheeks to give up and head for home

Somehow I made it home in one piece and now have to face the questions, did you have a good time? Why do you look so miserable? What did you go for anyway? Why so secretive?
So there we have it - my first pride, I've spent a good five hours driving over two hundred miles and for what? The only souvenir I have is a £2.80 parking ticket!
What an absolute disaster.

Professor Willow · #**9191** 13th August 2016, 20:19

I was supposed to be typing what a great day I'd had and thanking everyone for being so supportive instead I've let everyone down including myself.

purplerose · #**9192** 13th August 2016, 20:22

^^ oh no bless you, I'm sorry to hear you have had a nightmare of a day ! !
It's a shame you ended up coming home having missed everything.
At least you managed to get home in one piece.

purplerose · #**9193** 13th August 2016, 20:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by D1662

I was supposed to be typing what a great day I'd had and thanking everyone for being so supportive instead I've let everyone down including myself.

Please don't feel like you have let yourself or others down because you haven't!

You made all that effort to travel that many miles to Plymouth and back and that tells me it was something you really wanted but anxiety etc took over.

newbs16 · #**9194** 13th August 2016, 20:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny88

Also why is these threads available for the ****ing whole internet to see ? I hardly want people I know checking out threads once they know am on this site.

Has something happened?

newbs16 · #**9195** 13th August 2016, 20:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by flumpsy

^ i totally agree, anything where anything personal is likely to be posted should probably be hidden imo

I agree

purplerose · #**9196** 13th August 2016, 20:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny88

I've been in my room all day too but watched a documentary and read a little bit so don't feel I've been too wasteful but would much rather be doing other things. There is a big, wide world out there and I'm sitting in the little box.
Watching a documentary on the hippy culture and its not making me feel any better

I do aye, a niece and a nephew, both equally adorable and intriguing. Yeah if kids can't lift your mood you know you're depressed lol
By the way has your twin got anxiety?

Yes there is a big wide world out there and we are missing it.
How lucky to have both ! How old are they ?
That's so true! As kids really do say and do some funny things at times.

Yes my twin has anxiety too ! She actually found out first she had SA and then I realised well that's what I have too.
She's more outgoing than me though and always has been. She's always the first to do things which makes me feel useless just because we are twins and people expect us to be at the same level kind of thing.

Professor Willow · #**9197** 13th August 2016, 20:50

Right, time to try and look on the bright side
I managed to drive myself two hundred odd miles and didn't have a mishap (getting lost excepted)
I definitely wouldn't feel so daunted about making another long journey.
My knackered old van proved that it could make it to Plymouth and back with out breaking down, unlike it's owner.
The new clothes I bought for this trip can be used for another.
Maybe this has made me a little bit more determined to try again.

purplerose · #**9198** 13th August 2016, 20:51

^ that's brilliant you can see the positives to the situation.

Professor Willow · #**9199** 13th August 2016, 20:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by purplerose

^ that's brilliant you can see the positives to the situation.

Trouble is I can be a bit of a glutton for punishment, I'm wondering about trying to go to Southampton on the 28th or maybe go compact and bijou and try Totnes pride in September, or am I just setting myself up for another fall

I think if I plan where I'm going better rather than trying to wing it that will reduce the stress a lot.

Professor Willow · #**9200** 13th August 2016, 21:03

I wish I was straight

Purplerose say she can be bought with food

Professor Willow · #**9201** 13th August 2016, 21:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny88

What date is totnes one? Southampton is too early for me especially when so far away, I'll end up stranded again lol

Totnes is even further away from you than Southampton, I'm sure it's 3rd of September but it's definitely a small affair.

newbs16 · #**9202** 13th August 2016, 21:13

My niece watches some rubbish on YouTube.

purplerose · #**9203** 13th August 2016, 21:19

^^^^^^ well she's a girl she has to be at least a little bit bossy

bless her ! I really need to curb my swearing as I dont want my niece growing up hearing me swear.

Yes she has the baby and she has recently moved into her own home too, so she has everything going on.

I think being a twin in some ways helped me eg. Having someone to start school with so we were never alone but in other ways I was so used to having her to do everything with that I feel lost now as I don't like doing stuff alone.

Do you have lots of sisters ? I have a brother too so I feel lucky I have a brother and a sister.

purplerose · #**9204** 13th August 2016, 21:21

Yep in Nortamptonshire, have you even heard of it ?
Most people stare at me blankLy when I say I'm from Northamptonshire.

anxiouslondoner · #**9205** 13th August 2016, 21:21

Why don't I do anything on weekends any more.
I'm utterly useless. There's no reason for me to exist.
Somebody switch my brain off.

Professor Willow · #**9206** 13th August 2016, 21:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by purplerose

Yep in Nortamptonshire, have you even heard of it ?
Most people stare at me blankLy when I say I'm from Northamptonshire.

Where is Northamptonshire? Is it up north?

Professor Willow · #**9207** 13th August 2016, 21:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by D1662

Where is Northamptonshire? Is it up north?

Just googled it, it's in the middle of nowhere, above Cambridge and oxford.

purplerose · #**9208** 13th August 2016, 21:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by D1662

I wish I was straight

Purplerose say she can be bought with food

Quote:

Originally Posted by D1662

Where is Northamptonshire? Is it up north?

No more down south.

purplerose · #**9209** 13th August 2016, 21:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by D1662

Just googled it, it's in the middle of nowhere, above Cambridge and oxford.

yep the middle of nowhere

purplerose · #**9210** 13th August 2016, 21:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny88

You insinuating my Mam was a floozy?

No just the two thank god.

Don't worry when we get together we'll have all that going on as well hahaha maybe two babies in quick succession lmao

Aye I just felt like the outcast of our family lol later on anyway. I miss how we got on as kids.

Oh I do sometimes slip up with swear words. She just giggles and I turn around and say who the hell just said that

oh no I wasn't saying that !!

two ! Are you carrying and pushing out these babies ?

So if she starts swearing it's all your fault

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny88

Yeah, its where northampton is

I'm sure I stopped there on train once and I can't remember the hell why. It might have been peterborough stop. That is in Northamptonshire isn't it or not far?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny88

Funny you should say that, I always think it is closer to me than it actually is.

well done you ! I'm a good half an hour away from northampton though.
Peterborough is quite a way away from northampton I would say.