You know you're getting old when..

[choirgirl]

I think my issue seems to be something to do with accumulated trauma. I'm just reading about this (it's a rather heavy topic so I can only manage so much at once.) But that does seem to fit. So it's probably some kind of trauma in your formative years, plus (in my case) subsequent trauma/shitty things happening on top of that that push you to the point where you stop living and start existing, and just get stuck.

I was stuck for about ten years (at an age when it seems everybody else is building a life and becoming more confident in themselves). Then I got unstuck, but not enough, and now I'm stuck again. It's not that I did nothing to try and better my situation in the mid 20s to mid 30s years, but I didn't really maintain forward momentum sufficiently to get unstuck, largely because of social anxiety that would get better and worse in an endless cycle. And probably some other dark and murky stuff residing in my subconscious! And, to be frank, laziness. (Which is funny, because I was quite a motivated person when I was young!) Oh, and the endless self-doubt, a constant companion in my youth, which has improved with age. Maybe I should be doing this, not that, maybe I do just need to try harder, maybe I'm wrong and everybody else is right, maybe this other person knows more than I do, they seem so confident etc etc. Jesus Christ. And in my case I'm sure there's neurodivergence going on. I think I could have coped with either the neurodivergence or the trauma, but not both at once. And I'm very lucky that my early childhood was good because otherwise I don't know what kind of mess I'd be in.

I got partially unstuck because of a) panicking about my age and then b) panicking about the way the world was going and feeling, oh society doesn't care if I go and die in a ditch if I can't function normally 100% of the time and rents keep going up at the same time, great, which alerted my panic response. I'm a survival orientated person, not a 'FOMO' person. It would be nice to be both, but apparently I'm not. (I feel like society has become more composed of FOMO people, but that's another topic.)

I do agree with Greg that the age thing can be motivating but it doesn't seem to be consistently working for me at present. And it has to consistently work for me to get anywhere. It's the same with social anxiety. I have to be able to consistently manage it to get any sustained progress. The other problem I always have, is that feeling panicky is draining. One needs something else to keep going I think.

I agree there is a vividness to youth, where the good things are so good, and the bad things are so bad. And you don't get that back. (I suppose some people get a little feeling of it through their young children.) I think one needs something good to replace it with.

That was all very self-indulgent and long and rambly, I know!

[Mr. Nobody]

You accidentally push the 'selfie' button when trying to take a picture on your phone and then recoil in horror at the image you see before you.

[choirgirl]

When your pop culture references are really out of date. I find myself wanting to quote Clueless and even Pulp Fiction. I just have to stop myself.

[gregarious_introvert]

^ Those references are a bit recent for me!

^^ That has nothing to do with age, I've recoiled in horror at my image all my life (I wouldn't allow my photograph to be taken as a child), although I didn't take my first selfie until I was 56, so I understand what you mean.

[Marco]

^^^I know what you mean! Somehow phone cameras seem to pick out and magnify every crease and fold on an ageing face to a far greater and crueller degree than any mirror.

[Mr. Nobody]

you have to take strong painkillers for something and then suddenly realise that it's only now that your body feels like it used to 20 years ago

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Kooky Monster

You have to employ a cushion if you plan on kneeling down for more than 3 minutes. Wrapping Xmas pressies on the floor ain't as easy as it used to be.

I can relate to this. Kneeling on the floor isn't what it used to be.

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Dougella

^ I don't think everyone feels that way, and I think your mindset has a lot to do with how your life is and how you feel as you get older.

I was miserable when I was 18, I knew nothing, I was scared and I had no idea how anything would ever get any better. Now at 35 (edit, I forgot I'm now 36. A sign of getting older is you don't know how old you are anymore lol) I feel happier than I ever did when I was younger! I know myself better, I have people in my life that I didn't know then and are a very positive influence.

I'm older than you (39), you're a whipper snapper compared to me.

[Dougella]

^ Atleast you can remember how old you are

[Percy]

^Senile dementure kicking in is it?

[Dougella]

^ It seems to be!

[choirgirl]

I keep forgetting how old I am too. I just know I'm the wrong side of 40!

[Percy]

You're older than me. I always assumed you were younger.

[choirgirl]

^^^That's because I got stunted.

[choirgirl]

^^^Yes. I still have tapes from my teenage years. (CDs were too expensive.) I got rid of a lot of stuff when we moved house but I have a box of cassette tapes. Just so I can look at it once every three years and remember ... what? I Some of them are worth a tenner on ebay though, so that's quite cool. I could sell them. I do periodically reduce things, but I am thinking of going full on razed earth with the stuff. Was putting it off until I moved out (along with ... nearly everything.)I'm never going to have a bourgeois lifestyle, surrounded my by accumulated stuff. So the answer to this ramble is ... I don't know.

[Dougella]

^ I have some tapes too and a Walkman. I figure it may be useful at some point

[choirgirl]

^I have nothing to play them on!

[Rocket Spud]

^ That's .... quite ...... well ... ..

[Rocket Spud]

Yes! It's a bloody shame.. !

[Azalea]

Originally Posted by Kooky Monster

When you make a cup of tea, bring it in the living room and go to put it on the table where a newly brewed cuppa is already sitting

Or let it go cold, open the microwave to warm it up and spot the last one you warmed up still sitting there.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by choirgirl

^I have nothing to play them on!

I also have a stereo with a tape player in it. See this is why keeping things sometimes pays off

[choirgirl]

^I think consumerism is genuinely enjoyable when you're a child, or teen, or young adult but less so with age. Partly because you have stuff already. It's like - stuff, what else do you have to offer me, life? Very wise decision.

[Asymmetric Being]

Originally Posted by faceless crime

.....The more repulsive the unthinking consumerism of Christmas seems. Couple of friends were all upset this year since i only asked for things i could eat and drink as gifts and emphasized that i would rly appreciate not getting any 'surprise extras' (having a massive clearout atm plus I'm tired of accumulating stuff i dont need/want)

Now I have all this delicious booze and cheese and chocolate to try and i can recycle all the packaging
Doing this every year now, very sexy decision on my part.

I love getting foodie gifts, I don’t get them that often though so I like your idea for next year!

After the year we’ve all had I have felt uncomfortable about presents as I feel I should appreciate what I already have (and I do!). I felt much better getting smaller gifts for people. I put just as much thought into them though. Some were happy with that, others, I suspect, weren’t, but heyho!

[Tubbs]

My Valentine's present is going to be an electric fire! 👵🧶 (You can get some nice looking ones these days though!)

[Dougella]

^ That sounds like a great present to me!


When you start to think your mother might be right about the benefits of thermal vests.

[Tubbs]

Originally Posted by Dougella

^ That sounds like a great present to me!

I know right! I'm always chilly 🥶

^ I LOVE my hot water bottle! I like to tuck it under my jumper.

[Percy]

I got a microwavable minion for christmas, can't beat that for toasty warm.

[Percy]

Just thought i'd confuse the hell out of everyone

[MissKatie]

Phew I'm definitely struggling these days with stamina.
I'm as strong as I ever was but the days of me getting up early ready to jump into action are diminishing.

Lol I usually lay in bed whilst the alarm screams at me, lamenting how much my body aches í*¾í´£

[choirgirl]

I don't think I've ever been raring to go at 6 am! It tended to involve treating myself like a robot. I used to have terrible sleep problems so I associate that with being young.