Have you ever known someone who disappeared without trace

[Orwell20]

I was listening to an interesting phone in earlier about people who disappear. You know, X went to buy an ice cream and no one ever saw him again.

Several people had interesting stories. One said that her uncle went to the shop to buy a newspaper when he was 18 and just vanished. Years later, when his mum died, the family paid a private detective to look for him and it turned out he'd emigrated to the USA! He was still alive and living in Texas. Another person said her mum had gone for a jog when she was a toddler and was never seen again. A third said her brother had a row with his wife, stormed out of the house and was never seen again either. It's so creepy and weird (and kind of fascinating). I mentioned it to my mum and she just told me that a girl she was a school with vanished while at university. Everyone thought she was dead. 20 years later she turned up in Italy, where she'd been living for years and was married with kids!!

Do you know of anyone who just vanished like that?

[Percy]

One of the lads i went to school with has apparently vanished without a trace.

[Rocket Spud]

Prince Andrew.

[Jam do Bronx]

My hopes and dreams.

Which probably emigrated to Texas also.

[Moksha]

I have never known anyone disappear without trace. I agree, though, it is weirdly fascinating. I remember a woman who lived opposite me as a kid. One day she walked out of her marriage and sort of disappeared. Her husband was a bully and control freak, so she was basically running away. She got in touch with her children though.

My friend had an uncle who lived with them. One day he had a fight with my friend's dad, and then upped and left. My friend never saw him again, and no one knows if he's alive or dead (this was in the late 1980s). But I wouldn't say he vanished. He just drifted away to London.

In the vast majority of cases, it's nothing sinister or creepy. It's just people who can't stand their wife/husband anymore, or people who've had kids and can't bear the noise and stress. I could imagine my dad's mum doing that. She was a horrible, selfish little woman without a maternal bone in her body. If she'd met a rich man, who promised her a better life in Australia, I could imagine her telling my grandfather she was just going to the shops and then vanishing without a trace, certainly when my dad was little and they had no money.

[Sunrise]

I've sort-of done it myself before, although there are a handful of family members who have always known my whereabouts so I'm not sure it really counts. There's been a few occasions where I've cut all contact with people, disappeared without prior warning and never seen them ever again. I wonder if they think I've vanished without trace?

[Orwell20]

Originally Posted by Sunrise

I've sort-of done it myself before, although there are a handful of family members who have always known my whereabouts so I'm not sure it really counts. There's been a few occasions where I've cut all contact with people, disappeared without prior warning and never seen them ever again. I wonder if they think I've vanished without trace?

Yeah, I've done this too. I've completely cut friends and even sexual partners - just stopped replying to their texts and vanished from their life. They've always been people who lived far enough away that I will never bump into them. Weirdly, I get a strange thrill out of it. I suspect it's part of my avoidant personality disorder.

[Dougella]

^ That's known as ghosting by the "young people".

[Tubbs]

Originally Posted by Sunrise

There's been a few occasions where I've cut all contact with people, disappeared without prior warning and never seen them ever again. I wonder if they think I've vanished without trace?

I've never really thought about it in that way, but since leaving secondary school I've had zero contact with the skidmarks who were there at the same time as me. (I mean, I'm sure they're not all skidmarks, but there were more than a few bad apples.) In the years since, I've made sure I'm not findable online, and if I saw any of them in the street I'd run a mile. I can't forgive being bullied every day and I don't want to 'catch up'; nor can I bear the thought of being gossiped about by people who thought school was all a big laugh. Does anyone else feel this way?

[Percy]

^Hell yes.

[Counterpoint]

My cousin disappeared off the face of the earth. We are all quite converned about him. His sister got into some serious trouble (that's putting it mildly given the nature of what happened) and she is now in jail. I think it messed with her brother's head a bit.

[biscuits]

^ I was thinking, nope...but you saying that has made me remember that one of my cousins disappeared and no one knows where he is. The sad thing is that my uncle died and he might not even know about it. He's lived in quite a few different countries, so he could be anywhere.

[Counterpoint]

^Come to think of it, lots of people might probably say the same thing about us!!

"Do you remember that weird, quiet kid at school who used to play the piano? Whatever happened to him?!"

"Or that friendly person who draws cool cat Jiji avatars? Anyone know what they're doing now?"

[Professor Willow]

No I have never known someone who has disappeared without trace, however I do know several people who I would like to disappear without a trace.

[Percy]

^ You and me both