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Old 9th June 2023, 18:37
BritishPeace BritishPeace is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North West
Posts: 1,462


Default I went backwards, I "lapsed" but not "re-lapsed"

I've been doing very well with my social anxiety lately, but I lapsed today, however I must learn from it.

There is boxing in Liverpool for people with mental health problems. I went today. I stood outside for a couple of minutes but went inside. I could hear people punching punchbags inside so felt nervous also. The professional boxer there (called Derry Matthews) said "are you hear for box well (or whatever it is called)?" I said "yes" a lady asked my name, I said "James".

Derry and these girls walked over to all these about 12 men punching bags and working out, I felt a bit inferior. Derry said "put on some gloves or if you have your own wear them and punch the bags." I presumed he thinks that I am a boxer because of my physique and looks when I am not.

I looked at the gloves on the floor and felt the pressure in me build and then I walked out. I went back home.

I wanted to go to this boxing for so long so why did I leave. I analysed the situation and I think that because I have not been boxing before I would not know what I was doing and would look stupid. I would be the only one in the group to not know how to punch the bags etc which would be embarrassing. I did feel a bit unwelcomed too but that is not major

My action plan is that I will go back again and say I do not know how to use these gloves or punch a bag will you show me how to do it. I will try again next week to attend.
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Old 9th June 2023, 19:08
Percy Percy is online now
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Southampton
Posts: 10,150


Default Re: I went backwards, I "lapsed" but not "re-lapsed"

Boxing will do you a world of good. I boxed years ago and am going back to it soon. It's an excellent self defense/combatives system. You learn to hit hard, take punches, react under adrenal stress, get very fit, face some fears of violence and generally learn some good self defence skills. I'm always recommending boxing for those scared of violent assault.
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Old 9th June 2023, 19:41
biscuits biscuits is online now
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: in the tin.
Posts: 7,372
Default Re: I went backwards, I "lapsed" but not "re-lapsed"

That's a good plan, BP. It can feel overwhelming when you try new stuff and feel eyes on you. It can feel like a lot to process in a short amount of time. It's good that you've gone away and thought about how to re-approach it next time.

Hope all goes well when you go back next week.
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Old 9th June 2023, 19:47
Sunrise Sunrise is offline
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,037
Default Re: I went backwards, I "lapsed" but not "re-lapsed"

I've found people who are really into combat sports tend to fall into two categories: Those who look like proper nasty bastards but are actually the kindest, most supportive people you could ever wish to meet; and those who look like proper nasty bastards and are proper nasty bastards. I wouldn't mind doing more stuff like that, but one of the blokes who runs stuff local to me definitely falls into the latter category and is such a horrible bully who I've had encounters with in the past and I would rather avoid at all costs. It's really annoying actually as I wouldn't mind trying it but I can't stand this one person.

I don't want to stereotype but a Liverpool boxing gym is a place a lot of people would find a bit intimidating so I don't think there's any shame in that. It sounds like something you really want to do though so I think you should go back and try again. If it's something aimed at people with mental health issues they should be patient and understanding. Places like that do a lot of good for people. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but you can't deny that they help a lot of people who are struggling.
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