How is everyone feeling? (31)

[Dougella]

^ I'm so sorry . I hope your Mum is able to come home and be comfortable with you and your family around her.

[Consolida]

^ The hospital bed has arrived and she is due back some time this evening
I've bought some pretty bedding and have been putting lots of fresh flowers in vases around the room. Also some hyacinths that should smell lovely when they are fully open. I just hope my mum is alert enough to notice

I feel kind of excited that she is going to be back home but so scared about the days ahead

[Azalea]

^ I'm so glad you're getting your mum home

[Dougella]

^^ I'm sure she will really appreciate it. Will nurses be coming to help care for her?

[Consolida]

^^^ Thank you Azalea

@ Dougella - MacMillan Nurses will come for up to an hour in the morning, then at lunchtime, and again at teatime but I shall be there most of the time anyway. I know it should be the least of my worries, but I'm apprehensive about having to make conversation with strangers. I'm hopeless with that at the best of times.

@ Lee - I don't think breaking a tooth is trivial at all, but it's something that you can hopefully get fixed.

[Dougella]

^^ That's good, I'm sure they will mostly be concerned with your Mum and her care and not expecting you to make conversation.

[Merritt]

^ Has something happened to make you want to hurt yourself? I'm sure you know well enough that drinking isn't the best thing to do in that situation, so I won't tell you not to, but at least try to go easy on it? I hope it'll at least make you drowsy and give you a chance to sleep off the feeling (the best solution for SH urges, in my experience)

@Consolida - It's a wonderful thing you're doing for your mum, giving her the chance to be comfortable with family

[biscuits]

^^ is there anyone you can be with right now?

I've missed your posts, Dean Winchester

[Consolida]

@ Dean Winchester - I hope you managed to resist the urge to hurt yourself
Has something happened to make you feel this way? I'm hoping that after a good nights sleep things may seem a little less bleak. Look after yourself


@ Dougella - I shouldn't have worried because the hospice Nurses that came a round in the evening were lovely.


@ Merritt - Thank you, that means a lot x



Feeling quite helpless at the moment. Ended up summoning my husband in the middle of the night as my mum had become very agitated and confused. We've given her some morphine and Paracetamol (as the Nurses had advised us to do) and this seems to have settled her a little. It's not comfy sleeping on my mum's sofa but I'm so tired I think, for once, I could drop off anywhere

[anxiouslondoner]

^ sorry to hear you are going through so much Consolida.

[Consolida]

^^ Thank you AL x

^ Aw well done on making that difficult phone call, Lee, it's something I struggle with too as do so many SA sufferers I think. I hope you get that tooth fixed soon and no more eating Rocky chocolate bars!

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Dean Winchester

Apart from making myself rather ill from booze, no harm done. Thank you to all repliers.

Some of the stuff Ive had to deal with is truly beyond description and i think its finally starting to all collapse around me. Very erratic and fragile thses days, breaking down/spiraling at literally anything. Scared for myself.
Going to spend next few days researching private trauma counselling.

Looking into support you can get, even if you have to go private, sounds like a good idea. You shouldn't have to struggle through this on your own.

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by Dean Winchester

Apart from making myself rather ill from booze, no harm done. Thank you to all repliers.

Some of the stuff Ive had to deal with is truly beyond description and i think its finally starting to all collapse around me. Very erratic and fragile thses days, breaking down/spiraling at literally anything. Scared for myself.
Going to spend next few days researching private trauma counselling.

I'm so sorry you're going through a really difficult time right now and hope that you manage to find a trauma counsellor who will be able to give you the help and support that you need.
In the meantime, don't forget that you've always got this place if you need to vent



I'm feeling emotionally and physically drained and to add to the awfulness of the day I'm suffering with withdrawal symptoms from tapering off the Benzo's

People have visited who haven't visited in years - odd how some people only bother with folk once they're on their death bed - and the social anxiety has pretty much taken a back seat to all of the other unpleasant emotions. Also, to add insult to injury, I'm suffering with a bad flare up of my plantar fasciitis (sore feet!). I think a night of sleeping on this sofa might not help matters.

[Tubbs]

^ I'm so sorry for what you're going through Consolida, but glad that your mum is home with you at last. You're doing brilliantly with tapering off the benzos, it's not something I have experience of myself but it sounds hellish even in normal circumstances. Look after yourself

[Mellie]

feeling very anxious about meeting my new house mates tomorrow and finally leaving hospital on Monday!

[Chess&Junkfood]

Dean I'm sorry to hear that, Dean. I hope things get better for you soon!


Consolida I want to echo Tubbs post, Consolida! Please look after yourself!


Mellie I hope the move goes well for you, Mellie!

[Mellie]

Thanks chess!

[Mo34]

Tired, gone back to work after some time off, but immediately thrown into covering extra hours for ppl off with covid. Also extra hours for training/workshops.

Have missed being on sauk, have had a time away. Think since Sept? Oct?

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Consolida

I'm feeling emotionally and physically drained and to add to the awfulness of the day I'm suffering with withdrawal symptoms from tapering off the Benzo's

People have visited who haven't visited in years - odd how some people only bother with folk once they're on their death bed - and the social anxiety has pretty much taken a back seat to all of the other unpleasant emotions. Also, to add insult to injury, I'm suffering with a bad flare up of my plantar fasciitis (sore feet!). I think a night of sleeping on this sofa might not help matters.

I'm sorry to hear what your going through . Yeah it's hard having to deal with 'long lost' family/friends when family are seriously ill. Though sometimes old ties bind, I hadn't seen one of my uncles for 15 plus years (just cause of geography) but still felt concerned when he was ill and moved when he died.

It is a lot to cope with SA wise though when you have to deal with lots of ppl that otherwise you don't know. I know from when my dad was ill/passed away, I was fortunate my dads youngest sister took over and called all the family to let them know what was going on.

[Consolida]

^ Thank you Mo
Btw, it's lovely to see you posting here again, I hope you stay


@ Tubbs - Thank you so much for your kind message, and you too Chess&Junkfood


@ The Devil Probably - I try to think the best of people if I can, so I shall go with the generous interpretation.



I feel like a zombie right now and don't know how I'm surviving on so little sleep. I hope this zombie like state lasts for a considerable while longer because it's a much better state to be in than the one of abject despair.

[Chess&Junkfood]

Welcome back, Mo! It's great to see you back on the forum!

[Consolida]

So very sad. When the visitors were here I was okay, but now it's quiet and it's just me and mum, who is pretty much dozing 24/7, my mind goes to a very bleak place.

[Dougella]

^

[Chess&Junkfood]

^^

[Consolida]

^/^^ Thanks for the hugs

Feeling slightly more refreshed today. I've been sleeping on a sofa for the past few nights to be close to my mum but last night my husband slept on the sofa and I slept upstairs in a bed. My legs and feet are a lot less achey today. I'll insist on sleeping on the sofa tonight and shall never take a comfy bed for granted again.

[3stacks]

Anxious. I get too attached to people and then my anxiety gets intense thinking that they don't like me or that they will find better people and then I ruin the friendship by constantly wanting reassurance. It's so so tiring to be like this but once the anxiety starts it just gets too intense and I can't handle it. I feel more peaceful alone but crave connection but connection drives me crazy

Sent from my SM-G988B using Tapatalk

[Percy]

Originally Posted by Mellie

feeling very anxious about meeting my new house mates tomorrow and finally leaving hospital on Monday!

Glad to hear you're leaving hospital Mellie

[Consolida]

^ Oh that's a pity that your tooth can't be saved, but it's great they your Dentist was kind and understanding about your anxiety and managed to put you at your ease.

I've been told that I have a small mouth too but, like you, I'm able to stuff plenty of food into it!


I'm feeling so sad.
Perhaps understandably my mum has had enough of it all and says that she just wants to go. I try to give her a little food and drink but she is refusing it and tells me to leave her alone as she doesn't want to carry on anymore. I can't say I blame her, but it breaks my heart. What a miserable way for a human being to spend their last days/weeks

I'm sorry for my constant miserable posts on the forum, I should probably stop posting.

[limey123]

Originally Posted by Lee S

Ta







Don't apologise for posting, you need the support more than ever. I have lost people close to me but I reckon our mums have got to be among the absolute worst to lose. You are doing the best you can and your mum is lucky to have a daughter like you.

Totally agree with this. You're doing the right thing Consolida and all you can do to help your mum. I was there in my mother's final days/weeks and all you can do is your best. When it's their time, it's their time. Above all, make sure she knows you all love her dearly - tell her every day, no, every hour. When the time comes for her to cross over, this knowledge will be so precious to her.

[SpectralOwls]

^ I agree. This forum is full of really supportive and understanding folks. Do everything you need right now. We understand how hard things are. Please take care of yourself.