Do you experience terror of dying? Please respond.

[jessicamary]

Yeah as wheelie bin, can relate, although totally destroyed as you wrote, death simply becomes an acceptance, its like you just need to prepare, esp when you have children of your own. Not a taboo, just a reality, which in the case of if you have children a necessity.

[Emski]

I used to worry about it all the time, every day every second.
i saw it like this and told people how one day you're just not in the world no more, cars are still driving down motor ways, flowers are still growing, people going to work, just little things that make you think I'm never coming back in this world, its going to go on without me, and I'm never EVER coming back? the end of me, would be the end of the world. Centuries after you've passed, you're still not coming back, you don't know whats happening on the news, you don't know how family and friends are getting on, even Whether the world has ended yet. YOUR JUST NEVER COMING BACK!

Sorry to be so morbid, but its something that we all have to face up to whether we like it or not, people used to agree with me when i told them how i felt about death, i used to feel so strongly about it, im glad there is a thread about this, even though its very upsetting.

I've come to realize now though that this world can be sickening, and we are all better of up in the sky looking down away from any harm.

You may think i have wrote aloud of crap, but death is waiting for us, and i don't think people are prepared for it.

[Worried]

Aye I get these thoughts too. Just irrational fear. You start thinking about it and then you really embrace the idea of you or your family member dieing. Horrible.

[TheInbetweener]

All the worrying I do and have done in the past, ive never once been scared to die. Doesnt scare me in the slightest.

[Wings]

never worry about myself dying but i'm scared for the people i care about

[STRING3R]

I think everyone is scared of dying.

It's the end of your self awareness, and the human mind just cannot come to terms with being in a state of non existance.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by STRING3R

I think everyone is scared of dying.

It's the end of your self awareness, and the human mind just cannot come to terms with being in a state of non existance.

This might sound stupid but I think I have because when I had my dog put down I watched him go from alive, all shiny eyed to dead with this glazed eye look. He was so very still and obviously lifeless.

And I can see why people believe in souls leaving the body because he just became an inanimate object as opposed to a living breathing thing and it was almost as if you could imagine his soul/energy leaving his body. But it helped me come to terms with death in that you realise that one minute you're there the next minute you're gone. On or off. Nothing after, just dead, finito. Like turning the power off on your PC. I could imagine if you've witnessed a lot of death it would change you and you'd be able to accept it much more readily. Obviously that's just my view and everyone has their own ways of thinking about these things. But I definitely think it's just alive or dead/nothing.

Then my dad passed away last year and we went to say our goodbyes in the hospital. We'd been visiting him regularly and to see him alive the day before, well it was weird looking at him there so still but it was easier for me to cope with having seen the process once before. I felt bad for my little sister as she was actually there when he died. She was pretty upset as you can imagine

[Lazarus]

Originally Posted by d1n9

never worry about myself dying but i'm scared for the people i care about

Same here

[catlover]

Originally Posted by diplodocus

This might sound stupid but I think I have because when I had my dog put down I watched him go from alive, all shiny eyed to dead with this glazed eye look. He was so very still and obviously lifeless.

And I can see why people believe in souls leaving the body because he just became an inanimate object as opposed to a living breathing thing and it was almost as if you could imagine his soul/energy leaving his body. But it helped me come to terms with death in that you realise that one minute you're there the next minute you're gone.

I experienced the same thing when I brought my cat into the vet's office to have her euthanized. I was present in the doctor's office as he administered the shot and then took the body home with me to bury it outside. It is quite a shock to witness the sudden disappearance of the life force.

But somehow the experience made me more accepting of death. (Again I say this at a point in my life at which I'm not dealing with any terminal illness.)

I think part of the reason that people are fearful of death is because the modern lifestyle has insulated us from it.

[catlover]

Originally Posted by likeme

Just can't seem to feel better this evening ....it's ridiculous
but thanks for the replies

No, it's not at all ridiculous; you're dealing with a problem that has probably plagued mankind since it achieved self-awareness.

And regarding the afterlife, I would imagine that the widespread belief in it has a lot to do with our inability to contemplate our own non-existence. So rest assured that you are not alone in your fears.

[Wheelie Bin Bird]

Originally Posted by diplodocus

This might sound stupid but I think I have because when I had my dog put down I watched him go from alive, all shiny eyed to dead with this glazed eye look. He was so very still and obviously lifeless.

And I can see why people believe in souls leaving the body because he just became an inanimate object as opposed to a living breathing thing and it was almost as if you could imagine his soul/energy leaving his body. But it helped me come to terms with death in that you realise that one minute you're there the next minute you're gone. On or off. Nothing after, just dead, finito. Like turning the power off on your PC. I could imagine if you've witnessed a lot of death it would change you and you'd be able to accept it much more readily. Obviously that's just my view and everyone has their own ways of thinking about these things. But I definitely think it's just alive or dead/nothing.

Then my dad passed away last year and we went to say our goodbyes in the hospital. We'd been visiting him regularly and to see him alive the day before, well it was weird looking at him there so still but it was easier for me to cope with having seen the process once before. I felt bad for my little sister as she was actually there when he died. She was pretty upset as you can imagine

This is why I insisted on seeing my nan and dad in the chaple of rest before their funerals. As I thought maybe it'd help me realise what had happend and come to terms with it...It worked for me with my nan. But not my dad. It wasn't him. I was convinced it was a cruel practical joke and he wasn't realy dead (weird I know) And I still think now I'll see him in the street somewhere. (Katie in denial? YES!)
However I didn't see mum in the chaple as I'd watched her die and she was so wasted as it was I wanted to remember what little I could of the 'old' Cathy.


I'm not scred of death in the sense of the pain I may suffer it's just leaving my kids and my sister...I'd feel as if I'd let them down somehow.

Ok I don't want to die. But I can't prevent it.

All I do know is. Mine aint too far off!

[catlover]

Originally Posted by likeme

I have experienced a feeling of horror at the fact I will one day cease to exist for eternity. Death makes everything feel pointless, meaningless and utterly bizarre. I do not have any religious or spiitual beliefs. I hate these words as I type them.

I've had the same feelings on many occasions.

I guess I rationalize the whole thing as follows: Before I was born I didn't exist. I didn't ask to be born; I had no choice in the matter. Similarly, I have no choice as to whether or not I'm going to die. And after I die (assuming no afterlife, which I'm not actually sure about) I will return to that same state of nonexistence.

But that doesn't make my present life meaningless, because my present-day actions have an impact on other people, on animals, and on the environment. Yes it's true that those people and animals will also die someday, but they're alive now and suffering now and loving now.

Why would a life be made meaningless by its death? Are the only things that matter the things that live on forever? To me a life has value regardless of how short-lived it is.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by Wheelie Bin Bird

This is why I insisted on seeing my nan and dad in the chaple of rest before their funerals. As I thought maybe it'd help me realise what had happend and come to terms with it...It worked for me with my nan. But not my dad. It wasn't him. I was convinced it was a cruel practical joke and he wasn't realy dead (weird I know) And I still think now I'll see him in the street somewhere. (Katie in denial? YES!)

I get that too with an old friend of mine. I keep thinking I see him in a passing car or walking down the street I've stared at a few people before until I realised it weren't him. I had a thing where I thought he might have faked his death for a bit.

Originally Posted by Wheelie Bin Bird

I'm not scred of death in the sense of the pain I may suffer it's just leaving my kids and my sister...I'd feel as if I'd let them down somehow.

Yeah must be totally different when you have kids.

Originally Posted by Wheelie Bin Bird

All I do know is. Mine aint too far off!

Don't be silly!

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by catlover

I think part of the reason that people are fearful of death is because the modern lifestyle has insulated us from it.

Yes I agree. The fact that we are living longer too. If we lived in a society where the average age of death was 35 then we'd be much more familiar with it and I'd assume more accepting of it.

Originally Posted by catlover

Why would a life be made meaningless by its death? Are the only things that matter the things that live on forever? To me a life has value regardless of how short-lived it is.

I feel this way too. In fact if anything the fact that I will be gone not that long in the future (relatively) makes me feel my time alive is even more important. People who have near death experiences often remark how it totally changes their outlook on life.

[Saponara_Immobile]

Also I get it sometimes when I see an old person in the street, like this terror rushes through me. It's interesting what people are saying about having had to deal with death at some point, cos all my grandparents either died before I was born or when I was young and I barely knew them anyway cos they all lived miles away. So not only did I not have to deal with death but I didn't even have any interactions with any old people, still haven't known any or barely spoken to one my whole life.

[helenjane]

^^^

My grandparents died before i was born or when i was very young also so i have never had to deal with death either and havent been around old people. ive never been to a funeral or been around death and the fact i havent experienced it i think has contributed to the fact that im so fearful of it. When i do experience it, it will hit me like a ton of bricks and i have no idea how i will cope with it

[failquail]

I'm a bit strange on this topic.

Earlier this year i had the worst depression i ever had in my life...
Terror of dying: none really. What terrified me was i knew just how much it would have hurt my friends and family if i died, it would have destroyed my mother in particular.

Really weird position to be in where you care nothing about yourself really, but keep yourself going just to not upset people you know... Still don't know what to make of it, or what it says about me. Not sure that 'not upsetting friends/relatives' is a very good reason to live though

Feel better now, but so scary looking back, realising that other people were the one and only thing keeping me alive in effect o.O

[Ajax Amsterdam]

Originally Posted by likeme

I saw a social worker today and made some attempt to explain to him that I have episodes of death anxiety in my life and I would like to find a way to better deal with these.
He said that he doubted that there were many people who hadn't woken at 2 in the morning feeling afraid and aware of their own death. I said if so many people did do this why didn't they talk about it more. His reponse was that it was a taboo subject precisely because it is frightening for people. He told me I needed to be practical and enjoy life and commented that there are no 'atheists in foxholes'. This is exactly the sort of thing I don't need to hear. It makes me feel like I am being foolish in breaking taboo, like there's this big secret that no one's meant to talk about and I just don't get that. Everyone is living a lie, a shared fallacy, in their denial of the meaning and presence of death.
I don't mean to upset anyone with this. I hope I don't and if I do please tell me. But what this man said upset me. I don't want to live a lie. I don't want to pretend everything is ok when it is not. I don't want to sweep things under the carpet or lock them in the closet. I feel like he was laughing at me and it might be a nice little anecdote of the day to go away and tell his colleagues. Sometimes people get pleasure in talking about these things because it makes them feel they have depth or intelligence. I didn't trust that man and I wish he hadn't said those things. I feel my experiences are belittled. I feel like I'm not supposed to talk about it but it is all I want to talk about. I want to ask the people I work with and friends what they think and feel about dying but I fear I'd be breaking taboo, some great unwritten rule that must not be broken. Makes me feel sick.

I think our culture, generally, has a poor relationship with the one thing in life that is a certainty ... death. We generally tend not to talk about it. Well not until we really have to because we are confronted with it. The subject does frighten a lot of people. I mean death is inevitable, but contemplating it can be very painful for many people.

I think it healthy to talk about it if you feel you want/need to. You are not being ''foolish'' in wanting to talk about it. Although I do think we have to respect others feelings if, for whatever reason, they'd rather not go there themselves. We are all dealing with death anxiety, but some do it through talking, whilst others do it by sweeping it under the carpet until they have to confront it. That's fair enough I think. We all have to deal with things as best we can and in our own way.

Although I wasn't there and do not know the context of his words, I doubt this man was laughing at you. Maybe he was more likely projecting onto you his own strategy for coping with death.

My own take on it is that I do not fear my own death, although I don't want it to come for many years yet. I've got too much living to do. However, the thought of losing those I love often keeps me awake at night. I fear the loss of my loved ones like I fear nothing else.

I've had two people die in my presence. I've seen them fade away as though they are leaving the body and moving on, but I still can't get my head around them being there one minute, then gone the next. I dread the day when that comes again. The fear for me always centres on the loss of others, not my own death. I hope to do a lot more with my time yet, but when my time comes I don't think I'll fear it, especially if I've had a 'good innings'.

[BusterBluth]

I'd say 100% of people feel this way at some point in their life. I've been to 4 funerals and they were all for family members I felt a strong bond with and all within a very close time frame, it definitely knocked me for six. There was a wedding as well in there so it was 4 funerals and a wedding... ha.

It made me realize that although humans are pretty damn hardy life is a fragile thing and I'm always thinking that a car could mount the kerb and crush me at any given moment, it's out of my hands really and that is a scary thought. Anything is possible, for all we know a rogue black hole might appear in our solar system and swallow everything in the blink of an eye, just have to surrender to it I guess.

Not to advocate drug abuse or anything like that but I would recommend smoking Salvia, it's legal in the UK, can order it from a website and have it delivered to your door in an ordinary envelope you'd need a pipe and a blowtorch type lighter though and I'd recommend reading up on it because it's a powerful experience.

I tried the 60x extract as 5x did little for me (the one I tried first) and wow... put it this way I'm now much more open to the idea of a God and reincarnation, this life is just one phase maaaan lol. Sounds like hippy nonsense but I reckon psychedelics could help if used right and Salvia is the easiest to get hold of

[black_mamba]

I am scared of the physical pain of death, but not death itself. Sometimes I do wonder if I should be more afraid.

I used to think that death made everything seem pointless, but look at it from a more positive viewpoint - nothing actually amounts to anything in the end, so it's better to live for yourself, looking after yourself from day to day and not worrying about the end result as long as you're happy.

Surely a life lived for eternity would be worse?

[Eklipse]

Sorry to sound grim but I'm not afraid of my own death. I would embrace it.

[LittleMissMouse]

Don't have a fear of dying as such, when your times up it's up, there's nothing you can do about that. But I am scared of being scared when I die, if that makes sense, or dying in a horrible way like drowning, being trapped in a fire or something like that.

[BusterBluth]

Originally Posted by LittleMissMouse

Don't have a fear of dying as such, when your times up it's up, there's nothing you can do about that. But I am scared of being scared when I die, if that makes sense, or dying in a horrible way like drowning, being trapped in a fire or something like that.

You big wuss... hehe, yeah I know what you mean, drowning must be so bad, being trapped in a fire might be even worse unless the smoke knocked you out.

The one that gets me is when animal handlers finally get turned on by their bears or lions or whatever and get necked, they must feel so silly when those ridiculous fangs sink inside their flesh...

[STRING3R]

Originally Posted by RoseKisses

Sorry to sound grim but I'm not afraid of my own death. I would embrace it.

So you would embrace nothingness?

[BusterBluth]

Originally Posted by STRING3R

So you would embrace nothingness?

Why not? You'd know nothing else. I'd absolutely embrace nothingness because in a way that is uttermost peace

[Ajax Amsterdam]

Originally Posted by STRING3R

So you would embrace nothingness?

Nothingness is only a problem if we are around to experience it. As we won't be, it doesn't matter.

[Spectrelight]

I have no fear of dying at all but I do have a fear of dependancy which is a fate worse than death in my eyes.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by BusterBluth

Why not? You'd know nothing else. I'd absolutely embrace nothingness because in a way that is uttermost peace

Yeah exactly, you wouldn't know, so why would it matter? We've all experienced nothingness anyway, before we were born.

[Wheelie Bin Bird]

Originally Posted by diplodocus

Yeah exactly, you wouldn't know, so why would it matter? We've all experienced nothingness anyway, before we were born.

Understood.

But that is a main if not the the main part of the fear.

Of having all this knowlage, feelings emotion ect then all of a sudden knowing your going to be plunged into literal 'nothingness' Pretty scary if you think about it.

[BusterBluth]

Originally Posted by diplodocus

Yeah exactly, you wouldn't know, so why would it matter? We've all experienced nothingness anyway, before we were born.

And how good was that? It was so good I can't even remember it! my feeble mind can't comprehend how blissful it must have been dragged outta the spirit world into this dump... hehe