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  #1  
Old 28th January 2009, 11:57
AAAli AAAli is offline
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Default The work of byron katie (helped my sa loads)

This is the one self-help/therapy technique that I would recommend for everyone. I believe that this is the best way to get over SA. I know that it works wonders on me, and other SA people that I have been talking to. It completely free, you don't have to buy anything and its very simple, go on give it a try

Quick intro(advertising a dvd but you don't need it to do the work, the work is free):


Also:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvaTBp-8bt8 (shows how a teacher would introduce it to kids)


Definition of The Work: “It’s a way to identify and question the thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world.”

Its similar to cbt but imo more effective. Instead of trying to stop and change your stressful thogughts, you meet them with understanding and question if they are true or not. Its not about stopping you thinking those thoughts its more about not believing them when they come in, when you don't believe them you won't be effected by them. So you allow your thoughts to come in but don't let them effect you


Byron katie on oprah (good intro)

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...deoid=41816274
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...deoid=41991765

First its probably best to watch some videos on people doing the work:
intro:



http://www.thework.com/video_mother.asp
http://uk.youtube.com/user/TheWorkofBK -youtube channel

Now you have seen a few videos on it and want to give it a shot you can read these:
http://www.thework.com/downloads/Little%20Book.pdf
http://www.thework.com/downloads/ins...or_thework.pdf
http://www.thework.com/downloads/facilitationguide.pdf

The work compared to cbt/mindfulness and other therapy

http://www.thework.com/pdf/The_Work_...chotherapy.pdf

Quote:
Originally Posted by richardlcohen
There are elements in it of cognitive therapy
and elements that accord with Buddhist psychology, but Katie,
arriving at these ideas on her own, has instinctively stripped
away the clinical and cultural frills (or perhaps didn't have them
to strip away in the first place) and presented only the core, the
pith, the essence. The reason the Work is so ridiculously simple
on the surface is that she's gotten rid of the decoration.
Other Sites
http://www.byronkatie.com/ (blog)
http://www.sapphyr.net/women/women-q...byronkatie.htm (quotes)

The work for SA
http://janeyfromkorea.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/kopadarm.../3/8zD50nYU12Y

Seriously give this a shot it is helping me quite a bit.
  #2  
Old 28th January 2009, 17:18
simon1989 simon1989 is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

I will look into it, I'v heard of her somewhere but never tried it before, I'm going through so many other thing's at the moment, but il give this a chance, I know her focus isn't PRIMARILY on SA but im sure some of her advice would help in someway or another.

I especially agree with her about living in the moment, It seems very powerful but hard to do in reality.
  #3  
Old 8th January 2010, 20:05
Optimistic Optimistic is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

I've found it useful but to me it's not a therapy in itself but definitely helpful. I find it works well as a companion to CBT therapy since it rationally questions the automatically negative thoughts. To me it completely ties in with it and, I think it could be taught in CBT therapy as another tool to be able to use.
  #4  
Old 14th January 2010, 19:30
Warmer Warmer is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

Thanks for sharing AAAli.

The best thing i've come across is Dr.Richards Overcoming SA step by step. Worked for me and I really felt a difference, then I stopped. CBT takes a serious amount of willpower, especially this one.
  #5  
Old 15th January 2010, 00:06
Bright Bright is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

Wow thanks for putting all this information up AAAli.

I had a look round and really liked this clip about dealing with the feelings of fear..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGZtGfERA5w

So are you sposed to just keep asking these 4 questions over and over until it really starts to resonate?
  #6  
Old 15th January 2010, 00:23
trouble180 trouble180 is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

It definetly makes sense, its very simular the CBT model i was taught.. Ask yourself whether that thought is ' kind, fair or helpful' and the way you expained it AAAli ie. understanding and questioning not stopping and changing is correct as far as i see it. I do have a slight issue with american self help guru's but i think what she says has been expressed by a lot of other people too. I think becoming aware of tension and learning relaxtion techniques that can reduce muscle tension are equally important and also any method of increasing self acceptance and behaving naturally is great( im playing with hypnosis stuff at mo)
  #7  
Old 15th January 2010, 03:09
clawhammer clawhammer is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

hmmm...

must confess, i'm puzzled why anyone would be drawn to the 'teachings' of byron katie? :rolleyes:

it seems the best thing that can be said about her 'work' is that she uses some methods also found in cognitive therapy and mindfulness, which kinda begs the question, wouldn't it be better to seek mindfulness-based CBT instead?

from what i've been reading a LOT of people aren't too happy with her other more dubious, erm, cultish methods:

http://forum.rickross.com/read.php?4,9147,page=1

http://forum.rickross.com/read.php?12,67778

http://forum.rickross.com/read.php?12,12906,page=1
  #8  
Old 15th January 2010, 03:54
trouble180 trouble180 is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

Clawhammer,
Yes, i havent seen those links but can imagine what they would say. It is always best to start with what has been scienficially tested. 'Katie Bryon' is absolutely fine as a stepping stone but what she says is just based around CBT, mindfullness jazzed up to make money.

Hmmm.. actually if i'm honest i'd have to be harsher. She is completely piggybacking on very basic concepts mentioned in CBT. If anyone finds it inspirational then its fine to follow but realistically she is just a spin doctor. I havent seen all those vids or reasearched her properly i have to say. All the best everyone!
  #9  
Old 15th January 2010, 04:20
AAAli AAAli is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bright
Wow thanks for putting all this information up AAAli.

I had a look round and really liked this clip about dealing with the feelings of fear..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGZtGfERA5w

So are you sposed to just keep asking these 4 questions over and over until it really starts to resonate?
I also really liked that video
No not quite, its not really affirmations, you should really feel a change after you have used the questions on a problem once, like the truth is out. Then its just redoing it when it comes up again. If you have to keep questioning the same thing, then there is a belief underneath it which you have not questioned. So try and question the reasons that you think the original negative thought is true and turn them all around.


Quote:
Originally Posted by trouble180
It definetly makes sense, its very simular the CBT model i was taught.. Ask yourself whether that thought is ' kind, fair or helpful' and the way you expained it AAAli ie. understanding and questioning not stopping and changing is correct as far as i see it. I do have a slight issue with american self help guru's but i think what she says has been expressed by a lot of other people too. I think becoming aware of tension and learning relaxtion techniques that can reduce muscle tension are equally important and also any method of increasing self acceptance and behaving naturally is great( im playing with hypnosis stuff at mo)
It is very similar to cbt, but personally I prefer this as its so simple, just 4 questions which after a while stay in your mind. Much quicker than cbt in my experience too. What she says is nothing new, but i highly doubt you are going to get anything 'new' in self help alot of it goes back to eastern teachings etc. I have read alot of self help stuff (including hypnosis, nlp) and alot of the stuff overlap, but thats probably because it works. This is all about self acceptance. Also since ur looking into hypnosis, give nlp a try, I have used some techniques which cleared up some bad momories for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by clawhammer
hmmm...

must confess, i'm puzzled why anyone would be drawn to the 'teachings' of byron katie? :rolleyes:

it seems the best thing that can be said about her 'work' is that she uses some methods also found in cognitive therapy and mindfulness, which kinda begs the question, wouldn't it be better to seek mindfulness-based CBT instead?

from what i've been reading a LOT of people aren't too happy with her other more dubious, erm, cultish methods:

http://forum.rickross.com/read.php?4,9147,page=1

http://forum.rickross.com/read.php?12,67778

http://forum.rickross.com/read.php?12,12906,page=1
lol, those post are quite funny, about mind reading etc its not a cult imo and I think dismissing it as a cult just means that you won't get to give it a proper try
I just use all the free stuff +youtube so I don't see it having much of a cult effect on me, and I have been using it over a year.
Also all religions etc are cults and they help people.
its much simpler than learning cbt + mindfulness, and mindfulness is nowhere near as easy as the 4 questions. Thats my reason anyway. I'm not exactly trying to get people to join a cult

But if you do actually look into the work properly i'm sure u will also find those posts quite funny.

Quote:
Originally Posted by trouble180
Clawhammer,
Yes, i havent seen those links but can imagine what they would say. It is always best to start with what has been scienficially tested. 'Katie Bryon' is absolutely fine as a stepping stone but what she says is just based around CBT, mindfullness jazzed up to make money.

Hmmm.. actually if i'm honest i'd have to be harsher. She is completely piggybacking on very basic concepts mentioned in CBT. If anyone finds it inspirational then its fine to follow but realistically she is just a spin doctor. I havent seen all those vids or reasearched her properly i have to say. All the best everyone!
Well she still give you everything you need for free on her site.

Plus videos for people actually changing there beliefs! you wouldn't see that with cbt. Cbt is alot of different techniques and trying to use them on the spot is not easy, this is much easier in my experience.
I have absolutely no problem with people making money out of something that works.
There are many sa cbt books that are doing the exact same thing just calling it cbt instead of 'thework' or whatever . Its not as if i haven't done cbt myself, went through the whole dr. richards course and read 2 or 3 books on it.
Also i have never found mindfulness or meditation or staying in the present easy. So prefer this as it has the same result.

Whatever works for you tho :D It would be a shame not to give it a try. especially over those cult claims
  #10  
Old 15th January 2010, 13:46
clawhammer clawhammer is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

I've been delving deeper into the background of Byron Katie.

The story goes that she awoke one morning in 1986 to the sensation of a cockroach crawling across her foot. As she explains in one of her books, "It was as if something else had woken up. It opened its eyes. It was looking through Katie's eyes ... it was intoxicated with joy." In that moment, she claims, the 'four questions' appeared in her consciousness.

These 'four questions' form the hub of what she calls "The Work", and the aim of the four questions is to lead to what she calls "The Turnaround". Ever since that morning with the cockroach, she claims to have never again experienced anger or sadness.

She says "The Work" is not a therapy or spiritual practice, but claims it can end all suffering!

It's true that she offers FREE excerpts from her books on her website, and this obviously helps to pull in the punters, but her website also sells a wide range of products - a Turnaround residential program ($18,000), something called No-Body Intensive ($1,995), a Certification program ($650), numerous books, DVDs and CDs such as the Mental Cleanse CD collection ($230), along with other goodies such as Byron Katie water bottles, hand bags and bumper stickers. My personal favourite is the Byron Katie coffee mug (only $7).



To buy everything sold on her website you would have to spend more than $25,000!

Okay, this is all kinda funny up to a certain point, but it gets seriously disturbing when you watch this video on her website:



Can you imagine if that poor guy was suffering from social anxiety instead of cancer?

"I hate my social anxiety."
"Is that true," asks Katie, "are you sure, have you stopped to think about it? Look again! Do you really hate your social anxiety?"
"Yes," answers the man.
"So, you hate your social anxiety. Where would you be without that thought? How would you be living your life?"
"I would be ordinary!" says the man.
"Sweetheart," says Katie, "there are two ways of living your life, stressed out as you are, or not stressed out. One hurts, one doesn't. The way you're living it hurts! Now, turn it around! You hate your social anxiety, what's the opposite?"
The man answers, "I DON'T hate my social anxiety!"
"Now give me an example of why that would be true. An example of why that would be a good thing."
"I DON'T hate my social anxiety because it's opened doors that I could never have opened on my own."
"That's one!" says Katie. "Give me another one!"
"I DON'T hate my social anxiety," says the man, now holding back tears, "because it's only in my mind."
"That's two! Give me one more. If you can find two you can find three..."
"I DON'T hate my social anxiety because I'm so much more alive than I was a few years ago."
"If you can find three you can find four. I don't let you get away with anything, sweetheart. You know, loving what is, it's not liking what is, it's not accepting what is, it is good, it is really exciting!"
The man answers, "I DON'T hate my social anxiety because I'm becoming more of who I am, and in that I can be more for others."
"That's the gift!" says Katie. "And there's more! Do you ever meditate? Okay, honey, travel there, there's more..."

This pdf file is a very good exposé of Byron Katie by a former friend and devotee.
  #11  
Old 21st January 2010, 23:32
Optimistic Optimistic is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

Even if she isn't being totally honest and is ripping people of a bit it doesn't mean the stuff she gives for free can't be useful. To me it is very similar to analysing negative thoughts and beliefs and by turning the tables on these beliefs. It just has an easy to remember 4 questions.

But I personally wouldn't spend any money but I would use the free info (without getting too deep into the questions being magic bullets - they are only questions at th end of the day)

I disagree with the point about it's ok as long as some people feel better. If someone is making claims I want to br able to see scientific evidence for those claims rather than hokey-pokey vague words. Otherwise It can result in exploitation and preying on the vunerable.
  #12  
Old 22nd January 2010, 02:28
PositivePoemsbyme PositivePoemsbyme is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

I actually came across the work when I watched Janey from korea's video. The one video that helped me out a lot from her was I hate my social anxiety. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQpLbPEZF9Y... Check out the video it is very helpful and it might help you out too...Ever since then I have been trying the work techique to help me deal with my issues at hand. Plus I haven't done any CBT work before so I dont know how that works.
  #13  
Old 22nd January 2010, 11:42
Superfred Superfred is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

Quote:
Originally Posted by poemsbyme3
I actually came across the work when I watched Janey from korea's video. The one video that helped me out a lot from her was I hate my social anxiety. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQpLbPEZF9Y... Check out the video it is very helpful and it might help you out too...Ever since then I have been trying the work techique to help me deal with my issues at hand. Plus I haven't done any CBT work before so I dont know how that works.
I actually found this quite uesful. It seems to be about accepting yourself and loving yourself as you are. That's not to say that you won't work on feeling less anxious in social situations but that you won't hate on yourself for feeling anxious.
  #14  
Old 22nd January 2010, 18:36
PositivePoemsbyme PositivePoemsbyme is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

Quote:
Originally Posted by Superfred
I actually found this quite uesful. It seems to be about accepting yourself and loving yourself as you are. That's not to say that you won't work on feeling less anxious in social situations but that you won't hate on yourself for feeling anxious.
Yes exactly how I felt it was showing you to accept yourself and love yourself with the good and the bad. Also that what you see as bad like your SA can show you stuff about yourself that you do like that you got from it. I have been able to try to pull myself out of the situation and look at using the method then when Im ready go back into the situation again and keep calm and relaxed. Im still anxious but I am learning to take control of my thoughts in a more positive way.
  #15  
Old 28th January 2010, 17:46
clawhammer clawhammer is offline
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Default Re: The work of byron katie

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stardog99
I think the best thing to do with self-help is look at it critically
Well, looking at Byron Katie critically, everything I***8217;ve read about her convinces me that she***8217;s either a con artist or self-delusional.

So many of her claims about her personal life just aren***8217;t plausible, such as the claim she***8217;s never read a book in her entire life. People who knew her in the 1980s say they remember her reading books all the time. In fact, someone who was once clearing out her basement found a whole heap of self-help and spiritual books, including several Ken Keyes books that had sections underlined. These same underlined sections later turned up, somewhat re-worded, in her own books! Hmmm, I wonder why she makes this claim about never having read a book?

However, I think her most extreme claim is that ever since that morning, twenty-four years ago, when she felt a cockroach walking across her foot, she hasn***8217;t experienced anger or sadness. Think about that for a moment. If a burglar breaks into her home she won***8217;t feel anger. If she switches on her TV and sees those people suffering in the Haiti earthquake she won***8217;t feel sadness. Surely anger and sadness are perfectly normal human emotions, just like happiness and joy, which everyone ought to feel in response to life***8217;s ups and downs. What is she, some kind of robot with no feelings?

She tells people she's NOT a therapist or spiritual teacher, but whatever it is she's peddling, from $7 Byron Katie coffee mugs to $18,000 residential programs, you cannot separate her Buddha-like promise to "end all suffering" from her apparent deceits or delusions.
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