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17th April 2022, 11:49
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Bored, I wish I was confident enough to stand up for myself and make a point of doing something I enjoy once in a while rather than just going along with what my partner wants all the time.
In fact I wish I was confident enough to tell him to go **** himself and walk away. 
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17th April 2022, 12:41
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^Cripes, how is he opposing you?
Feeling a bit hazy and i don't know why. Didn't drink last night but had a disturbed sleep, as per usual the day after drinking. I may have slept in an awkward position or something cos i woke one time feeling a numbness, slightly achy discomfort in my shoulder/neck area. I've exercised already, so should be feeling better than this.
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18th April 2022, 19:55
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Shabby. I've played computer games pretty much the whole day. I haven't done that sort of thing for ages.
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19th April 2022, 11:48
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
I'm feeling very low and everything seems so pointless. Although it's already 7 weeks today since my mum passed away I am missing her as much as ever. When do you stop replaying those final horrific days over and over again in your mind? This short Life is precious but it feels totally wasted on me when I struggle to drag myself out of bed each day. I'm also dreading the end of the Summer when my son goes away to Uni. Losing the people that you love has got to be the worst kind of pain.
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19th April 2022, 12:26
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^
It's a long time since I lost my dad, but I remember when I was feeling low I used to think about how my dad would want me to get on with enjoying my life and that used to help me. I knew my dad so well I can still have a conversation with him in my head. In fact, I still consult him sometimes when I don't know what to do. Probably sounds a bit silly to some people, but it works for me.
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19th April 2022, 13:36
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^^ Have you considered seeing a professional who specialises in grief counselling Consolida? Not that I think your feelings after only seven weeks are unusual at all, and totally understandable. It just sounds like you could maybe use some extra support as you go through this.
And Scurrilous Rumour is right that I would imagine your Mum would want you to carry on and enjoy things in life if you can, there are so many things that will happen in your son's life too that will be cause to celebrate. It will be s very hard time for all of you when he leaves to go to uni, but hopefully it will be a positive time in his life, and he will most likely be back with you for long holidays and to bring you his washing 
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19th April 2022, 14:01
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Hi Consolida its coming up to four weeks since my mom died and four weeks on im finding it worse than when she died, ive been told that it can take over six months to a year for some people to try to come to terms with a loss, I have also been told that everybody's grief is different and to take your time to grieve, I hope you feel a bit better soon
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19th April 2022, 14:07
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^ If I'm being honest I can't even bare to think how painful losing my Mum will be when it does eventually happen, whenever that is, and I imagine that in the weeks afterwards I would be struggling to do anything much at all. You sound like you are coping very well, given the circumstances
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19th April 2022, 14:11
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Its very painful as it was so sudden, I find if I think about it I go to pieces so I try to stay as busy as possible, planning the funeral and ordering a memorial helped but when the funerals over I dread to think how i'll be like
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19th April 2022, 15:02
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
I listen to the podcast Griefcast sometimes and something that seems to come up often with the people being interviewed is how a necessary part of the grieving process is to live through each season without that person before the pain can start to subside. I think it makes sense, and I can relate to that from my own experience of grief - the sting of various anniversaries is always less with each one that passes, even if it's still present.
I hope you begin to feel a little better soon, Consolida and Quietman.
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19th April 2022, 15:17
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Sorry to hear you are struggling with your losses Quietman and Consolida. It’s of course very natural for you to feel this way especially in these early months.
Although I’ve suffered grief, I can’t begin to know what it’s like to lose a parent. But a friend of mine who lost one of their parents a few years ago tells me that after the first year, they began looking back on the memories with fondness rather than with pain. Of course everyone reacts differently. Hope you both start feeling a bit better.
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19th April 2022, 15:37
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
@ Quietman - I hope that there will be family and friends around you to offer you some support once the funeral is over because I've found those weeks some of the hardest. Arranging the funeral served as a kind of distraction of sorts but it's when everyone has gone back to living their everyday lives like nothing much has happened and you're left with this huge empty void that your loved one used to fill when you can often feel at your most lonely and bereft. Continue to reach out here if it helps you at all, Quietman
 Some days I can't stop crying but today isn't one of those days and I was able to watch an old video of my mum with my son when he was small. It made me smile to hear her voice and recall those happy memories. All the time you remember the things that you loved about your mum, Quietman, a part of her will continue to live on forever. I've been reading posts in a Facebook group called "Parent Loss Grief Support Group" and it's definitely helped me to feel less alone and to see that the way I'm feeling is completely normal. I'd recommend it. @scrullious Rumour - It doesn't sound in the least bit silly that you still talk to your dad especially as it brings you a lot of comfort My dad passed away years ago so I know that the grief will and does ease in time but I think when you lose your remaining parent it can also force you to confront your own mortality. My mum was around the age I am now when she lost my dad and those intervening years have gone in a flash. I haven't got all the time in the world anymore and I feel that I need to start living while Im still relatively healthy but it's so darn hard when your heart feels so heavy. And of course there's also that little thing called SA  @ Dougella - Thank you for your support and advice as always  I shall look into counselling if I feel that it might help me, or I might not  Yes, hopefully my son going to Uni will be a very positive experience for him and I'm sure I will visit him lots and shall enjoy hearing all about it. Although there's a laundrette on the campus I can certainly envisage him coming back with big bags of dirty laundry! 
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19th April 2022, 15:47
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
@ Jen - Thank you
Yes that all makes perfect sense. In the 7 weeks since my mum passed there's been a number of anniversaries (her birthday, Mother's Day, my wedding anniversary, Easter and my birthday in a few days) and it's definitely been around those times that the grief has been particularly intense. By the time Christmas comes a round I'm hoping I'll feel much stronger. @ Tembo - Thank you for your kind words
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20th April 2022, 10:54
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^ soulhugs
I hope you feel better soon.
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20th April 2022, 11:28
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Okay, so I literally just found out that my stay has successfully been extended!!!
 I just posted on another thread to wish me luck for my spouse visa, but it looks like I've been approved!!! So needless to say I'm ecstatic! Doors have been opened for me and I can finally start working soon. I still need to make my trip to the US to pick up the rest of my things, so maybe in summer I'll start working?
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20th April 2022, 12:54
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
The muscles in my face are twitching today. It's quite unnerving.
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20th April 2022, 12:56
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Quote:
I get this too all my eyes twitch, it feels really strange when it happens.
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20th April 2022, 13:42
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^/^^ Yes I frequently experience this too usually when I've not had enough sleep or am feeling extra stressed (which is most of the time).
Quote:
I'm feeling surprisingly less negative today although I'm not sure why. I had a weird scary dream. I was inside a house and dark shadowy contorted faces were clawing at the window from outside, but when I stepped outside I was greeted by a really beautiful sunlit garden. I started repeatedly calling out my mum's name and eventually found her sitting by the gate in a car. I don't think she had noticed that I was there so I was just about to talk to her when there were suddenly three loud knocks and I woke up. It was my son knocking on my bedroom door and wanting to retrieve some of his washing! Arghh Some people say that when a deceased loved one appears to you in a dream it means that they are trying to reach you. That's quite possibly a load of cobblers, or maybe not, but it's a comforting thought and that's good enough for me.
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20th April 2022, 18:16
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
What a crap day. Day off work but Couldn't bring myself to do much. Me and bf trying to find some paving slabs online all day. Found some at wickes so ordered them online ,bf got in a pissy mood when it asked for his mobile number and card details and then to complete the order it sends you a txt message and he doesn't know how to look at his txt messages....yes you read that right...(he has a 20 yr old Nokia and doesn't know how to work it basically) so, he was getting pissy with that and I thought ' I don't need this today'.
I went crying in the bedroom . A whole day wasted . FML
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20th April 2022, 22:52
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^^^ Thanks Percy
 ^ Oh dear, I'm sorry ordering some paving slabs proved to be so stressful Magnolia. I hope you have a better day tomorrow I'm still feeling reasonably positive. I even drove to B&Q on my own and bought some flowers for the garden, including a catmint plant for the cats. I've now tapered further down on my Lorazepam and am taking just half a pill a day. This time last year I was taking up to 3 pills a day. When I was watering a pot plant in the garden in the evening I found a white feather resting on one of the leaves. I've read that this could be a sign from a loved one who has passed. It's Spring and the birds are shedding feathers all over the place but I'm desperately clutching at straws at the moment so I'm going to console myself with the thought that it might have been a sign from my mum.
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21st April 2022, 09:57
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Miserable. I think the unemployment thing is taking it's toll. Also the lack of all those daily interactions i had with people via work, i'm losing that social conditioning. The typical day would include various small talk and most days a handful of proper conversation. I miss that. Just being acknowledged.
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21st April 2022, 10:09
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^ You could maybe work out some sort of routine where you go to the library or a cafe to do some of your job searching? Or you could even look into doing some volunteering somewhere like a local food bank or charity shop (or anything else that you'd prefer to do, dog rescue centre maybe?)
I do hope you get a job soon though, I'm sure you will!
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21st April 2022, 12:39
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
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