You've got a lot of talent for writing.

Every single one of us is a story. And stories can still be good even if bad things happen in those stories.

Yes, you do need closure with the whole Sarah thing. Not from her. She can't give you that. I've looked for that kind of thing from women before. I was once dumped on New Year's day. Great start to the year that was. She did it by voicemail too. All I wanted to do was see her again and when I got back to university I literally ran across town in order to find her.

I can still remember seeing her sat on the steps outside the university building. Before, it had all been about making out for hours and hours. Now it was "hi".

I tried to be okay with it. But I wasn't okay with it. I was very far from okay with it. I tried to find out what I had "done wrong". But she could not tell me. Because I hadn't done anything wrong. Indeed, she used to tell other guys she liked that she wasn't sure she was over me or not and I used to sit there mentally shouting: "nobody is asking you to get over me! Least of all me".

No, the closure has to come from you.

You're carrying Sarah around with you. And, in doing so, making all sorts of negative assumptions about yourself and why the relationship didn't work out the way you want it to. Or maybe how it worked out will end up being a good thing? Who knows? The story of your life is not over yet, after all.

Nobody else can get close to you if you're carrying Sarah around inside your head and your heart. All relationships have their time. You can keep all the good times, all those experiences, those memories of being with Sarah. Nobody can touch those. They belong to you.

And you're a decent, good person who deserves happiness in life. And other people deserve to have the chance to get to know you.

Heal yourself and heal your heart.

I agree that it might seem that would happen. Especially if that's what happened before. But what happened before is not automatically what will happen next.

Before I defeated my depression in 2009, I did the whole "let's be the lonely hero and fight this thing by myself" thing. I didn't want to be a burden to my loved ones. My relationships with my family members are fine but there are loads of fractured and damaged relationships with others outside my family including former girlfriends. Whatever the rights or wrongs of what happened in my life or who did what to who, I ended up as a hurt storm and pushed people away from me. I am only now realising how much of an outrage that was.

In the end, yes, I defeated my depression. I won the fight. Didn't think I would but I did. In truth, it was never as clear cut as that. In order to banish the power of that depression, I had to be restored. I had to realise who I actually was and that I wasn't the stories I often told myself about myself. It was incredibly painful to do but I let the love of others in. That was enough to restore me and the real me was more than a match for the depression.

Did I just discover the whole "letting the love in" thing on my own. No, I didn't. I had to swallow my pride and accept help from someone else. Someone else taught me how to do it.

As hard as it can be sometimes and as much as we do not want to be a burden to those we love, it's best to open up and ask for help. Sometimes they can help and sometimes they can't. But they would rather that than be kept in the dark and only hear about this when something awful happens.

I agree it sounds like a Disney movie to say it but love has a power to it that should never be underestimated.

We like to think we don't have to tell the people we love that we love them. And sometimes that is true. But a lot of the time it doesn't hurt to make it clear through action.

When I broke my elbow, I ended up face down on a road and I suddenly realised I could not get up by myself. Had a car come along at that point, I would have been in serious trouble. But a passer by, a complete stranger, came up and helped me get up. Sometimes we need to be vulnerable to heal and sometimes we need to let other people help us.

Some of the comments on the Yahoo news thread about this were disgusting, how suicide is the coward's way out, but also some seemed to think that seeking help is weak as well!
This is the kind of attitude we're up against.

Thats a good post. I was the same at university thought it would be a fresh start and it never was. At least you have travelled a lot though. Thats an experience sa can not take away from you. Hope your doing ok :-)

Well done.

Sucks about the timing, but if nothing else its a confidence boost, but who knows invest a little time now in it and she may still be available when you get back.

well done m8, glad it went well

Good luck on your date! I hope it goes well!

I'm really sorry you are feeling this way Matt, i can understand as i have had no motivation for a long time now and my ex broke up with me 6 months ago and ever since then i've just gone downhill
So i know how you must still think of your ex, when my ex broke up with me it was like half of me just dissapeared and i've not been able to become independent yet.

I have 5 and a half weeks without the only friend i've got, she's gone to America and its only day 2 and i feel so low

Keep strong, i know you are going through hell at the moment but for all the bad times comes happy times too!

I can relate to so much that you wrote especially about feeling empty, stuck in a rut and also wanting to go travelling too. I hope you do decide to do it and dont let fear stop you