[mhealer3]

bad family dynamics or parents with mental problems/alcohol abuse??

i strongly believe problems get 'passed down' to us,
--whether knowingly or not.

only since i'm older have i been able to see the 'whole-life' patterns that
trace from unmet needs, & fears from childhood.

my own parents had terrible childhoods, so i guess
they were doing the best they could for me, but it was still terrible.

i think there was improvement though, over how they were raised.
& even more improvement in each passing generation....

but it would have helped me a lot-- as a kid-- to be told that
mom/dad were struggling to overcome their own 'junk',

it would have helped 2 know that the way we lived
was not because they hated me,

but because they were flawed people still in their own pain.

i wish they would have gotten help though, seen a professional.
(preferably before us kids came along),
but even whole-family counseling would have
spared me a lot of the confusion & shame i grew up into.

hurting people hurt people.