The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning - Page 54

Dougella · #**1591** 4th July 2022, 20:13

^ Why has the feeling become so strong now?

Percy · #**1592** 4th July 2022, 20:20

Chin up The*Crafty*Elf

Consolida · #**1593** 4th July 2022, 21:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by The*Crafty*Elf

I just really want to go, desperately. But i can't

I'm so sorry that things are so bad for you Crafty

If anyone deserves some happiness in their life then it's certainly you

Sending love your way

Quietman · #**1594** 5th July 2022, 07:33

Crafty Elf I have only just got to no you, but in those months you have helped me more than you realise. You are a kind caring person who goes out of there way to help people, the world needs more people like you to make it a better place.

Like you Iâ€™m still having problems with my dad and it wears you down, itâ€™s so hard to deal with and you feel under a lot of pressure. All I will say is stay strong, I no you donâ€™t like chatting about your feelings, but if you ever need to just send me a message.

Iâ€™m thinking of you, and I hope you feel better soon.

Mellie · #**1595** 5th July 2022, 08:48

I wasn't having a good night last night, worried my bf - just feel as if I shouldn't exist.

Consolida · #**1596** 5th July 2022, 09:02

^ Of course you should exist Mellie. You have people that love you and care about you. Could you go for a walk in the sunshine with your boyfriend today? Getting out into nature is what helps me when my negative thoughts are spiralling

^^ It's lovely to see you posting today, Quietman, but I'm sorry that your situation is still causing you a lot of distress

Mellie · #**1597** 5th July 2022, 09:11

thanks Consolida, just feel like I stress my partner and family a lot. my partner is so fragile at the moment if I nag him about the mess in his house and all the clutter or something he gets really unwell... I feel like I'm not good for him. I just want to help him but I don't know how to. i won't see him today but I will tomorrow. hug x

hang in there quiet man hugs x

Quietman · #**1598** 5th July 2022, 13:16

^ :hugs2: I hope you get some really good news and will be ok, keep fighting and soon it will be

Mellie · #**1599** 5th July 2022, 13:48

Hugs craft elf x

Consolida · #**1600** 5th July 2022, 15:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mellie

thanks Consolida, just feel like I stress my partner and family a lot. my partner is so fragile at the moment if I nag him about the mess in his house and all the clutter or something he gets really unwell... I feel like I'm not good for him. I just want to help him but I don't know how to. i won't see him today but I will tomorrow. hug

I think the fact that you suffer with mental health issues and so have heaps of empathy and understanding means that you are a great girlfriend for your partner to have. I'm sure you are helping him in the best way possible simply by being there for him when he needs you

@ Crafty Elf - I hope that whatever you are waiting to hear about in the next week or so brings you some much needed peace of mind and that you will find the strength to look after yourself and start looking ahead to Christmas

Moksha · #**1601** 5th July 2022, 22:23

I really hope you stick around crafty elf. I know how you feel. I couldnâ€™t count the number of times Iâ€™ve longed to not exist, to dissolve into nothing, etc. And I have felt rage at my parents for bringing me into the world. Weirdly, though, Iâ€™m much happier now (at 45) than ever before. On paper I have nothing - no career, no sex life, no partner, virtually no friends. But Iâ€™m sort of calm. Iâ€™ve given up on ever leading a normal life or being truly happy and fulfilled. I have no hope at all. And because of that I can just enjoy the small things. Chocolate with cold milk, Diet Coke with loads of ice, grilled cheese sandwiches...itâ€™s worth living just to enjoy them!!

Blackflies · #**1602** 5th July 2022, 22:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mellie

thanks Consolida, just feel like I stress my partner and family a lot. my partner is so fragile at the moment if I nag him about the mess in his house and all the clutter or something he gets really unwell... I feel like I'm not good for him. I just want to help him but I don't know how to. i won't see him today but I will tomorrow. hug x

He may be dealing with OCD tendencies and can't cope with your well meaning and supportive changes. I'm like this with my mum. Her moving stuff or encouraging me to be more proactive in certain elements of my life really triggers me. I love her just as your partner does you. The snapping or eye rolling isn't a reflection of their love of you but rather at their situation. It's a rut. You can see from a different perspective, they can only see from theirs. Often we know our situation would rapidly change for the better with the subtle or not so subtle changes our significant other wants to impose but we just aren't ready for it. Putting that into words is challenging so we turn on the person who is bringing about this change or lash out emotionally. His house. If you don't share it, try to detach from his home environment. If you can, spend more time outside together even just a walk so the home doesn't become the permanent talking point. Instead of telling him he should clean up, pick up the odd piece of obvious litter and dispose of it, in a way in which he can see. If he doesn't respond, build up to doing this on a regular basis. Small obvious things and build on it. Used a cup, auto go to wash it up without asking and if anything extra is in the sink, just wash it at the same time. Subtle insignificant but consistent change is where it's at.

I am absolutely sure you're not the burden on your family you think you are. Your comment on your partner shows how compassionate and empathetic you are. Often people with these traits are overly hard on themselves when they feel the weight of others on their shoulders given they aren't able to support the people around them as significantly as they'd like. It's okay to not know how or even not to support people as much as we'd like. What's most important is that we have the desire or purity in our heart to want to. That good intention always shines through regardless of the outcome. Some people latch on to trying to help others more so in times of their own difficulty because it helps give a sense of control and stability. It's important to be mindful of not trying to overdo it. Your own mental health matters too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The*Crafty*Elf

^I'll either be planning for Christmas or planning for funerals, my dear

Nightmare Before Christmas theme sounds splendid for a funeral. I hope your mood brightens up soon. Focus on the good stuff, men candy in leather rockin' around the christmas tree.

Consolida · #**1603** 5th July 2022, 23:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moksha

I really hope you stick around crafty elf. I know how you feel. I couldnâ€™t count the number of times Iâ€™ve longed to not exist, to dissolve into nothing, etc. And I have felt rage at my parents for bringing me into the world. Weirdly, though, Iâ€™m much happier now (at 45) than ever before. On paper I have nothing - no career, no sex life, no partner, virtually no friends. But Iâ€™m sort of calm. Iâ€™ve given up on ever leading a normal life or being truly happy and fulfilled. I have no hope at all. And because of that I can just enjoy the small things. Chocolate with cold milk, Diet Coke with loads of ice, grilled cheese sandwiches...itâ€™s worth living just to enjoy them!!

That's an inspiring post Moksha. It is often the little things that make life worth living

It's great that you're feeling much more at peace with your life nowadays. It sounds that by letting go of how you think things should be and by accepting them for what they are in the present moment you've become a calmer and more content person

Dougella · #**1604** 5th July 2022, 23:52

^^ Personally no, I don't. For a start life doesn't owe us anything. But also actually enjoying a few things is a welcome relief to me! After suffering from depression for a very long time just feeling ok sometimes is great, or atleast it feels like it to me anyway.

Mellie · #**1605** 7th July 2022, 10:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dougella

^^ Personally no, I don't. For a start life doesn't owe us anything. But also actually enjoying a few things is a welcome relief to me! After suffering from depression for a very long time just feeling ok sometimes is great, or atleast it feels like it to me anyway.

Hi dougella pleased to hear you feel ok sometimes, depression sucks have had it for so long now too.

Dougella · #**1606** 7th July 2022, 16:57

^ Thankyou, it does. I do want people to know it's possible for it to get better though.

Mellie · #**1607** 9th July 2022, 09:31

I know it's possible just feels like I will always feel like this as felt depressed most of my life but I'm getting private therapy soon and trying to do make myself do a bit more with my life instead of staying in my room constantly! though its tiring keeping up with friends and bf! sorry I shared too much before on here, hope it didn't trigger anyone! x

Percy · #**1608** 17th July 2022, 15:41

Chin up Neverwas

Moksha · #**1609** 17th July 2022, 15:59

Has anyone heard from Crafty Elf? Is he OK?

Tembo · #**1610** 17th July 2022, 20:34

Hope you feel better soon NeverWas.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mellie

I know it's possible just feels like I will always feel like this as felt depressed most of my life but I'm getting private therapy soon and trying to do make myself do a bit more with my life instead of staying in my room constantly! though its tiring keeping up with friends and bf! sorry I shared too much before on here, hope it didn't trigger anyone! x

These sound like positive steps Mellie. Good to hear!

Donâ€™t apologise for â€˜sharing too muchâ€™. Itâ€™s good to let off some steam.

Consolida · #**1611** 22nd July 2022, 17:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moksha

Has anyone heard from Crafty Elf? Is he OK?

It's very sad to see that Crafty Elf has gone

I hope he is okay and manages to find some happiness in this life.

biscuits · #**1612** 22nd July 2022, 19:58

^ I also hope he's safe and well

Merritt · #**1613** 5th August 2022, 22:15

Feel like all I'm doing is getting up each day and trying to distract myself from my thoughts until it's time for bed. I feel sad and hopeless pretty much all the time, and that's with medication cushioning the worst of it. Years ago I'd feel sad that there wasn't much chance of anything good happening in my life, but now it'd feel frivolous to expect anything positive for my own future when almost everyone's set for incoming hardship, and even having the basics in life isn't guaranteed. Feels like the only thing that really keeps me around is the avoidance of actually having to do something about it.

biscuits · #**1614** 5th August 2022, 23:11

^

mancman71 · #**1615** 6th August 2022, 09:12

@Merrit I am in a similar situation.

Bluebear · #**1616** 13th August 2022, 14:07

^

biscuits · #**1617** 13th August 2022, 14:47

mancman - how are you doing at the moment?

Percy · #**1618** 13th August 2022, 18:16

Merritt, i can relate

mancman71 · #**1619** 14th August 2022, 07:43

@biscuits I'm in a bad way...feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown.

biscuits · #**1620** 14th August 2022, 10:22

^ those feelings are really scary and trying and travel through them on your own is a lot. I hope you feel able to reach out for some support. In this moment everything feels too much, and with help these feelings can pass and they wonâ€™t be here forever - even though it may feel that way at the moment

. Please reach out for some support x