Why can i be confident at work but nowhere else .....

[Maflock]

Ill try keep this short but ive managed to keep a job for about 6 years now, very easy factory work mind you. I got signed off by my GP, for over a month last year when i had a rough patch. Totaly unlike me i begged the GP to let me go back to work as i coudnt stick the lonelyness at home and wanted to socialize at work.

At work i feel like im the real me i can easily chat to girls and get on very well with a couple of very pretty girls (the hardest people for me to talk to :p ) im always making them laugh and very rarely do i get anxious. Admitidly i took 3 to 4 years to come out of my shell at work.

Then theres the other me who is completly isolated, when not at work, and if i met these people outside of work would find it very difficult if not impossible to talk to them. This leads to a lot of frustation to me as i cant seem to bring the me from work home. Im basicaly just wondering if this is normal for people with SA or i have found my personal cure but need to find it outside of work too (wishfull thinking?).

I dont personaly know anyone with SA so was just wondering what your thoughts were

[d-s-m]

Yeah im the other way around too. Work is the place im least comfortable at.

[wjfox]

Originally Posted by Forgetmenot

I'm the other way round. Why can i be confident other places and least confident at work?

Originally Posted by d-s-m

Yeah im the other way around too. Work is the place im least comfortable at.

Me too!

[ginger99]

Perhaps like me, work is your comfort zone .. because you have been there for quite some time, you have become accustomed to the situation ... ?

[snooze]

I can relate to you, I've had the same problem for a few years now. I have the odd few moments at work where I have little panic attacks but on the whole I'm calmer at work than I am when socialising with friends etc.

The only reason I can think of from my own point of view is that at work I know what my role is and I can just get on with doing my job and having the normal work style banter that goes with it. When i'm in a social setting then I struggle to know what to do or say because I'm so conscious of letting the real me show and all the anxieties that go with it.

So yea, I get where you're coming from, I think the biggest part of it is letting yourself build up confidence outside of work by reminding yourself you can do it in other situations like at work.

[Maflock]

ty for all the responses, first time ive been registered on a forum so made me quite happy that people actualy replyed. I dont know how to say this without sounding bigheaded but im always told im wasted working there and that someone as bright as me could do much more. So im thinking maybe the fact that i have no responsibiltys lets me focus on being social within work. And helps with the anxiety that would normaly be there. But then again usualy the more i think about something the less likely i am going to do it.

[humourlessness]

Better than not being confident anywhere

[Progress]

I can sometimes be more relaxed in work situations. There's not so much pressure to be sociable.
It sounds like you might be comfortable there because of the length of time you've been there. If you could find a leisure interest to take part in regularly you could eventually feel a similar way there, but it might take a while.

[mhealer3]

i'm ok in any setting,
but for
VERY short time periods only.

whether i'm at work or with family,
i can only stand speaking 2 people for 15-20 minutes at a time. then i tense up &
have to get away awhile--.

(so i'll be the one 'staying busy', or 'getting some fresh air', just to escape people
for a few minutes.)

never do i go anywhre without my own car, (as easy escape route).

the reason is: i'm convinced i'll say something "inappropriate" sooner or later.
i just don't feel comfortable talking to people.
i don't trust
& they don't get me.

[Maflock]

thanks for the response guys, ive never comunicated with someone else with SA before so it kind feels like a small step just nowing what others go through or think. cheers.