Rules for Year 0

[Appear]

Conscious that a new decade is nipping at the heels of my over-worn yet understatedly chic boots, I've started putting together a list of rules to live by to hopefully make the next 10 a little better than the last.

I thought it might be cool if others wanted to add to it/share their own.


1. F**k the worries - they serve no purpose.
2. Don't beat yourself up, especially on occasions when you struggle to f**k the worries.
3. Say yes.
4. Say hello first.
5. Stop playing it safe.
6. Show others you appreciate them.
7. Dance.
8. Don't ever think you're not good enough - you f**king are.
9. Accept that sometimes you're going to sound like an overshared, saccharine Instagram post and that you might actually be better off acting accordingly rather than sneering.


(Also, mentally add a 'and beyond...' to the thread title.)

[newbs16]

^ I agree with all of these apart from dancing, nobody should see me dance lol

[gregarious_introvert]

^^ Clearly, you're not familiar with the expression "Dance like nobody's watching"?.

I like all the rules above, but whilst I agree that happiness can be found in relationships with others, it does, for the most part, come from within. It can be influenced by others, of course, but ultimately it is ourselves on which our happiness depends. In thinking about my own rules, I can't help recalling those motivational messages which I have found on fridge magnets and posters during my travels and my first rule (with the subject of happiness in mind) comes from a fridge magnet I saw in New Zealand:

Happiness is a choice.

You don't stop having fun when you get old, you get old when you stop having fun.

Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself - if you want love, respect and kindness from others, you need to offer those things to them yourself.

Accept yourself and your imperfections - you are a work in progress, you are getting to be the person you want to be, a little at a time.

Be yourself - if you don't like yourself, then work towards changing the things you don't like, but do it for yourself, not for others.

Appreciate what you have and don't regret the thinks you lack.

The past is a foreign country and you don't live there anymore - you can't change the past, so don't let it influence your future. any more than absolutely necessary.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life - things can change, there is always an opportunity for a new beginning.

Make the most of every day - you get one life (which isn't a dress rehearsal - saying that here so it doesn't have to be a rule on its own) and time lost cannot be regained, so live the life you want as much as you can and carpe diem.

Time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time - if you enjoy something, but others think it's a waste of time, do it anyway; it's not their life, it's yours.

Don't procrastinate - putting things off will only increase the time you have to worry about whatever it is that you're delaying; doing it now means that it is in the past.

Don't fit in with others, find others who fit in with you.

I had more when I started writing, but I can't remember them now, so I may post again as things come to mind; I think I've probably added enough for now, anyway!

EDIT: I've just had another come to mind (after posting in another thread) so here it is:

There is no shame in failure; the only shame is in not trying.

[gregarious_introvert]

^ Of course, you are not wrong at all, Lone Dog. I can see the whole "chicken and egg" argument developing here, but your last sentence, in my view, says that happiness from within is the key: you mention the negative self worth preventing us from finding friendships and relationships, so that is what needs to be addressed - if we are able to find happiness within ourselves, we can find it in our relationships.

I wasn't trying to suggest that we find happiness within ourselves and then not seek relationships, I think the two go hand-in-hand; however, if we believe that our happiness and/or sense of self-worth can only be validated by our interaction with others, we are putting ourselves at a disadvantage from the start. Other people, generally, will gravitate more towards someone who is happy with themselves rather than someone who appears needy because their happiness is dependent on others.

[gregarious_introvert]

^ Hermann, it's a shame that your argument ignores the fact that I have been isolated for most of my life, including childhood. I do understand how it feels to have lived on the margins of social interaction; that is how I know that we need to find happiness from within before we can truly find it from without. There are many people who are in relationships who are unhappy (not necessarily with the relationship itself, but unhappy with life in general); human interaction, whilst a necessary part of most of our lives, does not in itself confer happiness.

You can dismiss my words as hypocritical "snippets of saccharine advice" if you wish, there are many things said within these forums which resonate with some and not with others. However, I do worry that your bitterness and refusal to consider anything other than the weltanschauung which is entrenched within you will be a hindrance to creating a future which is better than your past.

There are things which I didn't understand until relatively late in life (in my 50s), of which I wish I had been aware much earlier; however, "better late than never" (another truism!) seems apt, since that knowledge has helped me to create a present and a future much better than I could have anticipated. Truisms, by the way, may be general in their nature, but always contain an element of truth.

[neilm]

Might have to come up with a better name than "Year Zero" though.

For me, the phrase brings to mind The Khmer Rouge, Pol Pot, and The Killing Fields.

Just a thought.....

[Bluebear]

1. Don't beat myself up, especially when I struggle to **** the worries.
2. Find others to ''fit in'' with me.
3. Any time spent having fun is not a waste of time (**** the ''normals'' who might and probably would .. judge)