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#1
14th August 2009, 16:49
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One Year
Hullo
 Right I'm gonna bore you all now in the way only I know how!  Right, I'm 'biggin' myself up' because I wanna and I think I deserve it..... I'll not bore you with the in's and out's of it as you've all heard it before! But on August 15th 2008 I touched down at Gatwick airport and proptly collapsed I was so ill and in pain. I hadn't eaten for weeks other than the odd slice of bread, I had 2 broken toes, a broken hand, cracked hip and I weighed little more than 8st. My life was in one solitary siutcase, rest was getting shipped. Anyhoo, we (me and the ex) got through the airport and found the car and off we set to my best friend Zoei's house where I was to stay as I had no one else mad enough to have me. I'll always remember what she said when she opend the door "Look at you, where's my Katie gone?" I burst into tears needless to say. They helped me in the house as I couldn't walk properly and then 'he' went. She just sat there looking at me shaking her head, First thing I did was get a hug from my god daughter and I gave her my last diamonds for her christning (she's my number 3 baby!) I just sat for days, I had to be helped about the house and too and from the shop by either Zoei or Chelsea - Not fun. Took me over 2 months to be able to eat and swallow food again after he chocked me in the way he did. LOL each nite Zo would make food and try to force feed me, but it was no use I'd given up by then, I was on a downward spiral and there was no way of stopping me. I was having argument apon argument with my brother and sister over the phone. I had nothing, My children had gone, he had gone, my home, my animals, my money everything. I was a MESS. Nearly smashed my mates house up too just through pure desperation. I was in the worst place possible. We had laughs, and tears but mostly laughs, I did things to make Zo proud of me and this filled me with a feeling I hadn't felt for such a long time...Self worth. I helped deliver her dogs pups! That was cool  I got better and took my god daughter shopping all the time, she preferd spending time with me than her own family  But anyhoo. I was on a roll and things were looking up, I was finding my way again and loving it, though I still didn't have my daughters with me, I knew they wanted to be with me, and he had made a promise to me. (yeah right!) Then BOOM my money began to dwindle and my mate turned funny, getting all moody with me and just general feeling of discomfort. So I decided 4 days before my 31st to move out. I scurried round to my mum's widowers house to see if I could move in there and he to my relife said yes. I did a moonlite flit that same day and just left Zoei a note and my keys to the house. "Yeah" I thought, "this is good - got a nice relaxed place to stay, I'm seeing a fireman, who likes me ect" (most girls dream!) Honeymoon period soon came and went, I felt myself drifting back into the dark depths of depression again, not getting out of bed, ignoring my phones, not eating. I first landed myself in hospital 30th December with malnutrition. Everyone turned up to see me, even him - the ex! "christ I'm dying" I thought!! I remember Zoei turning up, my sister had called her, she litrally dropped everything and rushed to see me, she sat holding my hand looking at me and just cried. LOL I remember her having to carry me back down the pasage way to my bed as I being the stubborn cow I am, had to go for a fag, drip n all and nearly collapsed! (I'll never learn) After being let out I was Ok for a bit, sorta dragged myself through life from day to day. Never seeing a single person, not wanting to see a single person if truth be known. **Backtrack bellow. **I got to see my daughters again for the first time since July 22nd (day before Jades 12th birthday) on December 27th. My poor little Morgan burst into tears and grabbed hold of me so tight. Jade had changed. But they were still my babbies. Anyhoo, they were all going to fly back to Mallorca at the begining of Jan but neither of the girls wanted to, He left Jade behind just dumped her off with me and dragged Morgan kicking and screaming back to Santa Ponsa. Me and Jade spent the next 3 1/2 months sharing a single bed in my mothers widowers house, Not the easiest of arrangements but heyho, She was just happy to be with me and me to have her back in my life. I had stoped eating again, and my daughter weighed more than me. I was having to do everything round the house, I collapsed a couple more times but kept it quiet. Cut an extreamly long and boring story short, I was rushed to hospital 3 times in one week in April, discharged myself twice because of Jade (by this time I was my mum's widowers official carer after a fall he had) I couldn't leave her there, So I relented and called my sister. My brother went and got Jade from school and took her to stay with him. They kept me in again, pumped me full of drugs ect. I got out and moved in with my brother with Jade. Now I'm staying at my sisters and Jade is still at my bro's but I see her all the time, Morgan lives just down the road but he wont let me talk to her never mind see her (he's scared) I'm getting my own place for me and Jade (Morgan too, he just doesn't know it!) I'm the happiest I've been for such a long time, years infact, I had to loose pretty much everything I ever had to gain so much and for this I am thankfull. I know you all think I'm nuts but there is a method to my madness. I've come so far from that day in Gatwick, I fought my way back up through pain and degradation. I'm proud of myself and My daughters are too so thats good enough for me. If a single one of you saw me that day (even those of you who have met me) and saw me today you'd think you were looking at two entierly diffrent people. Go me!!  Just one last thing... I've met some really nice and incredable people in this past year, Oh don't get me wrong I've met some proper odd balls too but for the most part they were good. So for that I thankyou  I'm a happy healthy bunny now and I have a smile on my face every day. I can look back and pull my resources from all the above and think "Yeah"!!!! :rolleyes: |
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#2
14th August 2009, 19:04
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Re: One Year
Hullo Cynic
And thankyou! I know he basically dragged me on the flight didn't have a choice..Tosser. Lol yeah 'choked' added an extra letter! Yes he choked me twice, not just strangled me but gipped my wind pipe really hard and sorta crushed it a little. first time I had most of my body weight going through it coz he slammed me up againt the wall by it. I have no idea other than the fact I'd gone so long without eating, I didn't 'feel' malnourished, but they said I was anyway???? Lol, nope they don't understand us smokers!, thought you'd given up anyway?? Yeah the thing he did and is doing with the girls was and is bad, but I'm sorting it. Staying at my sisters because my brother is an arsehole and we hate eachother...basically! And there's not enough room for snotface here so.... Should have my own place by the end of this month! (hope so anyway, gotta move out by the 28th!) |
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#4
14th August 2009, 21:30
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Re: One Year
Well I don't know the background that led up to you collapsing at the airport, but well done on your remarkable recovery.
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#5
14th August 2009, 21:56
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Re: One Year
Thankyou Lamb, Mikey33 and riverside, I am SO proud of myself for having achived so much in such a short space of time, I'm really chuffed with myself, and my girls are proud of me too, Only thing that hurts is they both hate their dad
 SwayedHead, I use to live in Spain, Split up with my ex whom I'd moved there with as well as our 2 daughters, I got left up a mountain in my house with no money, transport, food ect I was already ill and he refused to take me to the medical center...So what happend happend. And thanks! |
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#6
15th August 2009, 08:40
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Re: One Year
You sound like a warrior to me and you should be feel proud of yourself!
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#7
15th August 2009, 13:10
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Re: One Year
Quote:
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#8
15th August 2009, 14:05
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Re: One Year
Quote:
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#9
16th August 2009, 00:00
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Re: One Year
Wow, what a story! you really have been to hell and back haven't you. It makes you grateful and able to see what is important in life doesn't it, and for you I guess it's your girls. It's clear to see you love your children so much. You sound like an awesome mum. You never really gave up even when you gave up really did you?! You knew that you had it in you to turn things around and you did. If you can do that then what else can you do, as far as I'm concerned anything you dream of is possible. You're a true inspiration and a fantastic role model for those girls. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that things continue on the path they are going, and even when things go wrong (which is life) remember you have the strength to get through it. You won't ever lose that, it will always be with you.
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#10
16th August 2009, 11:25
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Re: One Year
Katie - well done!
 Like someone once said to me - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Go you!
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#11
16th August 2009, 12:04
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Re: One Year
Rea, I hardly see myself as an inspiration to my girls, But ermm yeah dunno!
It's true though I nearly did end it all but they were the only thing that made me take stock of things. - Could never have done that to them, I love them too much. SoftlySpoken1, I know that saying ohh too well! Nearly did kill me, But being a stubborn moo helps too I 'spose! Thankyou both.
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#12
20th August 2009, 18:41
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Re: One Year
Christ Katie, I remember reading some of your posts when it happened but I never realised things had got that bad (I was coming and going myself so lost the thread of a lot of the conversations).
Well done and stay strong for the girls. Not surprised they both hate their dad, he's a selfish idiot to put it mildly. |
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#15
26th August 2009, 21:43
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Re: One Year
Thankyou indiegirl1980,
Yeah it really did get that bad and then some! - And yes 'idiot' is putting it very mildly!!  Nikkos, Was and is hard but I know I can do it, and I will, thankyou also. asweeney, lol yeah another 12 months...I'm working on tomorrow!! But anything is possible, and when I'm involved rather strange things do tend to happen!! (all good you understand!  ) ThankyouThankyou all  Katie.xx |
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#17
6th September 2009, 09:14
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Re: One Year
Thanks spiral!
Right now all that craps out the way I'm moving on to phase 3! Is gonna be damn hard but I recon I can pull it off...I hope:rolleyes: |
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#18
30th September 2009, 13:51
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Re: One Year
OMG I'm getting Morgan back He's giving her back I'm so happy I could puke
Both my babies back together finaly as they should be!!!!!!!  Project over...... |
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#20
30th September 2009, 15:17
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Re: One Year
Thankyou hun I'm over the moon to say the very least!!!!
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#22
30th September 2009, 15:58
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Re: One Year
Thankyou artist13
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#23
13th October 2009, 00:52
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Re: One Year
Quote:
Is well and truely *case closed*
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#25
13th October 2009, 21:25
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Re: One Year
^^ Thankyou darlin'!
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#26
13th October 2009, 23:08
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Re: One Year
Good for you!
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#28
29th October 2009, 11:29
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Re: One Year
^^Thankyou Heather
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post, Kate - you're a tough cookie... Nice to have you still around