The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

[mancman71]

@biscuits Thanks for your reply.

[magnolia]

Feel hopeless and what's the point in being here.
I'm always secretly hoping that I'll get a terminal illness. During the hot weather I deliberately didn't put sun cream on when I was out , just the thought of getting skin cancer or something, it really doesn't bother me

[Dougella]

^ You don't deserve to be living like that

[Mr. Nobody]

That it might

[Dougella]

^

[Bluebear]

^^

[biscuits]

^

it's so hard when our minds find it difficult to be calm and still. Hope you can reach out for a little bit of support to help you to untangle things.

[Sunrise]

I feel like I'm just going through the motions now. I'm not depressed and I don't have depression, but I don't feel like there is any light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I feel like I've got to a stage in life now that I can't come back from. I've got too many problems that I don't know how to deal with and it's completely taken over me. Mental illness defines who I am and I don't think there's anyone underneath that anymore. The person I had the potential to be is no longer there, they already died a long time ago.

[Percy]

Sorry you're having difficulty Sunrise

[Sunrise]

I haven't spoken to anyone at all, don't really want to really. Seeking any sort of support is going to be very much a leap of faith as I can't see how anyone could help.

Blind optimism is what keeps me going. The thought that things might just magically change one day, even though realistically there's nothing to suggest they will. I haven't the feintest clue how things could actually get better, I don't think about the future, I feel like I've reached the bottom now and I'm stuck here.

[biscuits]

Sunrise, I was a bit worried about your posts lately and was going to ask if you feel like you might be spiralling downwards. I hope you feel able to reach out for some support you're a good guy and feeling stuck at the bottom is one of the hardest things to try to face on your own.

[saguy]

Hey Sunrise,

I've been having a tough time too for a few years now and have wanted to try and get help but I find trying to ask for help so hard and haven't been able to do it. A couple of times I've phoned a support line like samaritans but just hung up as soon as someone answered because it seems so hard to admit to someone that I need help and like you I feel like I'm never really going to feel any better. I recently was having a bad morning and managed to register for a local NHS talking therapies appointment in which someone will phone me for initial asessment at least but chances are I'll just cancel that. I just hope I can find the courage to actually talk to someone and I hope you do too sunrise.

[Mellie]

very suicidal. Been in bed all week just snoozing. Not able to concentrate on anything, everything's irritating me , constantly tense and achy. I feel like I'm better off dead and I am getting more and more angry with my parents. Only cos I refused my depot injection and they keep going on saying I'm going to get sectioned again. I refused it cos it's not helping. No one can help me, I'm trying therapy but I just don't see how its going to help.

[Dougella]

^ Sorry you're having such a difficult time Mellie. Are you feeling worse since you missed your depot shot though? If you feel it's not helping it's probably a good idea to speak to your psychiatrist incase you need a different medication

[Mellie]

What's the point in that he won't do anything to do with my meds already discussed that with him and it's not to do with stopping my depot I only refused yesterday.meds don't help me. Psychiatrist said this to me too and wants me to do therapy which I'm doing but I don't believe in it.

[Mellie]

No one can help me and I can't see myself getting better.

[biscuits]

^

It's hard to get the balance between the most effective type of therapy and person delivering the therapy. Have you mentioned to the therapist that you're not feeling the effects of it yet? They might be able to change their approach or explore what it is about it that's not working at the moment. Sometimes therapies are better when a person doesn't feel in crisis. It might be that you could ask them to focus on specific strategies and techniques for how you're feeling at this exact moment. It's something I did once and the counsellor gave me some different techniques, and some sort of affirmations to counter the negative thoughts. She helped me to see what it was I needed to do at that moment. It was really useful.

Thinking of you, Mellie Intense feelings can make us feel like they'll be here forever because they're all consuming and have a habit of popping up again. Hope you feel better supported soon. remember this is how you feel right now and feelings change.

[Percy]

Chin up nanuq

[girlinterrupted]

I'm so sorry you're having to go through any of this Nanuq, it would get anyone down especially with just the on and on-ness of it. You've done so well to cope, but I know the frustration of not wanting to have to cope, but to flipping feel ok again. Please be kind to yourself, remember how much you are loved and keep venting as much as you need to

[Mellie]

Hoping you are ok nanuq sorry you are struggling so much , I hope you can find another doctor that can help you find out what's going on. .
Thanks biscuits, I'm not really good at talking in therapy as for my suicidal thoughts they are there daily for years but stronger at times and to the point of not wanting to carry on atm. No one is wanting to review my meds either and I can't be bothered to take the one I'm currently.on cos it doesn't help. Anyway nothing no one can do. Just wannt to die in my sleep.

[biscuits]

^^ would it help to write a few things down to share with the therapist, instead of speaking?


^ Nanuq, I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling mentally and physically. I really hope some professionals can help you. Long Covid sounds absolutely awful to live with. Are you part of support groups? Hopefully someone can signpost somewhere that offers the support, therapies or treatment that you need.

[Clumsy*]

^Really sorry to hear about the chest tremors, Nanuq. It sounds worrying, distressing and exhausting I'm glad you've found some people that share your experience. Would those tremors be comparable to heart palpitations ?

[Mellie]

I can't keep going

[Dougella]

^

[Percy]

Aw Mellie

[3stacks]

Feeling hopeless when it comes to my life because I think it's too late to fix. I don't have qualifications etc so no prospects. My social anxiety gets in the way of everything and I feel its not really worth living

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[Ronnie_Pickering]

You can always get new qualifications. I got one last year in accounting. Social anxiety is a pain but there's a lot of positives in life, and a lot of adventures you can have (even on your own).
Things can look at bit lousy at 1am in the morning, hope things look a bit fresher this morning.

[3stacks]

^it's hard to keep distracting myself from it knowing my life is unfixable. It makes everything else seem pointless I guess

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[Percy]

Sorry to hear you're having problems 3stacks

[Boy]

Originally Posted by Mellie

I can't keep going

Do you think there is something that can actually make you feel better? Something that others could do, but not doing at the moment or that you could have done, but just don't have motivation / possibility at the moment?