~Our Goals!~ Mark I

CheshireChaz · #1 22nd February 2009, 14:11

Well what about a room or sub-category in the recovery room called
"My Goals"
or
"Our Goals"
In there people make threads like:
"I want to go to the local shop tomorrow.
or
Next month i think i want to go down to the Job Center"

And people reply in the topics and support/encourage them ?
If they don't make it then people can reassure them, let them know its okay.
If they do make it they should be encouraged to say so in the Trophy Room

I just think it would be a nice positive thing peeps could make use of.
This is the trial version of it (and the first one at that lol)

Plz try to be constructive and do take advantage of the idea
i think it cud help us a bit

CheshireChaz · #2 22nd February 2009, 14:14

I'll kick us off:

My goal is: To attend my counseling appointment on Tuesday.

Its going to be more difficult than usual because we're working thru some difficult stuff at the mo, but not only that she's gonna wanna talk about last night. The police/hospital have had to speak to my counselor/psychiatrist about how im feelin n whats going on etc.
So its gonna be really tough, but i wanna survive. I want to overcome. So i must do this and push forward. Its tough but it has to be done.

Generation Erm · #3 22nd February 2009, 14:37

to be happy

CheshireChaz · #4 22nd February 2009, 15:37

okay big goals are kwl n all, n its great to share n thanks but what i mean like is like short term goals.
Things you can try and accomplish between now and a month from now ?

Median · #5 22nd February 2009, 15:41

I was thinking of starting a blog doing goals. I know i never will get round to most of them but knowing there documented i might feel more pressured to.

So yeah good idea.

My goal(s) atm...

Get down to the job centre by end of this month
Go for a gym induction by end of the month(maybe give a little more time for that as i really fear it)

Zephyr · #6 22nd February 2009, 15:58

I like this thread

Never really noticed before that there isn't a goal setting part to the forum. There is the SA room, but in my view for something like goals we could make a more specific area.

In relation to what Median says, I was also thinking about starting a blog on my goals as a way to focus my efforts.

Ok, well my short term goals are as follows:

1) Get a job, be it part or full time - I posted a thread about this a few weeks ago, still not got a job, but I am actually making good progress and on the verge of doing an application.

2) Weird one but here goes.....Stop using the self service in ASDA and start using the tills. Today I used a manned till for the first time in a supermarket for a long time! I went to the very far end, where it was quite queit. In future my aim is to slowy move down the checkouts to the more busy ones, maybe everyweek or so move down one.

3) Start some voluntary work I have enquired about.

Ok these are my short term goals, boring I know

Good luck everyone else with your goals - and good luck CheshireChaz with the appointment on tuesday and also to Median for the job centre and the gym intro.

CheshireChaz · #7 22nd February 2009, 15:58

tiger do you have any self help stuff you can read to help ya self out with negative thoughts etc ? I cud try and send you some if you want? Negative thoughts/beliefs rly suk

Keep workin at it hun =]

Median thts a good goal bud im rly tryin to get back into exercise too.
Exercise is obviously good for the body but i think its really healthy for brain chemistry too. I think it enables your brain to better process happier moods and thoughts
Our minds can get a bit clogged up with negative shite at times and daily exercise seems to like refresh the system

CheshireChaz · #8 22nd February 2009, 16:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zephyr

I like this thread

Never really noticed before that there isn't a goal setting part to the forum. There is the SA room, but in my view for something like goals we could make a more specific area.

THANKYOOOUUUU
lol its what i've been tryin to say! But some people simply aint havin it!
Hopefully this topic will show otherwise!
We need another section,
it will get too messy having everyone's goals in the recovery room.

It will be too messy routing thru both Self Help Info
Treatment Info
AND Peoples goals in one section

Also, trying to cram everyone's goals into One Topic is also a little ridiculous, coz ther wud be so many people in one topic, some would be unintentionally ignored!

We need a sub category in the Recovery Room for short term achievable goals!
(long term is fine too, but being long term its hard to work with rly, do you know what i mean ?

)

I rly dnt understand why making a sub catagory to the recovery room is a problem, yes it might not do any good but it definitely wnt do any harm will it.
So surely.. go for it ? Why not

#9 22nd February 2009, 16:11

To get up the courage to go to the doctor and try and get some help

CheshireChaz · #10 22nd February 2009, 16:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellotiger

Sorry I should of been more specific. I'm fine, I just have an interview tomorrow so I want to stay calm for that.
Actually some self-help anti-negative thought things would be helpful if you can send me them

sure

we can sort it out later on, i'll photo copy my stuff and post if you want ?

CheshireChaz · #11 22nd February 2009, 16:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by mousey

To get up the courage to go to the doctor and try and get some help

do you think you may find it easier to try and speak over the phone?
Or go in in person hun ?

Shanibandangle · #12 22nd February 2009, 16:19

My goal tomorrow is to not give a ****.

#13 22nd February 2009, 16:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by CheshireChaz

do you think you may find it easier to try and speak over the phone?
Or go in in person hun ?

I need to go there, I've put it off for so long but I have to do it, just can't do this on my own any more.

This is a great idea for a thread btw Charlie

CheshireChaz · #14 22nd February 2009, 16:26

thts rly good of you mousey

you can get thru to the other side hun, it'll be over before you know it and you'll feel so proud afterwards. I know its a struggle and a real climb but im tellin ya, i rly believe you can do it.
Anyone on here will say the same!

Amber Fyre · #15 22nd February 2009, 16:27

Goals for the next month or so:

1) To sort out my living situation - either get a flatmate in or move somewhere else.
2) To get a new job
3) To have more fun and go out more often and not hold back as much

Goal for today:
To eat something! Haven't eaten properly in about a week now, need to get my appetite back. Ate 3 pieces of pasta today which is moving forward a bit. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll be back to normal. Apparently my Wii Fit thinks my weight loss in the past week is 'worrying'

CheshireChaz · #16 22nd February 2009, 16:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shanibandangle

My goal tomorrow is to not give a ****.

haha me too!

#17 22nd February 2009, 16:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by CheshireChaz

thts rly good of you mousey

you can get thru to the other side hun, it'll be over before you know it and you'll feel so proud afterwards. I know its a struggle and a real climb but im tellin ya, i rly believe you can do it.
Anyone on here will say the same!

Thankyou

it means a lot

CheshireChaz · #18 22nd February 2009, 16:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by amberfirez

Goals for the next month or so:

1) To sort out my living situation - either get a flatmate in or move somewhere else.
2) To get a new job
3) To have more fun and go out more often and not hold back as much

Goal for today:
To eat something! Haven't eaten properly in about a week now, need to get my appetite back. Ate 3 pieces of pasta today which is moving forward a bit. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll be back to normal. Apparently my Wii fit thinks my weight loss in the past week is 'worrying'

aww hun i can rly appreciate the eating problem!
When im depressed i find it rly hard to eat anything at all,
when i struggle i find it easier to have something like a soup, ya can just sorta pour it down lol get it out the way and done with.
I rly wish all the best with this! You gotta keep yourself fueled, our minds dnt stand much of a chance of processing good thoughts when they dnt have the energy to do so : (
Every little helps, just try to do what you can, and build up gradually

AAAli · #19 22nd February 2009, 17:02

Longterm goal: Girlfriend, put on 1 stone
Month goal: Start driving lessons
Fortnight goal: Go out drinking with mates
Week goal: To go get my hair cut, or at least make the appointment (hate doing it)
Tomorrow goal: be relaxed as possible the whole day, make an effort to talk to people as much as possible, be slightly late for lecture (normally come in 1 hour early as trains only every hour

as I don't like everyone looking at me when I come in late)
Today goal: Learn about relaxation techniques

stripeymouse · #20 22nd February 2009, 17:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by CheshireChaz

I'll kick us off:

My goal is: To attend my counseling appointment on Tuesday.

Its going to be more difficult than usual because we're working thru some difficult stuff at the mo, but not only that she's gonna wanna talk about last night. The police/hospital have had to speak to my counselor/psychiatrist about how im feelin n whats going on etc.
So its gonna be really tough, but i wanna survive. I want to overcome. So i must do this and push forward. Its tough but it has to be done.

hey, good luck with this, i have a counselling appt tomorro and one on tuesday too - argh and i haven't been to either for a couple of weeks so i am worried too - i'll think of u at your appt!

Amber Fyre · #21 22nd February 2009, 17:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by CheshireChaz

When im depressed i find it rly hard to eat anything at all,

I'm the same, I 'comfort starve'.

But the weird thing is I don't think I'm depressed at the moment. I actually feel quite alright, happy about certain things even. I'm sure the food thing is a mind thing though. I think maybe I've just got so much to sort out at the moment and trying to implement all these changes... really trying to shift my life around in so many areas. Maybe I subconsciously am not eating to create some element of control and starving yourself makes you feel you have some control over your life? haha, I don't know. Psychoanalysing myself there.
Figured out an action plan today of what I need to do so think I'm feeling a little less overwhelmed so hope appetite will return soon!

TheOneWhoKnocks · #22 22nd February 2009, 17:26

Good idea charlie

My goal for this week is to Call an old friend and initiate some kind of 'social activity'

and apply for a couple of jobs if i find anything

CheshireChaz · #23 22nd February 2009, 18:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by jebus89

Good idea charlie

My goal for this week is to Call an old friend and initiate some kind of 'social activity'

and apply for a couple of jobs if i find anything

nice work bud, yeah onwards and upwards eh ? lol :p
Nice man, thts some good SA ass-kicking going on there!

Quote:

Originally Posted by amberfirez

I'm the same, I 'comfort starve'.

But the weird thing is I don't think I'm depressed at the moment. I actually feel quite alright, happy about certain things even. I'm sure the food thing is a mind thing though. I think maybe I've just got so much to sort out at the moment and trying to implement all these changes... really trying to shift my life around in so many areas. Maybe I subconsciously am not eating to create some element of control and starving yourself makes you feel you have some control over your life? haha, I don't know. Psychoanalysing myself there.
Figured out an action plan today of what I need to do so think I'm feeling a little less overwhelmed so hope appetite will return soon!

yeah lol when i psychoanalyse myself haha i think thers definitely alot of pain whiring round in my sub conscious.
Like i wonder if i am punishing myself because maybe i think its my fault i have SA ?
Another thing i thought about starving is that i wud only be hurting myself, not the people who abused me.
Tis something for me to think about.
I like the term "comfort starve" lol, i guess its what i do. Trying to fight it tho! We must, we have to protect and look after ourselves, we don't deserve to beat ourselves up or punish ourselves. We've done nothing wrong.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stripeymouse

hey, good luck with this, i have a counselling appt tomorro and one on tuesday too - argh and i haven't been to either for a couple of weeks so i am worried too - i'll think of u at your appt!

I'll be thinkin o yu too bud! Im only seeing the one counseller, i think i need more support, sometimes im waiting a while for the next appointment and life is difficult like

Quote:

Originally Posted by AAAli

Longterm goal: Girlfriend, put on 1 stone
Month goal: Start driving lessons
Fortnight goal: Go out drinking with mates
Week goal: To go get my hair cut, or at least make the appointment (hate doing it)
Tomorrow goal: be relaxed as possible the whole day, make an effort to talk to people as much as possible, be slightly late for lecture (normally come in 1 hour early as trains only every hour

as I don't like everyone looking at me when I come in late)
Today goal: Learn about relaxation techniques

I rly wish ya all the best with the driving lessons, but it sounds like your thinking start them and stick at them, maybe you even have visions of going all the way up to your driving test and passing first time n all. Keep it all in reach, maybe it would feel like less pressure if you thought "Im just going to book the one driving lesson, just the one, without any obligations to continue"
and if im happy after it, i'll book another, and another and so on.
do ya know what i mean? Im rly not trying to sound negative at all. I think the goal is great and i want ya to achieve it mate! But was suggesting a way of maybe taking some of the pressure out of it ? So it wud feel less daunting maybe ?
I dunno lol, i think im tlking rubbish lol

ignore me haha

SoftlySpoken1 · #24 23rd February 2009, 10:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by amberfirez

I'm the same, I 'comfort starve'.

... Maybe I subconsciously am not eating to create some element of control and starving yourself makes you feel you have some control over your life?

I think you are right there - when it comes to not eating - I think it is about control - but also I think it is physiological too. Thing is I guess not eating is also going to upset people around you - a lot too! Too much pop psychology!! I have the opposite problem and eat too much - for me I think I am still at 47 rebelling against my parents who told me I was fat!!!! and worried that I would never get on in life being so fat fat fat!!!! (guess they were right in a way) but I am OK now and for the first time ever - I feel 2009 is the year when I change my eating forever! Go Me!

Charlie - I am posting in this thread for you - and I know you are in a bad place at the moment and I admire you for hanging in there - its complicated for you I know -

please be as kind to yourself as you can be

I am trying not to post on here too much for a while - but I want you to know - that if I was religious I would be praying for you. You are going to make it!

So my goal - to do stuff rather than sitting at PC!

CheshireChaz · #25 23rd February 2009, 11:07

Thanks hun

i appreciate it, im sorry your parents said some nasty things

dnt let that get to you tho! =]
Its a good goal btw, i cnt quite go for that just yet, but vry soon hopefully be more active and start going for walks again

gingercat · #26 23rd February 2009, 15:00

My goal for this week is to sit down in our work coffee room and talk to someone, instead of running in to use the coffee machine and hurrying out again.

Louise Marie · #27 23rd February 2009, 16:20

What a great idea to have a goals room! good thinking batman!
My goal is to go to a family dinner tonight! x

hgraham · #28 23rd February 2009, 16:26

Good thread, chaz. (good to see you posting)....
My goal for now - go through with the ladies only meet. go through with the Ladies only meet, go through with the ladies only meet....go through with the ladies only.....
H

CheshireChaz · #29 23rd February 2009, 17:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellotiger

Goal achieved

I stayed calm today even though it wasn't what I expected and when I was freaked out I didn't beat myself up and thus stayed calm.
I also did something else today that is worth noting because it is something that I have been trying to convince myself to do for ages - started a conversation with someone without them talking first.

My goal for tomorrow and over the next 4 days is to get through these confidence building workshops that I have to do to get the job, and again to stay calm and not beat myself up if I don't stay calm.

Thats rly great

Rly pathing the way to recovery ther!

CheshireChaz · #30 23rd February 2009, 17:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by gingercat

My goal for this week is to sit down in our work coffee room and talk to someone, instead of running in to use the coffee machine and hurrying out again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Louise Marie

What a great idea to have a goals room! good thinking batman!
My goal is to go to a family dinner tonight! x

is Wishing you both Good Luck !

My goal will be put to the test tomorrow morning
sooo
ARGH! :yikes: lol hugs

hugs

lol