Doing good.

[ßazzaOld]

I really need to post some of these things..

I have liked managed to talked to people alot easier again and again.. I have managed to get people out to lunch.. I have discovered an sa person and giving them advice..

Things just seem better. I know I come across alot better than I used to. I come across as the person everyone looks at as the center piece in many situations. I am the one who is the relaxing presence amongst people. I find it quite annoying sometimes though when I just sit down and I seem to become fascinating for some reason.. and got to think up some crap to say so they can talk to me. Sometimes I miss just being the person who gets ignored but obviously I prefer to be liked more often than not.

I still got alot I need to keep doing but I done alot more than I have ever done in a long time. My goals for the moment is to really try interact with people outside of work.. asking see them and that. I feel quite awkward at the moment and slightly rushed due the fact I dont have many friends but I think I am managing ok.

..I also keep hating being at the computer more and more. As soon as I get home I want to be outside again. I miss the challenges. I get tired easy but.. as soon as I get home I just want to be out and face challenges again. Like today there was two new people at work.. I managed to speak to both of them a bit and one of them more so at lunch.. the other one I didnt manage to get the chance to talk to more though. I felt quite annoyed I didnt get the chance to.. but its ok it can wait till next time.

Anyway on the more serious friendships I am trying to make I hope to make work quite good. While still coping with new people and that. I know realistically I must expand further than my current surroundings though. I donno how I will go about that yet.

Im quite happy that I found someone with similer problems at work and we keep doing 'insider' jokes about our anxiety problems at other peoples expense.. Quick whispers or expressions.. its quite stress relieving tbh. And then as soon as we alone we can just discuss it if we want.. Which is nice. I wish so bad that I could do this with everyone. I finding many people uninteresting but forced to interact with them for the sake of tackling my anxiety and that. There are quite a few people I enjoy the company of ligitamately though.

I really dont know what to say.. Its all about how my abilities to express myself more has improved. I got a long way to go I guess but I feel.. happier. I think thats what the main thing I have done. Just feel quite happier the last few weeks. I dont have many friends but I seem to be slowly making them. Im sure in time that I will have a few contacts I can talk to sometimes.. or atleast have lunches with some pepole instead of hiding away or whatever.

[CJGray]

That's great.

Know that this is not happening by some sort of magic. Whatever it is that you are doing is creating those results.

Keep doing whatever it is you are doing and you will be fine.

[IRIS]