so, i reckoned it was time for a spot of trumpet blowing. as alot of you know, i was in a bad place last year, i was a virtual recluse who lost first his friends and countless jobs, and then his flat and girlfriend thanks to those lovely pair, depression and sa. i made one suicide attempt and battled suicidal impulses for a few months, before nearly attempting to end my life again. well, down the line, here i am. i'm set to begin volunteering for a housing association as a mentor to homeless and vulnerable people. i'm to start a course in counselling in september, and hopefully follow this as a vocation, as i really want to help people and use the skills i've learnt working through my problems to be of use to others suffering. last year i couldn't leave my front door without being sick beforehand, now i'm getting buses everyday, going to new places and it IS tough sometimes, but i dont cancel appointments if i feel shaky, i go and do them. i'm making new friends, seeing new places and have long term goals and plans, whereas in the past everything was geared to getting off my face that night. i always thought, for some reason, i'd be dead before my 30th birthday but hey, i turn that age on saturday and touch wood, i'll make it! plus i'm in love, and i'll be spending my birthday with the girl of my dreams, the most supportive, loving and accepting person i've ever met in my life, nevermind had as a girlfriend
i've had a ton of support from some wonderful people, but i guess, the strength was inside me, and for anyone who thinks they're a hopeless case, don't listen to yourself! sometimes you're the person who knows you least! hope this isn't too boastful. just wanted to show that things CAN get better
8th April 2008, 22:00
er...go chris!
